Tim Drake is a gift to humanity and I will fight you over this

Alright, so I was going to do a post about something important, like my realizations about how some things are intrinsically evil, but now I'm going to talk about comics.

Because there's a rumor going around that DC comics is going to kill off my favorite Robin and I'm bracing myself for it with tomorrow's comics delivery. And maybe they won't, and heck, the original Tim Drake has been gone for like...three reboots? But Tim is my favorite, I grew up with him as Robin and I may riot. I don't know.

And then there's this piece of goodness:



*grabs everyone and shakes them*

THIS CHILD IS MAKING TIM DRAKE'S STORY FOR REAL AND HE IS GLORIOUS

GIVE ME THIS, UNIVERSE. GIVE ME TIM DRAKE IN THE DCEU.

I know people complain about Robin not being a hero in his own right but these people are wrong in all their life choices and I will fight them.

Give me my small, genius child in live action. Give me Nightwing. Heck, give me Red Hood (though explaining all of that would probably be awkward). Give me Damian, though again, that would require a LOT of explanation and some reworking of the al Ghul's.

But most of all, GIVE ME TIM DRAKE. Give me THIS Tim Drake.

Also, bts video because I can:



And eventually I'll make the post about intrinsic evils.

Possibly after my period of mourning.

Wed ETA: Jesus, DC, what are you DOING?

You're going to make me buy comics on a regular basis again, aren't you? AREN'T YOU?

Oh, hey, it's March. How'd that happen?

I suck at posting on anything like a reliable schedule.

I think we should all embrace reality and accept this.

By 'we' I mostly mean me since I'm the one with delusions of responsibility.

I am assuming that you all don't want to listen to me talk about the gorgeous cinematography in Hannibal (or my fangirl squeeing about Mads Mikkelson and how I should probably not find a serial killing cannibal so fascinating even if he is a fictional character) or how Non-Stop (the movie I saw today) was basically a locked room murder mystery but how it was nice to see the one Muslim Arab character *not* be the bad guy or in any way connected.

So I'll be back when I have something interesting to say.

Hopefully soon.

Captain America: Winter Soldier concept art

Once again, possible spoilers contained herein.

Though (again) your spoiler free bunker must be very nice if you don't know this stuff. It's not a secret. Really.

Here, have a puppy:

This is a Shiba Inu puppy. The cutest, fluffiest, best kind of dog around. This is the breed that my dog Baby is. Only this is not a picture of Baby. Baby is white and full grown and still the best dog ever, but less cute and more handsome devil of a dog. God I miss having a puppy.

Right.

The sequel to Captain America is titled Captain America: Winter Solider.

For anyone who knows anything about Marvel comics canon, we know what this means.

We know who the Winter Soldier is, and we're all chomping at the bit for this. We want it. We've wanted it since Sebastian Stan was cast to play Bucky Barnes.

Because. Well.

Sebastian Stan. Really.

With Chris Evans.

Where's a drooling smiley when you need it...

Yes, this is the only picture I could find of him.

I swear.

O.O <= This is my innocent look.

Right.

Winter Soldier.

I know that the MCU has to redesign some of the costumes to make them a little less comic book crazy, but let's look at the Winter Soldier's original costume:

Fairly realistic, not really brightly colored or skin tight spandex or anything like that.

Now let's look at one of the pieces of concept art that's been released for the CA: Winter Soldier film:

What the fuck is that mask? Seriously. What? I just...I don't even know. It looks stupid.

There. I said it.

I understand that the idea is (probably) to make it believable that Steve won't recognize Bucky right away, but you're telling me that this seemed like a good way to do that? Rather than using, I don't know, Bucky's canonical assassin/spy skills to keep Steve from getting a good look until the final show down?

The second bit of art is better, but I can see that he still has that stupid mouth-mask on.

Bionic arm! :D

And yes, the fangirling is going to go on forever.

You've been warned.

One month until IM3.

*throws confetti*

*mad giggling*

Iron Man 3 spoilers ahoy!

Seriously, if you're the kind of person who doesn't like even the smallest thing spoiled, look away.

Though, to be honest, I don't understand how that works.

When it gets close to the time of the movie release, do you disconnect from the net?

Do you crawl into a spoiler proof bunker?

Because even the *toys* are full of spoilers lately.

Though we're not going to talk about the Halloween costume I've seen based on this, because UGH.

And here, a nice picture of a bunny so the vid isn't the first thing to show up on a reader:

Cute bunny doesn't understand how you live spoiler free either. She respects you, but she doesn't understand.

And now:




*cackles*

Pepper!!!!!!!!!!!!

Iron Pep!

*descends into squeaking noises of glee*

I'll just be...over here.

In my bunk.

That Uncomfortable Moment When You Realize You're Javert

FAIR WARNING: If you are one of the two people on the planet who has *never* seen or heard about the plot of Les Miserables (movies, musical or novel), then this post will contain spoilers. Go see/read one of the multiple options and then come back. Or be spoiled a little. Your choice.

ETA: Susanne linked me to a very good article about the two viewpoints of Christianity that are presented in Les Miserables here.

Also, TW for the movie/musical/book: death, prostitution, violence and suicide.

I've see the new Les Miserables twice, fyi. It's fabulous and you should all go see it if and when you get the chance. It's about 2 1/2 hours long, true, but it's worth carving that time out of your schedule, trust me.

Never before have I been in a movie and heard the entire theater trying to cry quietly.

I really want to buy the 'highlights' soundtrack so I can play it on endless repeat in my car, but so far I've resisted. One of my goals this year is to be more fiscally responsible. *sets face in responsible, adult lines* We'll see how long that lasts. But my mind has been replaying bits and pieces of the music that I can remember all week. And one of the songs that sticks out is The Confrontation, which is an encounter between Valjean and Javert at Fantine's death bed.

Lyrics from here:

[JAVERT]

Valjean, at last,

We see each other plain

`M'sieur le Mayor,'

You'll wear a different chain!

[VALJEAN]

Before you say another word, Javert

Before you chain me up like a slave again

Listen to me! There is something I must do.

This woman leaves behind a suffering child.

There is none but me who can intercede,

In Mercy's name, three days are all I need.

Then I'll return, I pledge my word.

Then I'll return...

[JAVERT]

You must think me mad!

I've hunted you across the years

A man like you can never change

A man such as you.

[VALJEAN (in counterpoint)]

Believe of me what you will

There is a duty that I'm sworn to do

You know nothing of my life

All I did was steal some bread

You know nothing of the world

You would sooner see me dead

But not before I see this justice

done

I am warning you Javert

I'm a stronger man by far

There is power in me yet

My race is not yet run

I am warning you Javert

There is nothing I won't dare

If I have to kill you here

I'll do what must be done!

