All-American Muslim S1 Ep3 - A Muslim Goes to Washington

You know, so they're showing what happened last week and I can't get over how dismissive and unhelpful Shadia is of Jeff having trouble with his first Ramadan. I know that we don't get to see everything that happens, but her *hand wave* dismissal of him when he's trying not to be a jerk so he gets up from the dinner table is so rude...

Here's my impression of Shadia - she doesn't take her religion seriously so she doesn't expect anyone else to. However, because she also grew up doing certain things, like fasting during Ramadan, she doesn't have any thought to the difficulty of it for people who aren't used to it. She just strikes me as very thoughtless. I hope that's just the impression that the editing has given us and that she's really not that way.

Football...blah...blah...don't care...

I do like them having the flipped schedule, I think it's great that they thought enough about it to do that - I can imagine that they'd have kids collapsing if they had to do all their practicing without food or water.

Another thought: I don't know how many people have considered that the women are having to wear their hijab when they wouldn't normally have to. As in, in their homes. When their home, when no one but their family is there then they can (and I think usually do) take them off. So there's that added annoyance to the filming.

Nawal and Nader! I enjoyed seeing parts of the birthing class. Nader's face when the teacher says 'orgasmic birth' is priceless!

White House vs. training. I don't know enough about football but can't assistant coaches handle the training for one night?

Have we noticed that the show isn't focusing just on the women? Unlike some people who decided to judge the show after the first episode had commented? Yeah. *I've* noticed.

Okay, now they're talking about Nina's club: dancing and alcohol. Nina very clearly feels like an outside. She has this little squinty look she gets and I think she gets it when she thinks the others are judging her. I don't know that they're judging her. I'm trying not to jump to conclusions again.

Oh god, her skirt is so short....too short! Yes, you're pretty and you've got great legs. But your skirt ends about an inch below your butt. This is not necessary. *is horrified by her Jersey Shore vibes*

Right. If I was going to be forced to say of any person on the show, 'I don't like x' it would be Nina. It has *nothing* to do with her being Muslim - I don't like the impression that she gives off and I don't think I'd want to spend time with her.

Really? Did Sahida really just ask if Obama was a Muslim? Please tell me she was being funny...Cripes. Bilal. 'Barak. Husein. Obama. I'm saying yes.' Everyone: 'It's just a name!' *eye twitch*

I have to say, I do appreciate Fouad's dedication to his job. How many people would really hesitate to accept an invitation to the White House because of practice? That being said, I think he should go. Sort of a once in a lifetime thing, you know?

Oh...and the preview makes it look like we get to see the Amen family being all judgy of convert Jeff. Let's wait and see...seriously Bilal, you're not that far behind Nina in my 'I don't like you' poll.

More discussion about converting, how you can't *ask* someone to convert it has to be something they want to do and the discussion about how Islam is Islam and you can't change it to fit your life. Which is, as we've said, both true and not true. There's also the discussion about God's Mercy and messing up. How you can't take advantage of the mercy by intentionally doing something wrong while thinking, oh, well, God'll forgive me so it doesn't matter. People in Christianity (and probably all religions) think that way too. It doesn't work that way!

For Bilal, scarf = more respect. Not so!

Ack! Crap. Shadia, you moron! Look, just saying that 'he converted to marry me' or 'he wasn't raised around it' is not going to endear him to your family and make them forget that he's not fasting. Look, I agree that Bilal can be a tool. BUT. I agree with him and with Suehaila. If Jeff converted just to marry you it wasn't for the right reasons.

That being said, I'm still lobbying for my idea to treat converts as children! Let them ease into things like the Ramadan fast. That doesn't mean them ignoring it but, with the right intentions, working their way up to the full fast. It is hard! They need to stretch and train up for it.

Of course Fouad is going to D.C. Good for him! Awww...the kids are so sweet...

Back to Samira and her hijab quest...I do hope that Samira eventually manages to get pregnant because she wants to so badly and I kind of think she'd be an awesome mom but I don't think it will be because she put on the hijab.

Oh, hell. The brother-in-law talk about religion...

I do see Bilal's point of how now Jeff is a part of the Muslim tradition and how his actions reflect on other Muslims and vice versa. It's not fair that a convert's actions are more deeply scrutinised than a 'born' Muslim but that's not unique to Islam.

