I don't know that I have much to say tonight, but I'm at work for another 2 hours so babble I shall!
The night shift girl took today off because it's her birthday and I can't really fault her since I do my best to take the whole week off for my birthday every year. :D
I've been thinking about kids, recently.
You all remember my friend Eve and her daughter Evesdottir. Who is my 'goddaughter', though what that means with a child that is unchurched, a father that was Seventh Day Adventist and a mother who was Methodist and a woman who bounces mentally back and forth between traditional Christianity (as seen in Catholicism and Orthodoxy) and Islam is something we've yet to really have to explore.
I look at her and sometimes I think, 'I want one. I want a dozen.' and then I think about a husband and a family and my own home and it's all nice and good and then I remember that I don't fall in love and that my life would be much easier if someone would just arrange a marriage for me. :p
And then I look at her and I hear stories of Eve staying up all night because Evesdottir was sick (she's fine) and having to clean up the mess (it was a *BIG* mess, poor baby) and I'm happy that I don't have one or a dozen because Evesdottir loves books and she was over at my house the other day and that's all well and good except she's only a year and a half and sometimes she still wants to put the book in her mouth and give Auntie Amber a heart attack.
And then I look at her and I think that if anything ever happened to her I'd fuck up the universe to make it right or get justice and I worry about what I would do if I had my own children because apparently kicking the shit out of other parents is frowned upon or something, I don't know.
And this is all a part of the reasons why it's probably good that I don't have kids.
Aside from the whole I don't believe in lying to them so my children would be full of terrible, 'non age appropriate' knowledge.
Like death. Why do we lie to kids about death? It's a hard concept, sure, but it's hard for adults too. What happens when someone or something (a pet) dies? They cease to be *here*, but what does that mean? Isn't that what religion is supposed to answer? If a parent has faith, why can't they just embrace that with their child in this instance?
And don't get me started on those parents who don't teach their kids the proper names for certain body parts. Ugh.
Kids are complicated and wonderful and I think they make the universe a little more bearable by their existence.
Showing posts with label kids. Show all posts
Showing posts with label kids. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Jolly Fat Men, Giant Bunnies With Eggs, and Fairies With Tooth Obsessions
I was reading a blog post somewhere and they were talking about whether or not it's okay for Christians to play Santa Claus. I don't have anything against Santa, I guess. I learned he wasn't real very early on - I can't even remember a time when I thought he was real, that's how early I learned there was no Santa. But I don't have this animosity toward the character that some people appear to have. *shrug* He's based on a real person - a Saint, as a matter of fact. St. Nicholas of Myra's feast day was yesterday, December 6th.
Anyway. It just reminded me that I'd decided a long time ago that if I ever had kids (I wasn't planning on it at that point, but there was always an outside chance and now I want to have kids...) I wasn't going to tell them about the character of Santa Claus. Not because I thought that the revelation later on would destroy their trust in the adults or make them wonder what other invisible beings we'd been lying to them about but because I think that the myth of Santa as it exists today encourages unrealistic expectations for presents. After all, if Santa is a magical man living at the North Pole with magic elves and rain deer then why can't he give them that pony or that $200 Barbie dream house or whatever it is they want? Is it because they've been bad? No. It's because 'Santa' is Mommy and Daddy and Mommy and Daddy can't afford the $200 Barbie dream house with all the accessories and Mommy and Daddy can't afford the pony in the first place and understand that their house is not zoned for livestock and who's gonna feed and groom it anyway? Yeah. Kids will still want things that they're not going to get even if they know that 'Santa' isn't real, but I think that knowing it's really your parents who have to buy you these things makes a difference. Especially once they get a little bit older and start to understand about money and how it's necessary to keep the roof over their heads and food on the table and how there's a finite supply of it. Which is another thing - kids should learn about that as early as possible. It's all about knowledge and treating them not like they're pets but like they're going to have to grow up and be adults at some point. Keeping stuff from them is not actually helpful most of the time. I do also see the point that Santa takes away from the religious meaning of the holiday - Christmas is very commercial for most people, in case you didn't notice that one on your own.
And I realized that I'm not going to do the 'Easter Bunny' either. It's just silly and takes away from Pascha which is the entire point of the season. Why can't you do Easter things without involving an imaginary giant rabbit? Dye the eggs, have an Easter basket, all that good stuff. Just...without the giant bunny.
The Tooth Fairy is *also* unnecessary! Loosing teeth just shows that the child is growing up. I think it's still cute to give them a quarter or whatever for every lost tooth as a sort of memorial for it - no fairy busting into your room in the middle of the night necessary.
Anyway. It just reminded me that I'd decided a long time ago that if I ever had kids (I wasn't planning on it at that point, but there was always an outside chance and now I want to have kids...) I wasn't going to tell them about the character of Santa Claus. Not because I thought that the revelation later on would destroy their trust in the adults or make them wonder what other invisible beings we'd been lying to them about but because I think that the myth of Santa as it exists today encourages unrealistic expectations for presents. After all, if Santa is a magical man living at the North Pole with magic elves and rain deer then why can't he give them that pony or that $200 Barbie dream house or whatever it is they want? Is it because they've been bad? No. It's because 'Santa' is Mommy and Daddy and Mommy and Daddy can't afford the $200 Barbie dream house with all the accessories and Mommy and Daddy can't afford the pony in the first place and understand that their house is not zoned for livestock and who's gonna feed and groom it anyway? Yeah. Kids will still want things that they're not going to get even if they know that 'Santa' isn't real, but I think that knowing it's really your parents who have to buy you these things makes a difference. Especially once they get a little bit older and start to understand about money and how it's necessary to keep the roof over their heads and food on the table and how there's a finite supply of it. Which is another thing - kids should learn about that as early as possible. It's all about knowledge and treating them not like they're pets but like they're going to have to grow up and be adults at some point. Keeping stuff from them is not actually helpful most of the time. I do also see the point that Santa takes away from the religious meaning of the holiday - Christmas is very commercial for most people, in case you didn't notice that one on your own.
