SPN: Hello Cruel World

Sammy's losing his shit...

Also, once again, I adore Mark Pellegrino.

Miiiiiiiiissssssssshhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaa...*pinches his cheeks*

I'm still afraid for Cas. FYI.

How're the Leviathan's going to keep Cas-Jimmy-vessel from exploding?

See, Michael and Lucifer were totally making happy fun times with Sam all the time.

Cas has the zombie shuffle going on. Oooohhh...water. Leviathan, water. Makes sense. Did they just leave Cas? Does that mean he's safe or dead? WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

*glares at trenchcoat* NO.

Dean is weeping!

Um, no. That better not be it for Cas. I will find you!

Oh, look. Kids are Creepy trope.

I was totally going to write threesome fic while I watched, but that's not happening.

Why is Sam's hand still so hurt? Hasn't it been a couple of weeks since he cut it on the evil blood glass?

Oh, hey. Sam is talking about what's going on. That's new.

Bobby - I am not paid enough for this shit.

You know, the boys should just have tracking chips implanted and save themselves the trouble.

Heh. I am considering writing a 'paper' comparing Hendricks from the DF and Bobby from SPN. Only sane men in the room.

Teenage boys eating other teenage boys in the locker room. I'm not even going to have to touch that one.

'Annie knew where babies come from. Disgusting by the way.'

Oh. So they take over a doctor to feed them. Got it.

Huh. Shapeshifting creepy girl into a doctor. Interesting.

Not the good kind of orgy in the locker room.

Dear woman: stay in the freaking bed. Never follow the weird people down the hall. Never.

What does this woman think she's doing? Does she think she's some sort of hospital ninja?

Dumbass.

Badumbum.

Ack! Run away hospital ninja lady! Why on earth would you stop to take your purse?

Who is this lady? Really? SHERIFF MILLS! I didn't recognize her! That explains it!

I'm guessing that 'the Boss' is the head Leviathan that is still inside Cas.

Yes, let's leave the hallucinating guy alone with all sorts of weapons. This will end well.

This is a Dean hallucination.

Uhm...I'm shipping Bobby/Sheriff Mills. FYI.

Toldya.

Sam's hallucinations are pretty crazy alive and detailed. So Dean's a hallucination, how did they drive where they drove? Was Sam driving hallucinating being in the passenger seat?

'I am the only one who can legitimately kick your ass in real time.'

So Sam's going to base reality on Dean. Who doesn't always have such a firm grasp of it himself.

Did anyone else think that the 'blood' that welled up when Sam was squeezing so hard looked awful black?

*blink**STARE* WHAT?

PA3 commercial! Eh. I've seen that one. I was hoping it was the longer one. Whatever. I wants it.

Nope. Didn't think the car would work.

I am going to find those writers, and shake them until they give me the entire season.

Is Cas fucking dead or not?!?!

SPN Season 7: Meet the New Boss

LET IT BEGIN!

God, I love the music on this show!

CAS!

DEATH! Hi Death!

Crowley...I love you all so much! *crosses all limbs that can be crossed* Don't die!

Wait, wait. You know what would be really funny? Cas' first line of the season is: PSYCHE!

Yes Dean, bow down before the shiny deity.

Wow...psycho Cas is a bastard.

Someone hug Cas! Hug the crazy out of him!

Yay flashbacks of Sammy in hell. It's about damned time. Stupid wall's been breaking down for ages and nothing.

Cas is totally talking to corpses, isn't he?

Or just rehearsing?

Or...both.

Dean, I don't think that's gonna work. I mean I'm not a car person or anything, but isn's steel tougher than human legs? I think so.

Hey....Mark Pellegrino's listed as a guest star. I am intrigued.

ps: I would totally date Bobby.

And I don't like Dean's hair right now.

Hallucinations. Right. Which explains Mark Pellegrino being listed as a guest star.

Dear preacher man: die. Messy.

'You're wrong, I am utterly indifferent to sexual orientation. On the other hand, I cannot abide hypocrites like you reverend. Tell your flock where your genitals have been before you speak for me.'

Kinda loving god!Cas atm.

And whose voice was that? What was with the burning the bench thing?

Clearly the writers for SPN have watched Hellraiser one too many times.

Cas is on the move!

She- was that Lucy Lawless? If not, she sure looked like her.