*ponders* I still have my doubts about Jeff's conversion. Not that he's not sincere because I have no way of judging that, but his readiness for it. I think he rushed because he wanted to marry Shadia. Whom I'm liking less and less.

So the 'dislike' column goes thusly: Nina, Bilal, Shadia.

Heh. Nader has no idea what to do with babies...

'Uhhh...your baby's crying...' Run Away!

I have to say the tradition of saying the adhan to the baby when they're born is very nice. Can we institute that for Christianity? What would we use?

*laughs at Fouad* Yes, there are Muslims outside of Dearborn.

Baby? Who do they have in the house doing the 'home video' filming?

God, they're so sweet! For the record, and no one take this wrong, but I would marry Nader. Or someone like Nader. He seems so wonderful. She's maybe in labor, in pain and he doesn't know what to do, they're waiting for her to decide whether or not to go to the hospital and he's praying on/at her belly/for the baby! *hugs them*

Nawal really doesn't want to go to the hospital on a 'false alarm'. I get that but wow, how scary must that be? Pregnant, not knowing if the baby is coming or what's going on...

I'm currently happy not to have this problem...

She called her mom! Who told her to go to the hospital. Good call! Go Nawal's mom!

Nader looks so scared...they won't let him into the room with Nawal.

Finally, she wants the camera off! I wouldn't want my labor being filmed either!

All-American Muslim S1 Ep 2 - The Fast and the Furious

Because *everyone* has to have an episode titled after those movies if they can. It's actually a law. I swear. Don't believe me? Well, okay. Maybe not so much as law as a suggestion... :)

According to the summary this is supposed to be focussed on Fouad and the football team. How they have to adjust the schedule to deal with Ramadan.

Jeff's shahada...I actually made a note to come back to this after the show was over. So. The shahada is basically a profession of faith. It's not like a magic phrase where you say it and *zap* Muslim. It's something that, to my mind, you say when you've already become a Muslim in your heart. They mentioned on the last show that you could say it to yourself, but I was always under the impression that there needed to be Muslim witnesses.

Anyway. The shahada is really simple:

لا إله إلا الله محمد رسول الله

lā ʾilāha ʾillallāh, Muḥammad rasūlu-llāh

There is no god but God, and Muhammad is the messenger of God.

Monotheists have no problem with the first half, it's the second one that causes the issues.

The Shi'a shahada is a little different, I believe. They have an additional phrase referencing Ali, naming him the friend of God, or the successor of Mohammed as it were. 


Wee! Okay, I know nothing about football, but watching the boys skirmish is entertaining. That one kid who caught the ball ran really fast, I think. Very impressive.

So in order to deal with Ramadan they've changed the practice schedule to be at night. They'll be practising from 10 pm until 5 am. which seems like a really good idea. I think we all know, but just in case: for Ramadan Muslims are asked (with exceptions for health, etc.) to fast from sunrise to sunset. No food or water at all which is more severe than the fast that anyone else I'm aware of keeps. Apart from some monks, religious. Theirs could be more intense, I'm not sure.

Okay, so Nawal is a respiratory therapist. Good to know.

Is that hostess really ignoring them or is it just the line? I'm rewatching to pay more attention to the people in front of them. The two women were there first and the one man...he's still there in front of them in line...

Ugh. I can't tell. The hostess tossing the menus on the table and then walking away was really incredibly rude, no doubt. They definitely don't do that in the restaurants around here. It's improper behaviour.

ETA: I had another thought about the hostess being rude at the table: maybe she didn't like being on camera?

Ah! So Nader is a federal agent. I like finding out what they do! Don't ask me why.

I have heard/noticed that pregnancy changes people. All those hormones, you know.

Samira (medical receptionist) Fawaz is Sahida's sister. Oh, that's got to hurt, I think. She works in an ObGyn office and she's having trouble getting pregnant.