[JAVERT (in counterpoint)]

Men like me can never change

Men like you can never change

No,

24601

My duty's to the law - you have no

Rights

Come with me 24601

Now the wheel has turned around

Jean Valjean is nothing now

Dare you talk to me of crime

And the price you had to pay

Every man is born in sin

Every man must choose his way

You know nothing of Javert

I was born inside a jail

I was born with scum like you

I am from the gutter too!

[Valjean breaks a chair and threatens Javert with the broken piece.

Turns to Fantine]

[VALJEAN]

[to Fantine] And this I swear to you tonight

[JAVERT]

[to Valjean] There is no place for you to hide

[VALJEAN]

Your child will live within my care

[JAVERT]

Wherever you may hide away

[VALJEAN]

And I will raise her to the light.

[VALJEAN AND JAVERT]

I swear to you, I will be there!

[They fight, Javert is knocked out. Valjean escapes]

And also Javert's Soliloquy from near the end:

JAVERT

Who is this man?

What sort of devil is he?

To have me caught in a trap

And choose to let me go free?

It was his hour at last

To put a seal on my fate,

Wipe out the past,

And wash me clean off the slate.

All it would take was a flick of his knife.

Vengeance was his and he gave me back my life!

Damned if I'll live in the debt of a thief

Damned if I'll yield at the end of the chase

I am the Law and the Law is not mocked

I'll spit his pity right back in his face

There is nothing on earth that we share

It is either Valjean or Javert!

How can I now allow this man

To hold dominion over me?

This desperate man that I have hunted

He gave me my life. He gave me freedom.

I should have perished by his hand

It was his right.

I was my right to die as well.

Instead I live -- but live in hell.

And my thoughts fly apart.

Can this man be believed?

Shall his sins be forgiven?

Shall his crimes be reprieved?

And must I now begin to doubt,

Who never doubted all those years?

My heart is stone and still it trembles.

The world I have known is lost in shadow.

Is he from heaven or from hell?

And does he know

That, granting me my life today,

This man has killed me even so?

I am reaching but I fall

And the stars are black and cold

As I stare into the void

Of a world that cannot hold

I'll escape now from that world

From the world of Jean Valjean.

There is nowhere I can turn

There is no way to go on...

Here's the thing about Javert: he's the 'villain' as much as there is one, but he's *not* a villain. He's not a bad guy. He just sees the world in very, extremely black and white terms. Valjean stole once, he was condemned as a criminal and that's that. He will never be able to change. Nothing good can come from such bad soil. Which, as we know, is not true. Valjean does change and does become a good man. Javert can't see that though, not until the end and then it shatters his world.

And let me just digress for a second to mention how both soliloquies, Valjean's near the beginning and Javert's near the end are done to the same tune because they're both have the same sort of reality changing realization that the way they live, the way the think the world works is not the only way. But Valjean rises from his despair, from his darkest point and makes himself into the good man that he could always have been and Javert...well. He doesn't rise.

Wait, wait, here: Here's Valjean's soliloquy:

[VALJEAN]

What have I done?

Sweet Jesus, what have I done?

Become a thief in the night,

Become a dog on the run

And have I fallen so far,

And is the hour so late

That nothing remains but the cry of my hate,

The cries in the dark that nobody hears,

Here where I stand at the turning of the years?

If there's another way to go

I missed it twenty long years ago

My life was a war that could never be won

They gave me a number and murdered Valjean

When they chained me and left me for dead

Just for stealing a mouthful of bread

Yet why did I allow that man

To touch my soul and teach me love?

He treated me like any other

He gave me his trust

He called me brother

My life he claims for God above

Can such things be?

For I had come to hate the world

This world that always hated me

Take an eye for an eye!

Turn your heart into stone!

This is all I have lived for!

This is all I have known!

One word from him and I'd be back

Beneath the lash, upon the rack

Instead he offers me my freedom

I feel my shame inside me like a knife

He told me that I have a soul,

How does he know?

What spirit comes to move my life?

Is there another way to go?

I am reaching, but I fall

And the night is closing in

And I stare into the void

To the whirlpool of my sin

I'll escape now from the world

From the world of Jean Valjean

Jean Valjean is nothing now

Another story must begin!

[He tears up his yellow ticket-of-leave]

[Constables leave. The bishop addresses Valjean]

But remember this, my brother

See in this some higher plan

You must use this precious silver

To become an honest man

By the witness of the martyrs

By the Passion and the Blood

God has raised you out of darkness

I have bought your soul for God!

Yeah. So. *leaves that there*

Good god people, SEE THIS MOVIE!!!

Wolverine commands you.

*ACHEM*

Where was I?

Right. At the end of my speech class (which I got an A in, by the way), we had to do group projects. Let me digress, again, for a second and say that I HATE GROUP PROJECTS! There's always at least one person who cannot, will not, get their shit together and do their work. I'd rather have to do a big project all by myself than work with a group, no lie.

So. One of the other groups did a speech about how we should have mandatory AA and NA in prisons, so that people won't re-offend (or have less of a chance of re-offending) than they do now when their addictions are left untreated. There's always (in this class) a question and answer time after speeches, so that people can get any opinions out or ask for clarification or whatever. And I argued with the people in the group about the premise of their speech because I don't believe that their idea would do any good.

Do AA and NA help? I'm sure they do. I've heard plenty of recovery stories and I have no doubt that if the person is willing to participate and deal with their problem that these programs do a lot of good. But the people have to be ready, in themselves, to embrace the program. Forcing them into it is, to my mind, like my Christian school forcing me into Bible study classes. I sat there and ripped the lessons apart and got nothing from the class. It wasn't until I was ready that I got anything out of learning about the Bible.

Sounds reasonable, right? You can disagree with me (they did, trust me), but it's not an unreasonable position to take, I think. But what I didn't recognize until just recently, while listening to the Confrontation over and over in my head, is that part of why I dismissed their idea so out of hand was that I don't believe addicts can ever change. And I can sit here and tell you why, that it's left over scarring from my childhood and my step-father and the many times that he said he would change, that he was better and he never was, but that's not the point. The point is, I'm fucking Javert here. (And not in the good way!)

I'm just going to leave this here for you. Enjoy.

I'm not willing to give these people, who are not my step-father, a chance. In spite of evidence that they can and have changed the way they live their lives.

I always had trouble with the 'forgive our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us' part of the Lord's Prayer too. I'm a vengeful person apparently.

And I don't like that about myself.

And Then I Decided to Have This Conversation

Mostly in my head, but whatever.

So.

In The Avengers, there is a scene where Thor has just flown in and Loki-napped his brother out of the Quinjet. Iron Man has already flown off to try and get Loki back and Captain America is about to jump out of the plane (with a parachute) to get in on the fight as well. Black Widow tells him to stay about of it:

Black Widow: "You better sit this one out, Cap. They're from Norse legends! They're basically gods!"