CROWLEY!

Oh, how the mighty have fallen. A mobile home. And all the anti-angel things aren't going to work. He's GOD.

Don't die Crowley!

Hee. I love Crowley so much.

Ohh....oh oh oh! Jimmy! Jimmy wasn't even a super special vessel. He was just a normal angel vessel. (Sam is totally nightmaring getting choked right now and I'm too busy to care.) god!Cas is burning through the vessel. So if Lucifer had to drink demon blood to keep Nick-vessel going and Sam too, what does Cas need to be drinking?

'Unfortunately I lost my god guns.' And that is part of why I would date Bobby.

Poor Crowley. :( He's always getting jerked hither and yon.

'You do want to conspire, don't you?'

Oh boys. You're going to piss off Death so very, very much.

Okay, I like that one.

They're going to kill Cas. I'm sure of it. And I don't like it. Not this ep, but in the season. And it's going to piss me off. I'm...trying to prepare for it.

Dean is totally Batman.

I do like how Dean brought Death a snack.

Seriously, Death is going to kick all your asses.

'Kill god. You heard right. Your. Honor.' Bobby.

'Because we said so. And we're the Boss of you. I mean. Respectfully.' DEAN.

Leviathons = cthulu. Tell me I'm wrong.

'Please Cas. I know God. And you, sir, are no God.'

'Should we kick box now?' Seriously, this show.

CAS! OH NOES! He's snapping. *weeps*

I <3 DEATH SO MUCH!

And Cas just went and killed all the peoples. Yeah. The monsters are running god!Cas from the inside.

Sam feels for Cas and Dean's just...he's been down this road before and had it fuck him in the ass.

Sammy, right now, I love you. It's not going to work, but I love you for trying.

*WIBBLE*

ALL THE WIBBLES!

Really? It can't be that simple. It's Supernatural.

And Cas appears to be dead, and I will not abide that bitches.

Hot damn!

Hello baby...

'I'm ashamed. I really over reached.'

I knew it. Son of a bitch.

Okay, seriously, Misha is going to have so much fun with this.

And yet:

YOU BETTER FIX THIS PEOPLE!

I'm happy to see Mark Pellegrino again. That is all.

Fucking writers.

SPN - The Man Who Would Be King

*squee**clap*

Crowley and Cas!

I am so afraid of this ep...

Cas!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monologuing Cas!

Tower of Babel = 37 feet

'come on, dried dung can only be stacked so high'

I like how Dean barely even flinches anymore.

I really love Crowley. It's insane how much I love him.

Of course Cas is conflicted. He loves Dean!

And, you know, this whole flashback to the best of Cas...IT'S WORRYING ME!

DO NOT KILL CAS, WRITERS! I WILL FIND YOU!

*chokes* So Cas brought Sam's body out!

'denim wrapped nightmares!'

I like invisible Cas.

*lol* Demon-Bobby! Too cute.

messiah-Cas!

*whimper*

Smite the demons! Smite the demons!

THE FOOLS!

Because now they know you were spying on them, you moron!

Did Crowley just call Cas a whore? SMASH!

Cas, dear, I love you. But Crowley is more clever than thou.

Hell is now an eternal line. What happened to all the fun torture?

I don't even know what to say. I mean...ack! Poor Cas!

FREE HIM YOU ASSHOLES!

FUCK! I CAUGHT UP TO THE DVR! NOW I HAVE TO SIT THROUGH COMMERCIALS! MY MIND CANNOT TAKE THE WAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Bobby got the angel proofing wrong. Ooops.

*flails around in agony**cries*

*chokes* NO! NO! SCREW YOU PEOPLE! FIX IT YOU BASTARDS! FIX IIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!

preview: May 20th. I expected that. FULL NIGHT FINALE EVENT? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? I'M HAVING A MOMENT HERE!

SPN - Mommy Dearest

Title is a ref. to Joan Crawford and her uh, special child rearing tactics, I'm sure.

*flail* CROWLEY! I MISS YOU CROWLEY!!!!

That line alone is what will get you killed.

I am overly amused that the background music for the bar scene was 'I Believe in Miracles'.

Dean, man, if you're human, why would it work on you?

I- the- the LOOK when Cas stopped saying- I- *dies of slashy glee*

Hi Tara! Lenore!