I thought the issue with adoption was that they (in Mohammed's time) didn't want the children to lose their family connections, name, etc. Not that it was difficult for the child to be...I think the word the used was hallala (halal?) or 'permitted'. I've never heard that used in that way before. 'Halal' has always been, in my limited experience, just the way to describe what is allowed and what is not. So...like drinking ice tea = halal. Drinking a Long Island Ice Tea = haram. Because of the alcohol. I thought that the only issue with people was whether or not they were mahram. So I guess I could see a kind of issue there, but really are there that many men out there who are wanting to marry little girls that they've raised as their own daughters? I think not.

And apart from that, if you've taken the child as your own family and are standing as 'blood' then why can't it be taken as being mahram. When I was considering converting to Islam I asked whether or not my step-father would be mahram (basically concerned with whether or not I'd have to wear hijab essentially 24/7 since we live in the same house) and I was told that they'd consider him mahram since he's married to my mother. No, wait, I think I answered my own question. There's a prohibition against marrying the daughter or a woman you're married to, isn't there? I think there is but I'm too lazy to look it up. Anyway. I find their choice of word strange, whether or not adoption is allowed. Maybe they were just simplifying the wordage for tv?

Oh god, Sahida is such a redneck.

'a big part of it is your belief and your relationship with God' - True. But if you're not following basic rules, is there the possibility that there is a lack of belief? I'm not thinking of their hijab, but alcohol. They were specifically talking about drinking or being in places where alcohol is served. I don't know that Nina drinks (I'm sure that Nawal doesn't) so I'm not saying that. Just wondering.

Okay, so on to Samira's visit with the sheikhs about the infertility issue.

I have to say I really enjoy listening to the Arabic. Don't understand a word, but it's pretty. Like French. Not that they sound alike, but they both strike me as very 'flowing'.

Moving on...

So Samira asks if it would be okay to get invitro using another man's sperm. The sheikh  says it wouldn't be a problem if they used her husband's sperm but that it's prohibited for it to be another man's sperm. Which I get, not that it makes it any easier on the people having the trouble.

Now, Samira asks if her wearing hijab would be of any help in them trying to get pregnant. I like that the sheikh points out that there's no connection between getting pregnant and wearing hijab. He does lay out that wearing hijab brings more blessings into your life, 'God will cooperate more with you, you will have more good things in your life'. Which I don't like so much.

If you have the right faith and are keeping the core of Islam, which I see as faith in God, prayers and charity then what difference does the cloth make?

They already have a grandchild! Adam! Sahida's son. Hello!

'I think women are greater than men.'

'Islamically, they are.'

Really? How so? I'm not being sarcastic, I really don't get that. I thought the key was equality. That men and women were equal, yet different.

Blah, blah, Sahida and the country fest...

Football!

I'd be concerned about the night practices too. When's the kid supposed to sleep? And the parents have to get up and drive him there, etc...

'Is that because of their religious beliefs?' - Yeah. Duh.

Nawal always looks so nice...

Her mom wants her to come live with her after she has the baby? No...bad idea. Bad. So the mothers used to stay in bed for 40 days after giving birth, not leaving the house? No. I'd go nuts.

Jeff's first Ramadan? I have to admit that I'm getting more and more the impression that Jeff didn't really...test drive the religion first. Which makes me unhappy. I think it's important to know what you're getting into. And I'm not sure Jeff did.

Okay, I have serious scarf envy right now. I *know* that this is a very important personal choice for Samira and I hope that it brings her something she needs whether or not they succeed it getting pregnant. But seriously. I would move to Dearborn for the scarves. Okay? I have hijab envy and I won't lie.

I like Nawal more and more. I think I jumped to conclusions about her before, calling her judgy. In one of the couch sessions they're talking about the hijab and Nawal says that basically, who is she to go to Angela or Nina and tell them they're not being good Muslims because they're not wearing the hijab. She may *think* that they should be hijabi, but I do like that she has the sense that it's not her job to police their religion.

Bilal doesn't seem to have that sense. Nader is so cute!

Seriously, why do these crazy people think they're doing anything good by going and harassing Muslims? Or anyone really, but since this is a show about Muslims. 'Mohammed is a pedophile!' Really? You think that's going to bring people about to your point of view? No. Not even accurate in the first place and extremely insulting. Unhelpful.

Huh. I never thought about crowd control for taraweh. Pretty mosque...