Captain America: "There's only one God, ma'am. And I'm pretty sure he doesn't dress like that!" *and then he jumps*

So. a) There is nothing wrong with the way Loki and Thor dress. Let he who is not wearing a spangly outfit cast the first stone Steve. Yeah.

b) I know a lot of people (okay, fannish people so you non-fannish have no idea what I'm talking about) were surprised at this line because of Joss Whedon's public atheism. Well as the man himself said in the commentary (and trust me, Joss Whedon should make commentaries on every movie, ever. Even the ones he had nothing to do with.) *he's* an atheist but Cap isn't.

c) People take this as hey, proof that Captain America's a Christian!

What I'm addressing is point 'c'. Here's how this all happened: I commented to Heather, once upon a time, that I was considering writing a fanfic (for the uninitiated amongst you a fanfic is a story that is written by a fan of a certain movie/book/tv show/etc. about the characters and/or events/universe. No money is made and it's purely for the love of the characters. Please, for your sanity, do not go Googling fanfic. There's...it's a whole world that the non fen will not understand. I will not be responsible for any brains broken if you disregard my warning.) based on this quote and the idea that Captain America a/k/a Steve Rogers, rather than being a Christian was a Muslim. The fic has never materialised because um...I have been busy writing other things.

Then, Heather comments on a FB post with this meme:

And makes reference to the whole Steve Rogers as a Muslim idea. Of course it's been poohpoohed in a couple of the comments that he can't have been a Muslim. Once, which I totally don't understand, was that he can't have been Muslim because he was frozen in ice for a long time.

Um. Okay? Sure.

I maintain that it is entirely possible for MCU Steve Rogers to be a Muslim and I shall tell you why.

1. Arguments that comics-verse Steve Rogers in a Christian are not valid in my opinion because MCU is *not* 616 or Ultimates or any other comics canon that we've been presented. It is it's own universe with it's own history and canon. We already know that MCU's events are not the same as comics.

2. All we know from Cap's statement is that he is a monotheist. 'One God'. Period. Until such time as he is shown going to a church or a synagogue or a mosque and worshipping there, or he details his beliefs in some other way that's all the clue we have. He's a monotheist.

3. Steve Rogers grew up in Brooklyn in the 1920's and 30's. He was old enough to join the Army when America joined WWII but was rejected due to having every ailment and disease known to man. This would be in 1941.

4. The first mosque built in New York is believed to have been one belonging to the American Mohammedan Society. It was built on Powers Street in Brooklyn in 1907.

5. The Islamic Mission of America built their own mosque, in Brooklyn, in 1939. They purchased a brownstone in 1947 that remains the Masjid Daoud today. In Brooklyn.

6. But Amber, I can hear you saying, the Muslims in these mosques were all African American or Middle Eastern immigrants or...*waves hands* whatever. They weren't *white*. White people didn't start start converting to Islam until fairly recently. Unto you I say, well, bah. The first 'prominent' Anglo-American convert to Islam is (by many historians - they're not doubting his conversion, just whether he was the 'first' prominent individual or not) Alexander Russell Webb. Who converted in 1888. Now he encountered it in the Philippines where he was the American ambassador but my point remains: just because they weren't the majority of the population doesn't mean that there weren't white converts to Islam long before the rest of the country or the world decided to take notice of them.

7. Amber, Amber, what is your point again?

My point, if you want to call it that, is this: There is *nothing* that prevents me from imagining that Captain America is a Muslim. Nothing. It's even plausible from a historical standpoint. 

I've seen this portrait of what a 'good' Muslim looks like, as far as characteristics go - I believe it comes from Mohammed's final sermon, but I could be wrong about this. You know what it says?

They are known for doing only lawful and righteous deeds. They have good morals and treat other people with respect. They are pure of heart - they neither hate other people nor are hypocrites. They are charitable, whether that's monetarily or in time given or whatever each individual can do. They are offensive to no one, they do no harm to others and they respect other peoples' rights.

You know one person (fictional) that all reminds me of?

Captain America. That's who.

The Project has been chosen! no thanks to you lot...

Because you all are *terribly unhelpful* I flipped a coin. :p

Possibly I should have made sure to spell out in the last post that I intend to go through both books I was just trying to figure out which one to do first. That might have made you guys more helpful. :)

So I flipped a coin and the Qur'an it is.

I have my last class of the semester tomorrow night and I need to finish up my speech and project for that tonight. Because honestly the class is a) not that hard b) not that engaging and c) I'm a procrastinator from the old school. So my plan is to start reading Tuesday night or so, depending on how long the last class is.

Now to think up a tag for the project...*hates naming things*

Also, you may have noticed a change in background.

Welcome to Rivendell.

The Hobbit comes out on December 14th. I'll be attending the midnight premier and playing myself as a zombie during the work day on Friday.

After that we will likely switch to Les Miserables for a theme, unless I'm having really very intense Hobbit based fangirl feels. Which, let's be honest, is likely.

You're welcome.

Day 29: So close. So close.

We're almost at the end and I literally am having too many thoughts and feelings about too many things to pick one to write about.

I'm in the middle of intense Cold Days fangirling feels (I'm totally renaming the Dresden Files to the Dresden Feels in my head, thank you very much).

Anticipating both Hobbit and Les Mis feels of intensity.

Writing out my The Dark Knight Rises feels.

Watching history shows that basically end like this: and then the Muslims came along and invented all the cool stuff. The end. Also algebra. So that kind of balances it all out.

No. Seriously. A Muslim physician came up with an idea for human flight before Da Vinci. You don't learn about that stuff in school, do you? Nope.

I want to start like a book club but I have no way to organize it and I think I'd read too fast for everyone.

I want to reread the Dresden Feels and plot everything out in a chart or something and See the Meaning of the Universe.

Somewhere outside my window something is making goat noises.

I'm not going to look. Nope nope nope.

Day 24.5: I will need to bring a box of tissues and hide in the theater until the red goes away

Director Tom Hooper on yesterday’s first screening of Les Mis: ”Towards the end of this film today this weird thing happened like a rustling kind of sound. For a minute I freaked out wondering what’s that odd sound on the soundtrack? I looked around and realized it’s the sound of people crying en masse.”

My feels: this movie will be right in them.

First The Hobbit and then Les Mis.

I'm not going to survive December.

I'm going to be dead of excessive fangirl feels.

Day 18: It's like interpretive dance, only without the dancing

I didn't make it to the movies this weekend. My regular movie buddy is coming off of a cold and I don't like going by myself. It's not as much fun.

So I just went to the gym and then got my hair cut. I dyed it too, myself, not at the salon and is it just me or does everyone's bathroom wind up looking like a murder scene after they dye their hair red?