Oh, yeah. No one saw this coming. *rolls eyes*

Good boy Cas. Also, that was a tad cold. The whole, 'we needed to movie this along'.

'smitey mcsmiterdon'

Good going Dean, now Cas is pouting.

Well that was easy.

Dean - 'tough love', not always the answer.

Huh?

Dean saved his boyfriend!

The kids are totally plants....

Uh. I don't really have a lot to say, obviously. I'm too busy staring at the tv.

Oooohhh...so Crowley caused this? That is...kind of ironic. And amusing.

Also, I love Mary Winchester's actresses.

Is Eve lying or on crack? Or is Crowley really alive?

*ponders* Is Cas doing something with the souls in heaven?

I really do like Eve. I mean, she's not a nice...let's go with 'person', but I like her. I like her...

The kids. What'd I say? Yeah. That's right. Kids are evil. Supernatural has proved this.

Boys, just work for the mother of all monsters. Okay?

Noo.....that was way too easy. She can't be dead!

Dear Supernatural - please to stop killing off the cool female characters. Kay?

Crowley? Wait, does Meg still have Cas' sword? That'd explain the stab wound...

Not that Cas' sword is the only thing that can kill monsters, just I don't remember Meg giving it back.

Unless Cas and Crowley are working together. Huh. Maybe...all those souls...yeah. To win the war, I could see it.

CROWLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *is dead from glee*

preview: *flail* that is all

SPN - Frontierland

It's like a theme park! Yay!

Ooohhh...I remember that place!

Hullo...why doesn't Cas just say 'timey wimey'?

Have I mentioned that I like the woman they've got playing Eve-Mommy?

Is Dean scamming in the Old West? Otherwise, how'd he get to be sheriff?

:D I like when they do fun things with the title cards on eps.

They're fanboying Samuel Colt. I find this cute.

I- I- Bobby watched DS9! Come to me you beautiful man!

Dean 'praying' to Cas is always funny.

Hey, who's the secretary?

And, now I love her. Go Rachel! Hey, Cas, no. This was a necessary ass chewing. They needed it! *sigh* Cas, man. Someone needs to get you into relationship therapy.

'Is it customary to wear a blanket?' :D

Dean is such a nerd.

'you know what that is? AUTHENTICITY!' Dean = awesome fanboy.

Who wants to bet the guy they just hung is the phoenix?

I love Dean's little pout when his blanket doesn't make him fit in.

Hah! Oh, the theme of terrible aliases continues.

Once again, Dean gets pegged as gay. No, no, don't read into that at all.

Poor Dean, his little fantasy's getting all messed up by reality.

Yeah. Wow. *That* was such a hard thing to guess. *rolls eyes*

Ooohhh..commerical for Smallville's finale. HI LEX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dean has such a devilish little grin, there. Yes, we got all your 'possy' puns, Dean.

I think Sam is almost as tall as that horse. Go Gigantor!

Oh, oh, Cas. WHAT NOW? WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING?!?

We're passing out, apparently. Poor Cas. I mean, I suspect he's been doing something naughty and morally gray on the dark side of that gray, but whatever. I love Cas.

Hey, maybe they can bring Gabriel back to kick everyone's ass and take over since everyone else is clearly a moron.

And *that*'s how Dean becomes sheriff.

*giggle* Blazing Saddles reference!

'a giant from the future with some magic brick' *rofl*

'I'm either too drunk or not drunk enough.' I have had that though quite often.

*cringes* Oh, Cas that...that's very demonic. I mean, we know that the whole demons are the merger of human souls and archangelic power thing is true, but how do you think that got started? Yeah. Lucifer started reaching out and touching peoples SOULS, sucking off energy.

Ah. Yeah, you know, I'd let the Phoenix torch this guy. On general principles.

Why;s Bobby always the one paying for the boys? Oh, yeah. Responsible adult. Also, the boys are kind of dicks.

Cas is gonna yank them out before they get the Phoenix. I kind of hope the guy lives. I like him. *pout* Okay, well, run and scoop up some dead man! Now!

Told you....

Ah! Oh, hah! Go Samuel Colt! Too funny!

preview: not a clue. I mean, yeah, Mommy and there's Cas all covered in blood. And that's all I've got.

SPN - My Heart Will Go On

With a title like that, even without the summary on my dvr, you know it's gonna be about the Titanic. Also, YAY BALTHAZAR! My third fave angel on the show.