Okay, not to be insulting (which is what you say before you say something insulting...), but Bilal, honey, you could fast for a while and live off of stored food. And I say that as a person who is unnecessarily heavy (new code for fat!). So I think it's a bit different for Jeff who is about as big around as a stick.

Also, the football players? Are crazy. I mean that's dedication. Football in the middle of the night, after fasting all day, low on sleep. It's got to be hard.

I wonder if, for your first Ramadan you could ease into it. Don't children do that? When they decide that they want to do what Mommy and Daddy do and fast, they fast until they decide not to any more? Eventually they hit adulthood and start to fast all through Ramadan? Can't we treat converts like kids for a while?

I do like the attitude that they shouldn't care whether or not others are fasting. It's a personal thing, right?

Samira's putting on the hijab and taking down all the photos of her without hijab. Which does make a certain amount of sense. I'm not sure about her focus on thinking that putting on the hijab will somehow convince God that he should give her a child. I think if she still doesn't get pregnant that it's going to be a big problem for her.

See, I still love Mohsen.

All-American Muslim - Ep 1

So the plan is to do a sort of running commentary on this show as it airs. This first post is a bit late since I didn't decide to do this until Monday morning.

First things first: this is a show on TLC following five Muslim families living in Dearborn, MI. I didn't realize it on my first watching but all of the families featured are Shi'a which is not the 'most common' branch of Islam. When people think of Islam, if they're aware that there are sects within it at all they think of Sunni.

it starts with some of the people sitting talking on couches. They're arguing about whether or not a Muslim man can marry a non-Muslim woman. The two men say that they can but one of the women, who is the judgy one, says that 'for the actual ritual of marriage both parties have to be Muslim'.

I like Shadia (Amen). She's very much herself, if that makes any sense. She's engaged to an Irish Catholic man (Jeff) who converts to Islam during this show. And she has a 10 year old son from her previous marriage.

Her parents were less than thrilled with her dating since that's typically frowned on in Islam.

The thing I like about Shadia and Jeff is that they seem to be willing to do whatever to be together. It's not about Catholic or Muslim but being with one another.

Okay. Then we get Nader & Nawal Aoude. They've been married for 10 months and she's getting ready to have their first child. And his sense of humor is adorable, I think. Like in the first meeting she says that she wants to have the baby at 38 weeks and he's laughing, asking if she's going to be sending the baby an email to tell it it's time.

Shadia has one brother and two sisters, none of whom appear to be married. I read a review that said that Shadia's father came off as a hidebound old Muslim who couldn't bend from the need to see his daughter only marrying a Muslim. I can see it, but I don't think he came off as crazy harsh. Shadia herself said that she wanted to only marry a Muslim. So it's not just something coming from her father.

It is important to him, but it's not unreasonable. If you're truly dedicated to your religion and it says that it is only proper to marry another member of that religion then it wouldn't sit easily if one of your children married out of the faith. It's no different from Catholics only marrying Catholics, etc. Christianity has (for the most part) drifted from that hard line but it's still there, trust me. I had that mentality myself, back in the day.

'There's been death and wars. People kill because of women.'

'No- Not- It wasn't because of the woman, it was because of the moron who started the war, which was a guy.'

Right, Nina Bazzy. I kind of like her personality, but I have to be honest that I can't stand the way she dresses. It reminds me of the kids on Jersey Shore. But that's a personal issue that doesn't really reflect on her personality, religion, etc. I just don't like her clothes! She's married and has a young son who is adorable! She works as a party planner and wants to open up a club. Her business partner doesn't think it's a good idea because she's a woman and clubs and women (running them) don't go together.

He keeps mentioning that 'you're a girl' and that she has other responsibilities. Like her family. *rolls eyes* But I do like Nina - because she keeps being told that she shouldn't do something it makes her want to do it more.

Another couch session: they're talking about converting to Islam. Now, all of the people on this show with the exception of Jeff are born Muslims. There's a whole thing about converting and people not understanding that Islam is a religion and that you have to follow it and not 'adapt it to fit your life' which I think is bull. Yes, you have to adapt to the religion, but if Islam isn't adaptable to modern life then it's sort of pointless, isn't it? There's a middle ground somewhere in there.