Just me?

Yeah.

Anyway. It's nearly ten, so I decided to do my ten favorite movies. More or less.

In no particular order:

1. The Princess Bride
2. Alien
3. Aliens
4. The Lord of the Rings trilogy
5. Nolan-verse Batman trilogy
6. The Marvel Cinematic Universe
7. Inception
8. The Fast & the Furious series
9. The Abyss
10. The Town

Day 12: Movie: Skyfall

Bond. James Bond.

*makes giggling noises*

Okay. Got that out of my system for the next two minutes.

I have two confessions to get out of the way:

1) I am not a James Bond fan. I am a Daniel Craig - Bond fan. I've seen other Bonds and feel very 'meh' about them. So this is not a review from a die hard fan.

2) I continually get Judi Dench, Maggie Smith and Helen Mirren confused. Not when I'm looking at them on screen, but, for example, when we were leaving the theater my friend and I were talking about Judi Dench (who plays M) and I insisted that she was also starring in Downton Abbey on PBS. That'd actually be Maggie Smith that I was thinking of. *shrug* I have no idea why I have this issue. They look nothing alike.

Right. Now we can talk about the movie.

The movie opens up with Bond finding a fellow agent mortally wounded, a hard drive containing the names of all NATO nations' undercover operatives missing. I get the impression that the hard drive wasn't supposed to exist, meaning that M collected it without telling the nations she was supposed to be working with, but I could be wrong. Bond and a female agent give chase through...wait for it...

Istanbul.

Was there a discount on filming in Turkey this year? *shrug* Well at least in this case Istanbul was just an 'exotic location' and had nothing to do with the plot of the film.



The female agent, attempting to shoot the villain, accidentally hits Bond instead. I'm throwing that out there because it's in the trailer, so it's not a spoiler. Bond spends part of the movie dead, but returns to Britain when M and MI6 come under attack by the person who has control of the hard drive.

It's a fun movie, plenty of action and Daniel Craig looking good in a suit. :) bb!Q is just adorable and I want to pinch his cheeks.

But beyond the eye candy factors, the movie seems to me to be about the changing world. Much is made of Bond's age, his fitness to still be out in the field doing what he does. And also the necessity of it. There are also questions of M's way of running MI6, whether or not she's behind the times and clinging to old on the ground espionage when the future is in computers and cyber information.

I don't want to say which side of that argument the movie comes down on because it would give away too much. :)

Bottom line: fun movie, definitely worth the viewing in my opinion. It gave me thoughts about the inevitability of progress, the nature of power and the consequences of our choices, and the necessity of not losing where we came from even as we adapt to the future.

Day 4: Movie: Flight

If I was in the habit of doing starred reviews this movie would have a lot of stars. Luckily I'm not in that habit, so I can get away with just saying that it's very good and you should all go see it!

I was a bit leery about going to see this movie, to be honest. I knew, not from the previews but from reading some reviews about it, that it was more focussed on Denzel Washington's character, Captain 'Whip' Whitaker and his addictions than on the action of the crash itself. And I have a fairly triggery relationship with alcoholism and addiction. However, I love Denzel Washington's work and I decided to trust that the payoff would be worth any pain I felt watching an alcoholic on the screen.

It was definitely worth it.

We open with Captain Whitaker waking up in bed next to one of his flight attendants. They're both more or less still drunk from the night before and in order to get going, Whitaker drinks what's left of a beer and snorts a line of cocaine. Whitaker pulls off the 'functional drunk' routine fairly well, though there are a few signs - he uses a lot of mouth wash in order to try and disguise the smell of alcohol on his breath and he slips climbing the stairs into the plane - but one could argue that if we hadn't seen him doing the drugs before hand we could have written these things off easily enough.

On the last leg of their flight into Atlanta, something goes wrong with the plane and Whitaker and his co-pilot find that they have no control. The plane is losing altitude fast, crashing straight into a residential neighborhood. Whitaker, through some truly insane maneuvers, manages to arrest their fall and guide the plane to crash land in an empty field.

But as I said, the crash is only a very small part of the movie. It's the impetus for everything that follows, but it's not the focus. As a matter of fact you can see a good chunk of the crash action in the trailer.


Here's the thing that makes this movie so good, to my mind: Washington delivers an incredibly painful and believable performance as an alcoholic who is aware that the rest of the world sees what they do as a problem but believes that they have it under control. He *knows* that what he's doing is wrong but he honestly, deep into his soul believes that he's not an addict.

There's one scene, later in the movie, where Whitaker is drunk and fighting with Nichole, a recovering addict who he is dating (sort of) and she's trying to get him to go to rehab or to AA with her or anything, anything at all. And he's screaming at her that he only drinks because he chooses to. 'I have an ex-wife and a son that don't speak to me because I CHOOSE to DRINK!' And you can see that to him, that makes him not an addict. The fact that, to his mind, he is making a choice, makes it okay. He even tries to stop drinking as soon as he gets home from the hospital after the crash, dumping all of his drugs and his alcohol (and he has a LOT of alcohol) but as soon as things start to get a little stressful he goes out and buys some beer and a very large bottle of vodka and proceeds to drink throughout the rest of the movie.

One of the things that kills me about this movie, as realistic as it is, is the number of people who are utterly willing to lie for Whitaker and let him keep living his life the way he is. They do it, ostensibly, because it actually, honestly *isn't* Whitaker's fault that the plane crashes. It's a mechanical failure and it is only due to Whitaker's flying that anyone survives at all. But what they all fail to see, or maybe just don't know how to deal with, is that Whitaker is killing himself. It's only dumb luck that it *wasn't* his fault that the plane crashed, or that he didn't crash his car and kill someone while driving around town drunk.

His friends think that they're protecting him but they're not. There is only one person, Nichole, an addict who has destroyed her own life, who sits down and demands that Whitaker take responsibility for what he has done, for actively endangering the lives of every single person he takes responsibility for as a pilot. She is the only one who comes in and, because of her own life, because she really does feel something for him, tries to get him help. For the most part there are only people around Whitaker who want to help him cover it up so that he won't be blamed for this accident.

This is a painful movie to watch, in large part because of the quality of Denzel Washington's acting, and you will probably spend a large part of it wanting to reach through the screen and slap the man until some sense bleeds into his skull. But just wait. Watch the whole movie. It's very, very worth it.

Movie: Argo

a/k/a: Good movie, true story (mostly), but I think some of the audience missed a few salient points

I actually started this last night, but I think I over did it at the gym. I was just too tired to keep typing, which is *sad*. Also, I know I'm too tired to write when I start over explaining. As in, the original draft of this tried to explain the entire Iranian Revolution. If you think this version is long, you should have seen the original! So here we go. 