ELLEN! JO!

I- I- this is going to kill me, isn't it? They're going to be back and then die again. Damn you writers!

Bobby! I mourn your old man romance's doom!

Who wants to bet the garage door kills this guy?

Duh. Okay, so, theory. Because Balthazar did the thing I know he did from the preview, Death is running around killing people to fix all the shit.

It's the plot to Final Destination. Only with hotter guys.

Hey! Dean won rock paper scissors! Yay Dean! You've learned a lesson!

*flails* IT'S A MUSTANG! SACRILEGE!

See, see, they're back and holy shit, are they gonna put Bobby and Ellen together? I think my head will explode.

Yep. Yep.

*KERSPLOOSH*

If you hear a dripping sound, that's my brain, coming off the ceiling. Pay it no mind.

Oh, Dean only won rock paper scissors because this is alterna-world.

Hello blonde woman. Death's accountant?

Lady, that scarf was a real unfortunate choice. And that's why I'm glad women don't wear ties. Too many office hazards.

Funny story, so, somewhere in the interviews on my Supernatural dvd's there's a story Kripke told about how he decided on the boys driving an Impala. He was talking to a neighbor, telling him about this show he was writing. Two brothers, crossing the country in a classic Mustang. And the neighbor, a muscle car guy, said that was a fine car. For a pussy. If Kripke wanted a monster car, something that looked like it would beat other cars up, then he needed a '67 Impala. And thus, we got the Impala. So I'm guessing the Mustang is a nod to that.

LOL. BALTHAZAR, YOU FREAK. ILU.

"Because that God awful Celine Dion song made me want to smite myself!" ILU Balthazar. So freaking hard.

"Oh, oh, sorry. You have me confused with the other angel. You know, the one in the dirty trench coat who's in love with you." *looks at Dean* Yes...we all know you're jealous, Balthazar.

Oh, Fate. So not Death. Hi Fate! Hmmm...Atropos? She's the one who does the cutting. But she's not usually cute.

SQUISH!

Okay, and the commercial for the finale of Smallville made me squee.

Irony... I thought it was funny, Dean.

Oh, Cas. I love you. Yes, the boys may have pissed Fate off. Just a tad. Probably gave her an ulcer before that.

Ellen. I miss you so much. I do.

I love this song!

Ha! Atropos is adorable! Reminds me of Sheila from DF. And we all know how well she turned out...

"But freedom is more preferable." I hate that sentence.

And Atropos is a little OCD.

Oh! Oh! Atropos is a disgruntled worker!

And Cas is a sneaky pants!

I really do like Atropos. And I wanna meet her sisters...

Hello Baby! We've missed you! *huggles the Impala*

"You killed 50,000 people for us." No, just for Dean. And really, it was just because Atropos had him over a barrel and wasn't going for the lube.

Cas, you are a terrible liar. Terrible. Dean, Sam - you're idiots. ID. I. OTS.

So cute, Dean and Sam with Bobby. Who is their Daddy. Best parent they've ever had. *pouts*

preview: Cowboys? I like. *waggles eyebrows*

Supernatural S6 - And Then There Were None

The one where Samuel dies? Y/Y?

See, Dean told Zachariah that he'd stab him in the face. And he did. So now I need Dean to kill Samuel. Cause he said he would.

Hi Mommy! I do like the mother.

Dear truck driver: it does not pay to pick up pretty girls on the highway. Not on this show anyway.

Oh, oh, it wasn't a drill bit in the preview last week. It was her tongue! I will bet you!

Or maybe not, since he didn't get hollowed out or anything. Mmm...

'Sarcasm attracts the hammer, Bob.' I know, I know. Completely inappropriate.

Rufus! Grumpy Old Hunters!

Well that's nice and pleasant. Gooey stuff in the ear. *blargh* Why is there not a smiley for blargh face?

And there's Gwen. Shoot her. Shoot! No, dammit. Shoot HIM!

"Ow. Somebody needs a hug." *tries to hug Rufus and Bobby at the same time*

Eve = Mommy. Wow, what a stretch. *smacks Samuel**with a baseball bat*

I don't like Gwen. And I don't trust her. Dean, don't be stupid here.

Wait, what?

Oh! Mommy got him!