Anyway. Nina makes this comment about how if you're going to convert then 'you have to do it right' and Judgy Woman (who is one of Shadia's sisters, actually) says, 'How do you expect people to convert and expect them, because they're converts to be perfect, to try and be perfect-'

And then Nina interjects and says there's no such thing and one of the other women says they should at least know what they're getting into.

Then Judgy Woman says: 'Like Nina just said, if you're going to convert, you have to do it right, but what about the people who were born into it, they don't have to do it right?'

And I actually get her point, maybe. Nina is not a 'proper' Muslimah, is such a thing exists. She doesn't wear hijab, she works with men, she wants to run a club, etc. Things that, from the looks that were passed around in that couch session were indicative of her not living the kind of Islamic life that she would expect from a convert.

Then there's a little scene with Jeff and Shadia's father (Mohsen) about whether or not Jeff's really thought about what he's doing, converting to Islam. And that Mohsen doesn't want Jeff to feel pressured to have to convert. 'You do it from yourself'. See, that's part of why I can't see what that article was talking about. He seems like such a sweet guy! He even practiced the shahada with Jeff to help him get the pronunciation right!

Fouad and Zaynab Zaban have been married for 12 years. See, when I first watched this I somehow got the impression that the parents required their daughters to start wearing hijab at 9, which I had a problem with. On the second watching Fouad is just saying that they started wearing it around 9 which leaves it more open to it being the daughters' desire. You could argue that the daughters were influenced, but what children aren't influenced by their parents and their peers?

Fouad is the high school football coach and he has the mouth of a sailor on the field, fyi. It's interesting to hear him having to work out the problem of how to train and play football during Ramadan since all the players will be fasting.

Jeff's family - his mother has a problem with him converting to Islam. Not enough to not attend the wedding or anything, but you can see that it hurts her. She starts out trying to play it off as it being okay, but she breaks down and cries about it later on and winds up not attending the conversion.

Angela and Mike Jaafar may be my favorite couple. They were high school sweethearts who've been married for 11 years. They have four kids, 2 girls and 2 boys. Mike is a Deputy Chief for the sheriff department. And their kids are so cute it hurts! Angela also works as a liaison for an auto manufacturer.

I don't like how TLC cuts their teasers before the commercial break. For instance, they make it look like Jeff has cold feet right at the moment of saying his shahada. However, having seen the show I know that that's not what happens at all. Very misleading.

Shadia's brother: 'I've got an announcement to make. Me and Jeff were outside talking. Jeff's decided that we're converting to Judaism. But I brought him back to Buddhism and then we worked on Islam. I had to pay him a couple hundred, so he's going to covert.' *lol*

One thing Shadia says is that you can convert by saying the shahada by yourself. I was always under the impression that you needed Muslim witnesses to make it 'official'.

The Imam's little flub using the wrong sisters name is funny. Suehaila is, I think, older than Shadia and there's apparently a running thing about trying to find her a husband.

I did find it interesting that, from what part of the ceremony they showed the same questions are asked of both the female and the male.

I'm liking more and more the tradition of the woman keeping her name when she marries, fyi. I know that most of the couples on this show have the same last name, but that's just an aside. Of course I'd still take my husband's name because I hate my own - it's the name of my asshat adoptive father. And I'm not going back to my bio dad's name because he was also an asshat. Men. *sigh*

I love the hijabs on this show. How come the hijab never looked as lovely on me when I wore it?

Oh! Oh, crap. I just realized that Judgy Woman is Nawal. Crap. I think it's because she's pregnant during the show but not pregnant in the couch sessions. So they must have been filmed later. I *thought* Nawal and Judgy Woman looked a lot alike! Ooops!

The reception for Jeff and Shadia is very pretty and it's an interesting mix of Jeff's Catholic family and the Lebanese Muslim family of Shadia. Jeff's cousin does a traditional Irish dance which is always neat to watch and then Shadia's family hired a belly dancer.

Judgy-Nawal likens belly dancers to strippers, which I think is rude and excessive. And not at all accurate. The dancer they had wasn't wearing the traditional 'harem girl' kind of outfit, but something loose and flowing. Also, some of the Muslim side of the wedding were making fun of Jeff's male family members for getting too into the belly dancer routine. I didn't see the leering that they saw, but we only get bits and pieces, so maybe it happened off camera for us.