I don't usually go in for movies based off of true stories unless they're historical. As in, 1800's and earlier historical. But Ben Affleck has been doing some good work lately (if you haven't seen The Town, I'm not sure we can keep speaking to one another. Go watch it. Go. Go. It's worth it.) and the previews really caught my interest as well as the interests of my movie buddies. So we broke our usual rule and went to see Argo this weekend.

The basic plot runs like this: In 1979, during the Iranian Revolution, the American embassy is overrun by Iranian students (and some say Islamic militants but I am going to admit to only a general knowledge of these events so I can't call for or against either opinion with any honesty). They take about 50 people hostage (the staff of the embassy) and hold them for more than a year, demanding the return of the ousted Shah, Mohammad Rezā Shāh Pahlavī who had taken refuge in the US. In the end, all of the hostages were released (though some soldiers were killed in a botched rescue attempt) and Iranian-American relations have been less than friendly ever since.

Most people, I think, know at least that vague outline. What they might not know (as in, I didn't know it until I heard of this movie and started reading a little about it and I assume that the majority of people know about as much as I do because I am the center of the universe...) is that six embassy employees escaped when the embassy was being taken over and hid out in the Canadian ambassador's house until the CIA sent someone in to get them out of the country.

His cover story was that they were a movie production crew scouting 'exotic' locations for a sci-fi movie called 'Argo'. Hence the name of the movie about the fake movie that was thought up between Hollywood and the CIA.

Now before I start, one thing to keep in mind is that this movie is 'based on' a true story. What that translates to is 'we saw a really great story that happened and then we amped up the drama and tension to make it marketable'. Not everything that happens on the screen happened in real life. And I, not having read the book that this is based off of, cannot judge which are which. So what I'm talking about is not the reality of this event, but the movie loosely based on the reality of the event. Got that? Good.

I think we all remember how much I loved Taken 2 last week and it's *super* fair and balanced and *totally* necessary portrayal of Muslims? Yeah. I went into this movie with my major concern being that it was going to out-fail Taken 2 so I was pleasantly surprised when it managed to not do that.

In the opening sequence, the narrator does a brief outlay as to how we get to the point at which the movie itself begins, which is the day that the embassy is overrun. The important point, in my opinion, is that they point out that Mohammed Reza was put into power by a U.S. backed coup that ousted the democratically elected prime minister and forced Mohammed Reza's father off of the throne. And why, you may ask, did the U.S. do this? The film points this out as well, though I have to say that they didn't point it out as harshly as I think it deserved. The U.S. put Mohammed Reza into power because under the previous regime the oil industry was nationalized, removing it from the control of the British and handing it over to the people or Iran. So...yeah. *cough* Our 'interests were affected' to paraphrase our wannabe VP and we stepped in.

Which was really nice for the people of Iran. They went from having some level of autonomy and growth to being crushed under a dictator who lived it up while they starved. His intelligence service, SAVAK, was set up with the aide of the US government and made a habit of torturing and murdering those opposed to the regime.

Not that the US makes a habit of backing dictators or anything as long as they're our 'friends' and supply us with whatever we want from their country. Nope.

Well the Iranian people eventually revolt - the Shah was put into power in 1953, the Iranians didn't revolt until 1979 - and the Shah escapes and is given asylum in the US for medical treatment (supposedly). The Iranians, understandably in my view, wanted him back. For reasons which I don't think really need explaining, but if they do, they weren't inviting him back for a tea party, okay?

The US refused to give him back because, as one character says later in the film, they're protecting him so all the other dictators that they've put into power know that when everything goes to shit we won't leave them to be worked on by some 'goat vet'.

Here's why I liked this, even though I think that the majority of the audience (at least in my theater) missed this point entirely. (I'm guessing this because of a comment or two that I overheard as we were leaving the theater. I won't repeat them due to overwhelming stupidity.) They didn't *have* to include that. Would it have been an historically inaccurate and dishonest movie without that little fact? Yes. But that's never stopped anyone before. After all it's a movie 'based on' true events, which as I said before, gives them license to make a movie that is less than 100% historically accurate. Any complaints could have been met with that argument, or the argument that it is not the job of the film makers to educate the populace on relatively recent historical events. Which is also true, so far as it goes.

We should not allow ourselves to be educated by the media, by which I mean television shows and movies. They're *fiction*. Even news shows have their own biases, their own agendas. Which is not to say that they're all untrustworthy (though some of them are), but that it is the responsibility of every individual to look further than just the soundbites that we are fed. But back to movies. I think that far too many people allow their 'knowledge' of things to be based on fictional accounts of these events. They seem to think that there's some rule about honesty or accuracy that bleeds over into entertainment media. There isn't. If you want to watch a 'movie' about something and have it be (maybe) historically accurate or factual, find a documentary. Even then you aren't guaranteed, just like you aren't guaranteed an unbiased point of view. You aren't even guaranteed an unbiased point of view in history books. For your own sake, if nothing else, take the time and make the effort to look for other perspectives on what you're hearing.

And now back to the movie! Yay tangents!

Apart from the opening sequence there are several small mentions of the U.S. being responsible for certain events that caused the Revolution, or at the very least didn't help the situation any.

Yes, the 'heroes' in the movie are the Americans. That's...kind of inevitable given the makers of the movie and the situation itself. There is apparently some argument between Canadians and Americans as to how much each country did with regards to the extraction, but again, just going off of the movie.

That being said, I think that the population of Iran was portrayed in a far more even way than the people of Turkey were in Taken 2. Yes, there are many instances in the movie that portray Iranians being frightening. A man being dragged out of the house next door to the Canadian ambassador's residence and being shot. Screaming, guns being waved around, the hostage taking itself. A scene where several of the male hostages are taken down to the basement of the embassy, tied up and made to believe that they are going to be shot. It can be a hard thing to watch, especially given the skill with which the movie is made, but as far as I know it's realistic to what was going on in the country at that time.

They do try to offset this portrayal, though, by showing the Iranian people as people. A few minor instances here and there of normal interaction without there being anything sinister between the Americans and Iranians. One that sticks out in my memory is when the Americans are meeting a representative of the Iranian government in the Grand Bazaar in order to 'scout' the location. The man tries to joke and talk with them, but of course they're too nervous to really pull it off. So he comes across as being friendly and helpful and they come across as being abrupt and kind of weird.

One major point is that the Canadians' maid, Sahar, figures out who the 'Canadian' guests really are and not only does she not turn them over, she actively helps to conceal them. Which, of course, puts her life at extreme risk, so much so that she has to flee Iran once the Americans and her Canadian employers are out of the country.

Religion, while present, is not really thrown out as a major factor. Though perhaps that's because they assume that everyone knows Iran is an Islamic country. The only mention that I can recall is in a bit of dialogue between Sahar and one of the Iranian guards. He's trying to lean on her, to make her aware of how important her answer is, and he mentions 'Rasool Allah'. Which I know refers to Mohammed, but I will lay money on the majority of the people watching this movie having no clue what it means.