Never leave someone alone in the dark warehouse with the monster on the loose.

Okay. Got it. Mommy laid the new little monster inside truckers ear. He worked at the cannery, it crawls out of him, into the other guy. And now it's in the cannery. Duh. Wow, I'm slow tonight.

'Khan worm on steroids!'

KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!

Admit it. Ricardo Montalban was hot.

Um. Bobby/Rufus? y/y?

Of *course* he had a hold out gun. Duh.

Also, I really love Dean's gun. If I didn't have such small girly-hands, that would be the gun I would get. M1911A1. As it is, I do have girly-hands, and it looks like a large grip. But I guess I'd have to handle one to know for sure.

Dangit! I wanted Dean to kill him dead!

On an unrelated note, I think this Suckerpunch movie would only be good if I was severely high.

You have a cranial saw in the truck?

Of course.

And now we have the obligatory emo woobie moment. God, just hug already.

And now we shall have Bobby and Rufus kiss and make up. Dammit.

*makes wibbly movements* BOYS!

Lord, everyone on this show needs so much therapy.

ACK!

Okay, you kind of knew it was coming, but still.

Note for the future: always restrain the 'corpse' before you try to cut it's brain open.

'define a hundred'

*giggle*

The monster is never just gone.

Sam...that is both dumb and brilliant. Pretty much like you.

Some people pay for that kind of thing...

RUFUS! Wait! Now what will I do with my new found Bobby/Rufus feelings? *wails* Dammit. All my old-guy pairings are half dead.

Why do you keep talking about herpies?

Khan-worm speaks!

Dude. Uh...this is a bad idea for many reasons.

And Sammy had to turn away.

Squish it, stupid!

And on another unrelated note. Red Riding Hood - do want!

Beast of Gevaudan story = personal obsessive favorite!

How much do I love that Rufus was Jewish?

'he always used to pull the old, can't work on the Sabbath card, when we had to bury a body'

preview: FUCKING APRIL 15 WHAT THE FUCK?!!??? ANOTHER break?

Cas! Balthazar! Mommy! COWBOYS! Silly death? Gabe? Could that be your work? Did I mention COWBOYS?

Supernatural S6 - The French Mistake

Raphael is a douche. We all remember that, right?

And Balthazar is Gabriel's understudy. And also Cas' ex.

Ruby? Why're we brining up Ruby? I don't like it.

Balthazar! Hi there! I really love him.

And I want Raphael dead.

Oh *that*'s right. That's why Ruby. Duh.

*giggles so hard it hurts*

Misha!

Ok. no, wait. seriously. i just had to pause the show to laugh. *deep breaths*

right. lets try this again.

*flaily* MISHA!

fake!me fake!mine

right. this whole thing is going to be me going:

8DDDDDDDDD

can't drive the prop car....

'You *married* fake!Ruby!'

Them acting like they're acting. BADLY!

Misha! In the background and the Twittering!

dundunDUN

Will Virgil's powers work in real life where there are no angels?

And that'd be a NO.

Just got pick-pocketed by a powerless angel.

'it wasn't *all* the way to death.'

Misha's just like a little PUPPY! someone needs to take that phone away from him.

yeah.

*pouts* Did he just kill MISHA?!?! no likey.

'the scary man killed the attractive crying man'

Oh god. It's bad, because MISHA BABY! but still so damn funny

and the angel just killed 'god'. let's all not think *too* deeply about that one, right?

Raphael's a girl! *is pleased*

Hey, look. Cas is a BAD ASS! YAY!

Balthazar gave his boyfriend back the really powerful toys.

Okay, I'm trying to figure out exactly what Balthazar says here.

"Well, Cat." - I SWEAR that's what it sounds like, okay? Pet name anyone?

"Well, Cat, now that you have your sword, try not to die by it."

HA! HAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

And now Dean and Cas are fighting. Which is all a part of Balthazar's plan to get back in Cas' pants. Prove I'm wrong! You can't, can you?!?

preview:

i have no idea what the fuck that was. except for a drill bit coming out someone's ear there at the end. that i recognized.

Supernatural S6 - Mannequin 3: The Reckoning

aka the episode where Amber thinks the Trickster will be back, even though she knows it's wishful thinking...

Ah, flashbacks first to the epic dump of dumps, and then Sammy's soulless story and the collapse!