And I realized that I'm not going to do the 'Easter Bunny' either. It's just silly and takes away from Pascha which is the entire point of the season. Why can't you do Easter things without involving an imaginary giant rabbit? Dye the eggs, have an Easter basket, all that good stuff. Just...without the giant bunny.
The Tooth Fairy is *also* unnecessary! Loosing teeth just shows that the child is growing up. I think it's still cute to give them a quarter or whatever for every lost tooth as a sort of memorial for it - no fairy busting into your room in the middle of the night necessary.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Child Rearing From the Peanut Gallery
Based on my *extensive* experience with other peoples children. Okay, really it's all about my Mom's godkids and how I don't like the way their parents are raising them. It's my blog, I'll whine if I want to.
1. If your children cannot be separated from you for any period of time at all, there is something wrong. You are making them clingy.
2. At the ages of five and three, they should be sleeping in their own bloody rooms. Yes, kids will have nightmares or get sick and want to sleep with mommy and daddy. The exceptions are just fine. It's when the exceptions become the rule that you are in trouble. The fact that you've moved their toddler beds into *your* bedroom means that you are encouraging this behavior. This will bite you in the ass. It is already, you just don't realize it.
3. Kids will throw fits. I get that. However, you should have some sort of control. You are the adult. They are the child. Your word is law. It doesn't matter if they think something is fair. They are A CHILD. This is not a democracy, it is a dictatorship. The order of authority goes like this: God -> Parent -> Child. They get to have an opinion when they can express it without yelling and screaming it.
4. Toys are a privilege, not a right.
5. If they don't like what you make, they don't have to eat it. However, you also don't need to make three different things trying to get them to eat. I promise that they will not starve if they miss one meal. And I guarantee you that they will eat when they get hungry enough.
6. Spanking is actually a completely acceptable form of punishment. I'd hold it in reserve for *really bad* behavior, like punching your brother and biting him completely out of the blue while he's watching SpongeBob. Sending them to their rooms, or sitting them in a corner also works. But you have to remember to take away the toys before you do it. See #4 for my feelings on toys.
7. Coddling your children does them no favors. When the five year old boy is playing on a scooter and he takes a little spill (wearing his helmet and everything) it is not the end of the world. You can take the time to walk over there calmly and ask him if he's hurt. He will show you his scrapes and you can either clean them if need be, or kiss them better. Whichever works for the degree of injury. But play them down! A low speed tumble that produces absolutely no blood and a barely visible roughing of the skin should not cause a five year old to start screaming like he's being axe murdered. Know why it does? Because you've *trained* him to react that way. Every bump is a life or death situation. He's not a hemophiliac. He's perfectly healthy except for that allergy to peanuts. He is not going to break.
8. No means no, dammit. See #3. Do not surrender to the crying. I repeat. You are the adult here.
Ahhh....that feels good. :) I was told by someone a long time ago that I was going to be a hardassed mom. It's entirely possible. Like she said, 'Amber's kids will be perfect. Or else.'
1. If your children cannot be separated from you for any period of time at all, there is something wrong. You are making them clingy.
2. At the ages of five and three, they should be sleeping in their own bloody rooms. Yes, kids will have nightmares or get sick and want to sleep with mommy and daddy. The exceptions are just fine. It's when the exceptions become the rule that you are in trouble. The fact that you've moved their toddler beds into *your* bedroom means that you are encouraging this behavior. This will bite you in the ass. It is already, you just don't realize it.
3. Kids will throw fits. I get that. However, you should have some sort of control. You are the adult. They are the child. Your word is law. It doesn't matter if they think something is fair. They are A CHILD. This is not a democracy, it is a dictatorship. The order of authority goes like this: God -> Parent -> Child. They get to have an opinion when they can express it without yelling and screaming it.
4. Toys are a privilege, not a right.
5. If they don't like what you make, they don't have to eat it. However, you also don't need to make three different things trying to get them to eat. I promise that they will not starve if they miss one meal. And I guarantee you that they will eat when they get hungry enough.
6. Spanking is actually a completely acceptable form of punishment. I'd hold it in reserve for *really bad* behavior, like punching your brother and biting him completely out of the blue while he's watching SpongeBob. Sending them to their rooms, or sitting them in a corner also works. But you have to remember to take away the toys before you do it. See #4 for my feelings on toys.
7. Coddling your children does them no favors. When the five year old boy is playing on a scooter and he takes a little spill (wearing his helmet and everything) it is not the end of the world. You can take the time to walk over there calmly and ask him if he's hurt. He will show you his scrapes and you can either clean them if need be, or kiss them better. Whichever works for the degree of injury. But play them down! A low speed tumble that produces absolutely no blood and a barely visible roughing of the skin should not cause a five year old to start screaming like he's being axe murdered. Know why it does? Because you've *trained* him to react that way. Every bump is a life or death situation. He's not a hemophiliac. He's perfectly healthy except for that allergy to peanuts. He is not going to break.
8. No means no, dammit. See #3. Do not surrender to the crying. I repeat. You are the adult here.
Ahhh....that feels good. :) I was told by someone a long time ago that I was going to be a hardassed mom. It's entirely possible. Like she said, 'Amber's kids will be perfect. Or else.'
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