I don't want to give the impression that I thought this movie was perfect, or a perfect example of how to portray a culture without demonizing it. It's not. But I think it's a step in the right direction, that they made a point of seeding a movie that could have been all about how evil the Iranians are with moments where it's clear that they are human too, and not evil. There could have been more of them, they could have made it better in any number of ways, but for what it was, I am pleased with the movie.

For another perspective on the movie, check out Malik's review here.

And you don't have to worry about getting another long movie rant next week. We're seeing Paranormal Activity 4, so you're safe!

ETA: In a moment of complete travesty, Taken 2 beat Argo at the box office. Excuse me while I go mourn this terrible event.

Movie: Taken 2

a/k/a The Scary Muslims Are Coming to Rape Your Wives and Daughters

Okay. *takes a deep breath* I actually waited until today to write this in the hopes that it would be less ranty. Let's see if that worked.

Taken 2 is a sequel to Taken. Please, all of you, control your shock. :p My point is, to understand what happens in this movie you need to be at least a little familiar with the first one. Not a whole lot, it's not a complicated plot by any means. But I'm going to just give you a really brief summary.

In Taken, Liam Neeson plays Bryan Mills an ex-CIA operative who is trying to reestablish a relationship with his teenage daughter Kim and his ex-wife Lenore. Lenore and Kim guilt him into signing off on papers to allow Kim to travel to Paris for a vacation (she's underage and so needs both parents' consent) against his better judgment. After being in Paris for about two seconds Kim and her friend Amanda are both kidnapped by a human trafficking ring. She just happens to be on the phone with her father who uses the information he records from the call to begin tracking Kim's abductors down. The rest of the movie is basically Liam Neeson being a badass and killing something like 50 guys with a dull, rusty spoon.

I make no apologies for my junk-food-movie tastes, okay? It's Liam Neeson kicking ass. You'd hit that too, don't lie.

In the end Mills gets Kim back and is on his way to having a better relationship with her and Lenore. No real need for a sequel in my mind, but I'm not the one running this show.

Which brings us to Taken 2. Within a year, maybe two of the ending of the first movie, Lenore is separated from her husband (she'd remarried after divorcing Mills) and Bryan is teaching Kim how to drive. Kim, for her part, has a boyfriend and is trying to be just a normal teenage girl.

Trying to reconnect with one another, Lenore and Kim arrange to meet Bryan in Istanbul after Lenore's second husband cancels a trip to China that the three of them were supposed to go on to let Lenore and Stuart (husband #2) work things out. Because the first thing I would want to do after being abducted, drugged, having my friend sold to a brothel and die of an overdose, and then being sold myself is to go to another foreign country. But I digress.

Of course while they're in Turkey the family of one of the men that Bryan killed comes seeking revenge. And there follows much ass kicking through the streets of Istanbul.

So that's the two movies. Got it? Any questions, refer to the links above. The wiki pages have a slightly more detailed synopsis.

Now, on to the things that made me mad.

In the first movie there's a human trafficking ring at work. The men who do the initial kidnapping are identified as Albanian mobsters but there are also Frenchmen and presumably other nationalities and races involved though they are never named outright.

Come to the beginning of the second movie and the dead Albanians are definitively identified as being Muslim, or at least coming from Muslim families. Prior to this I would put the percentage of people who thought about the criminals' religion at *maybe* 1% and the percentage of people who could identify Albania as a Muslim majority country at about the same rate. It wasn't about them, after all, except in the sense that they were bad, terrible people. Their bodies are 'claimed' at the airport, and by 'claimed' I mean taken at gun point which makes *no sense* at all to me, why couldn't they claim them legally? and driven to their home town of Tropoje for burial. Even if you didn't know enough to recognize that a) the man officiating at the funeral is an imam or b) that Al-Fatiha is a surah from the Qur'an, the film makers make sure that you know they're Muslim by including women in hijab weeping at the graves.

Fine. Even though these were terrible men, they had families. The families would mourn. Okay. I'm not sure why we needed to include the prayers right before we have the father of one of the men vowing revenge over his son's grave though. The scene, with the father vowing revenge, would have worked just as well cutting out all the prayers and just having the families standing around the graves, maybe a long shot down into the open graves so that we can see the coffins/sheet wound bodies (whatever you want to go with) and then the father vowing revenge and dropping his handful of dirt down onto his sons body.

So okay, we've now unnecessarily established the villains of the movie as Muslims seeking vengeance. I...am so *shocked* by this. Because the media portrayal of Muslims is usually so friendly and cuddly.

Now we move the action to Turkey. Why Turkey? I don't, honestly, know. Mills is there doing some work (he does private bodyguarding jobs now that he's ex-CIA) and Lenore and Kim join him there. But *why* Turkey? Is it especially close to Albania, where this crime family is from?

Albania is the blue-green country to the right of Italy's heel, touching Greece. Turkey is the salmon colored country on the far, lower right hand side.

Yes. *eyes map* They're very, very close. Absolutely as close as they're made to feel in the movie, which is right next door. Like they share a border or something. Honestly. The bad guys hop in their black Mercedes and SUV's and drive to the Turkish border where, looking suspicious as can be without actually sitting there and polishing their guns while cackling maniacally, they're let right through. I know, I know, *movie*. But why did they choose to set the action in Turkey? I could honestly see someone vacationing in Italy or Greece more readily than Turkey. Not because of any negative aspects to Turkey but because it's just not a place I hear many people talking about when they dream of their vacations. Also, for the purposes of the movie, both of these counties are *much* closer to Albania. Hey, you can even drive to Greece!

So...why *Turkey*? Why Istanbul?

I feel like...like there might have been some sort of *reason*...

Something they'd like to be sitting in the back of peoples' minds...

Something about the people, maybe?

I just wish I could put my finger on it...

Huh. Well, I guess it'll have to remain a mystery.

Leaving aside the multiple times that we're treated to an admittedly really pretty shot of the Blue Mosque or the adhan (which is identified in the movie as 'a man singing' - and that disproportionately annoyed me for some reason) because I admit that they are likely just geographically that noticeable in Istanbul. After all, I've never been there and the Blue Mosque looks rather large. So. I'm accepting those without (much) complaint.

We're now left with the population of Istanbul. A significant chunk of this movie revolves around chase scenes. First the villains chasing Mills and Lenore, chasing Kim, then Mills chasing the villains, etc. etc. All in some very crowded, very ancient looking streets. (Side note, I really would love to visit Istanbul after seeing this movie. *Probably* not their intended outcome.) Now in the first movie, the only person that Mills asked for help was an old operative buddy from the French side of things. Turns out he was getting paid by the kidnappers, so that didn't work out too well, but my point is that Mills wasn't asking random people on the street for help.

However Lenore *was* in this movie. She was running through the streets, trying to get to a taxi stand that Mills had directed her to and she found that her way was blocked by a locked gate. She called out to the hijabi'd women walking on the other side and they just sort of smiled and walked on. Now I am open to the understanding that these women just didn't understand English. I don't assume that everyone does. But Lenore was very clearly, visibly in distress. She was screaming, sweat soaked and terrified. Even if you don't understand the language, wouldn't you do something other than smile and walk on? And then, in the course of her trying to find another way to safety, Lenore runs into a group of niqabis.

Side note: There were a rather large number of niqabis in this movie. I'm not calling it as necessarily done on purpose because I don't know the percentages of women who wear niqab in Turkey vs. hijab vs. uncovered. Maybe the number of niqabis was a correct representation, I don't know. (Honestly, when I first saw the niqabis I thought maybe Lenore would escape wearing an abaya-niqab combination. But *no*.)

Our next shot of Lenore is in the hands of the kidnappers. Viewers are left to jump from black-clad niqabis to kidnapped and held hostage! I can't help but feel that that's deliberate. We're left to either assume that the women handed Lenore over to the kidnappers or that they just stood by and did nothing while Lenore was abducted.

Which is pretty much what everyone in this movie does. If you're not a member of the Mills family, you are either an uncaring bystander who lets all this violence and mayhem go on around you or you are with the villains and are a murdering, raping 'Muslim'.

So congratulations, movie. You've portrayed Muslims as either uncaring (and always a little sinister) or outright evil. Good job. Good totally unnecessary job.

My point is that we could have had this movie (which we really didn't need, and I say this as someone who would watch Liam Neeson sit in a chair and be Irish at the screen), could have had the villains and revenge and all that and left religion out of it *entirely*. But they didn't do it that way. They brought religion into it, tied it through association to all the terrible crimes that were happening, and left it there without even making a token effort to show that hey, yes, these specific people who claim to be Muslim are bad people but not all of them are like that.

Not dead, just busy. Work's been crazy, which is when I usually do my blogging. Shhhhhh....don't tell anyone. ;)

And my brain has kind of been eaten by a fic I'm writing, so my free time at home is taken up with that.

Ah, the trials of the single and childless. Which time wasting hobby shall I indulge in next? *rolls around in her things which are free of drool* Mostly. Some of my things have drool on them.

But that's a story for another post.

Here, have some Loki:



No lie, this song freaks out my cats. I love it.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go back to being a terrible person.

No really. You're just going to have to trust me on this. Most of you DON'T WANT TO KNOW.

Also, Bane.

All arguments are invalid.

I may have seen this movie three times.

Don't judge me.

Okay, judge away. I don't care.

'Because we could'

David: Why do you think your people made me?


Holloway: We made ya cause we could.


David: Can you imagine how disappointing it would be for you to hear the same thing from your creator?

Okay, I should first admit that I have so many Prometheus feels. The movie is a little heavy handed with the message, yes, I admit that. But I love it anyway. True, I would have liked it a little better with some few changes to bring it in line and make it a true prequel to Alien, but I'm okay with it and honestly, I should turn in my fangirl badge if I can't fanon it into submission. :)

So many things that I loved about this movie, but we'll keep it to just this one quote for the purpose of this post.

This is a scene between David who is an android designed to look like and for the most part imitate humans in order to serve them without weirding them out by looking too 'strange'. He is played, fyi, by the incomparable Michael Fassbender. Here, have a picture:

You're *welcome*.

Needless to say, if you're at all familiar with androids vis a vis science fiction, David is not as emotionless or harmless as the people around him would like to think he is.

But that's not the point! *drags self back on track*

Holloway in this scene is upset because they've travelled across the galaxy to try and find the beings who he and his partner Elizabeth Shaw are convinced created the human race. Unfortunately they arrive to find what appears to be a dead world, with none of the 'Engineers' left alive to answer their questions. David, for reasons that we won't go into at this juncture, is making small talk. Sort of. Seemingly. Like I said, not important for the post! Or, well, maybe it is. But I digress! *stuffs her David feels back in their corner*

David asks this in what is perhaps a hint to Holloway that it's better that the Engineers are all dead, this way they can't fail to live up to Holloway's expectations as humanity has *clearly* failed to live up to David's.

The point, if such a thing can be said to exist in this post, is that my immediate thought about David's question was that I wouldn't be disappointed at all. Who cares why? Would it matter if you found out that humanity was created as an experiment, just to see if it would work?

Admittedly, 'because I could' can go very, very wrong. David. I'm looking at you. Because of *reasons*.

/rambly post

Silliness and then a serious question. But you have to get through the silliness first.

Black Widow to Captain America (after Thor nabs Loki out of the Quinjet and Tony jumps out after them): You don't want to get caught up in that. They're from Norse legend! They're basically gods!

Captain America (as he jumps out of the plane): There's only one God, ma'am, and I'm pretty sure he doesn't dress like that.

How my boys dress. There's nothing wrong with it. Look at Loki's coat! So much gorgeousness!

I can't be the only one who thought, 'No, he dresses like this:

'Now which one is sillier? Yeah. That's right. My boys wear *armour*.

Okay, ridiculousness. over. Time for the serious question. Is anyone reading this familiar with the history of Islam in the US? In the sense that they'd be able to tell me how likely it would be for someone in the 1940s to convert to Islam and serve in WWII? I may need this information for a story I'm thinking about writing. So it's not critical information or anything...

Regularly Scheduled Things Will Resume Never

I saw the Avengers twice this weekend.

And then I wrote Avengers fic.

So yeah. That happened.

Also, it made $207.4 million dollars its opening weekend. Because it's Just. That. Incredible.

Books: Women of the Otherworld

Good morning, and welcome to the first in a (maybe, if I can pay attention to the idea long enough) series of posts about 'Series That Are Better Than LKH'.

We'll start with Kelley Armstrong's Otherworld series, more often called the Women of the Otherworld, though there are some short stories that focus on the male characters. Which is why I prefer just calling it Otherworld. And it's my blog, so I do what I want.

For proof of my Powers of Randomness, Random Thor!



First off, since this is a 'Better Than LKH' series, it's in the same genre. That being urban fantasy. What, I can hear at least one of you asking (and yes, I'm looking at you, Susanne), is urban fantasy. it's a genre of fantasy writing where most of the action takes place within an urban setting, a city. It is typically set in modern or future times, with the addition of magic or aliens, but it can be set in historical periods as well, provided that the action occurs primarily in a city.

Okay. I'm going to just talk about the first book in the series, and then a little general squee about the overall world and why I love it so.

The first book in the series is called Bitten and it is the story of Elena Michaels. Elena is a writer for a popular newspaper in Toronto. She lives with her boyfriend Philip and is, most of the year, a perfectly normal, relatively happy woman.

What no one else knows is that Elena is on the run from herself and her past. Bitten years ago by the man she loved, Elena is the only female werewolf in the world. Unable to forgive or understand Clay's reasons for changing her, a process that has killed every other woman it was tried on, Elena has left the Pack that sheltered and taught her to control her new instincts to try and live a normal life.

Jeremy, the Pack Alpha, has respected her desires and made certain that the other members of the Pack (Clay, we're looking at you) respect them as well. However, when people start showing up murdered on Pack land, drawing attention to the Pack and endangering the people that Elena knows and loves, she is drawn back to hunt down the threat.

Bitten could almost be a stand alone, in that the Pack in the book are the only supernatural characters that you meet. In fact, as far as they are aware, they are the only supernatural creatures that actually exist. It isn't until the second book, Stolen, that the wider world of this universe begins to be revealed.

Things that I love about this series:

The women are real women. They're not all 'manly tough', 'I can kick every guys ass'. Which, while it can be a little fun on occasion, is not realistic. And to be fair to Elena, she can kick more ass than your average person. What with being a werewolf and the combat training and all, but she has to work at it. The women have realistic issues with trying to find their place in the world and (in some cases) trying to change the cultural stereotypes of their own people that are holding them back. This is especially true in the case of the witches, who we meet in the second book. Paige Winterborne is the daughter of the head of the American Coven and part of her story is her struggle to do what she knows is best for her and for the other women of the Coven, breaking them away from old fashioned notions of what is 'appropriate' for witches (who are all women) to do and allowing them to be full participants in the world.

Men who do shit get called on their shit. And I'm looking at you, again, Clay. I won't tell you what happens between Clay and Elena because it's a major plot point, but unlike in many supernatural romance kind of situations, Elena doesn't go all gooey and doe eyed when Clay acts like a cave man around her. Seriously, I just read a book where the man essentially meets a woman and declares that if there weren't other people around he'd just pin her to the wall right then and there. And rather than kick him in the balls and run away, she melts and thinks that he's the hottest thing. *rolls eyes* And that's when I tossed the book. *sigh* Seriously. To be fair to Clay, that is not something he would ever do. Not just because he's more than aware that Elena can and will hand him his own spleen, but because even he's aware enough to know that that is Just Wrong.

Truth be told, Clay has enough issues on his own - he's the least human-thinking of the entire Pack, for reasons which I shall not disclose! :p Even knowing that, however, and to a point understanding why Clay is not as socialized as the rest of the Pack, he does not get a free pass for his inappropriate behavior. There is a very clear progression of Clay learning what is and is not acceptable and *why*, and you can also see that Clay *wants* to learn these things in order to make the people he cares about most, Elena and Jeremy, happy.

The books are well plotted, well written and the universe building is believable. For all that some of the characters have phenomenal cosmic powers, they are still very human in their flaws. There is some sex in the books, as several of the characters find people that they love and eventually pair off with them but it is not the focus or the driving impetus of the books. It's incidental and natural feeling given the characters and their story arcs. It is also not graphically depicted. There is some violence, but again it is not graphically depicted and it works within the story, being a natural consequence of the choices of the characters and not dictating the movements of the characters to justify the fight sequence or what have you.

Over all, I give the entire series a 4.5/5, just because I like some of the books and the characters that they focus on, less than others. But it's an excellent series and if you enjoy this genre I heartily recommend it.

Movie: The Usual Suspects

I literally have a hard time talking about this movie because of my Deep and Abiding Love for it. It's kind of like The Princess Bride or Inception in that way. I start making squeeky noises (even in my head) and flailing my arms around because you just have to watch these movies, okay? Okay?

But I'm going to try to explain why you should see this movie without resorting to, OH MY GOD HOW HAVE YOU SURVIVED WITHOUT SEEING THIS? IT'S LIFE CHANGING! Emphasis on the 'try' there.

The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. 

The movie is told back to front. It opens on a man named Keaton (played by Gabriel Byrne), wounded and bleeding on the docks. He speaks to a man named Keyser, who then shoots him and sets the docks on fire, blowing up the ship behind them.

The next day, the FBI and U.S. Customs come in to investigate what really happened. They are left with two survivors of the incident; a man with cerebral palsy named 'Verbal' Kint (played by Kevin Spacey, which should be enough to make you go watch this movie all on its own) and a Hungarian criminal named Arkosh Kovash who is badly burned and will likely not survive.

Most of the story comes from Verbal, who is promised immunity for telling the story of what happened.

His tale begins six weeks earlier when he is taken in for a line up of the 'usual suspects' for a robbery. The line up consists of Verbal, Keaton, a man named McManus, Fenster, and Hockney. While the five of them are in lock up over night McManus convinces them all to go in on a robbery, carjacking the 'New York's Finest' taxi service. This is a group of corrupt policemen who will, for the right price, drive drug dealers, diamond smugglers, or whoever, through the city in order to keep them from being picked up.

The group successfully rob the diamond smuggler and fly out to LA to sell the loot through McManus' fence. When they get there they discover that it's not diamonds, but heroin and that the job was sent to them by Kobayashi, a man who works for Keyser Soze. Soze is, in the criminal world, a ghost story. A boogeyman. A Moriarty whom no one has seen but everyone fears.

Who is Keyser Soze? He's supposed to be Turkish. Some say his father was German. Nobody believed he was real. Nobody ever saw him or knew anybody that ever worked directly for him, but to hear Kobayashi tell it, anybody could have worked for Soze. You never knew. That was his power.

Soze, through Kobayashi, forces the group to do a job for him. He claims that they all stole from him, so in order to pay him back and not die for the offense, they need to rob a ship sitting in harbor. The men do go and rob the boat, though it turns out that there's nothing on the boat to steal. Through Verbal's eyes we watch as every other man on the team is killed, ending with Keaton who is shot by a mysterious man in a fedora and trench coat. This brings us back to the beginning of the movie, where Keaton and Soze speak before Soze kills him and destroys the boat.

This is obviously a mystery movie, with the question at the heart of it being, who is Keyser Soze. This man who even hardened killers fear, who manipulates and uses people with ease. He's responsible for a slaughter at the boat, for so many instances of death and destruction. That is the question that everyone wants to get to the heart of in this movie.

And it's what makes this movie incredible. The way it is handled, the way it is revealed. You don't know, until the end, the answer. I clap and giggle Ever Single Time.

Who is Keyser Soze?

He's a ghost. He's the wind. He's the devil. He pops up, wreaks havoc and destruction in carefully choreographed dance, and then...

And like that...he's gone.