Okay, I'm totally jaded because the whole visual of Sam's skin being on fire - not actually horrific enough for me.

And he's back. Yay?

This is not going to go well.

And now I giggle at the anatomy mannequin killing the guy.

It was funny, okay?!

"You shove it down and you let it come out in spurts of violence and alcoholism."

"That sounds healthy."

"Works for me!"

Boys! Really? Above conversation explains so much of what is wrong with you two...

Hello? Janitor? College? Trickster? Come on!

Dean really needs to stop playing with hearts, both real and plastic. It's kind of wrong.

Know why the mannequins kill? Because they're not anatomically correct. They've got no way to get out their urges but through penetrative acts with foreign objects.

*snort* Dean and the mannequin. Dean is the best. Of all things.

Oooh...see, I was doubting the whole Trickster thing because both guards were coming up clean, but now with the missing girl. Hope springs back to life!

And this is why Winchesters can't have girlfriends. They should stick to each other. And Castiel. And Gabriel. You know what I mean!

*If* I'm right, then I vote Johnny as the Trickster's diguise.

And everyone who knew Ben was lying, raise your hand. *hand goes up*

*smishes Dean and Lisa together*

Hmmm...maybe not then. Who knows? It could just be a vengeful ghost, or the sister's a witch!

Damn. Cold air. But I want Trickster! Let it go Amber, let it go....

Nope, nope. Wait! Trickster can fake the ghost bits, and 'kill you for being a dick!'

And now *I* want to kill these dicks. Whoever's doing it, good for them!

I really do love Ben. Awwwwwwwww....I....ISSUES. Damn adults fucking up kids lives.

My god Dean's a pretty man. Those *lips*. Yeah. Move along. No coherence to see here...

Uh. Doll! Look, I totally try not to judge people and their kinks, but I find the whole really really realistic sex dolls thing odd. Not that that one's particularly realistic, but it brought it to mind.

Okay, so it's not Johnny.

I'm 99% sure that was the sister going into the bar. So my vote's switched to the sister being a witch. Though I still want Trickster! *clings to the belief with grim determination*

The dead sister's possessing the living one? Maybe?

Oooohhh...kidney. That's...that's cool.

Not the car! "You leave my baby alone! She's got nothing to do with this!"

Oh noes! She totally stabbed herself. I mean, really, how else would that piece of glass do that?

*is disappointed* No Trickster...

"All we do is make a mess."

"That's not true!"

Um, actually, it sort of is. I mean, according to Death, you guys are chaos walking.

And I'm not 100% on that soul thing, Sam. That little hell flashback episode was way too understated. And what about the burning eyes? Yeah. I don't believe you...

preview!

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I love fourth wall shit.

Supernatural S6 - Unforgiven

Missed last week because our ISP crapped out on us. Bastards.

Okay, so today is all about Sam and the naughty bad things he did while being unSam.

Let me say this: Sam is an idiot. I mean, he's smart, I know. But this whole, 'let's ignore the giant warnings and poke at shit' thing is not smart. It's a family trait, to be sure, but not smart at all.

Ah, Evol Grampa!

You cannot tell me that Sam couldn't have taken the cop out without beating the shit out of him. He did that because he *liked* it. Eeeeevil.......

Dear Dean: in-a-pro-priate. I love you, but no.

Hah!

Oh, I'd have given money to see Sam in that stupid pirate hat.

Unrestrained Sam is a horn-dog.

Box o'wine. Does anyone really drink that crap?

Well that was ominous and insect-sounding-y.

Seesee? Cocoony stuff in the flashbacks!

Oh, I know this one! Sam used the sheriff as bait and he got killed and the wife brought Sam back to get her revenge!

Arachne's story is actually really fucked up and tragic. I like to use it to demonstrate how messed up the Greek/Roman pantheon were.

There's half my theory proved.

Oooh! Oooh! The arachne was making mates and Roy survives and is what's doing the killings!

Woah. Um. I got nuthin.

*grin* I win at life.

D'uh. Well, don't say Death didn't WARN YOU!

Okay. I know that was meant to be a serious ep preview and all, and I am so very much reading too much of what I want into things, but couldn't that be a Trickster kind of thing to do? I think so...

Supernatural S06E11 - Appointment in Samarra

DEATH! Okay, you know, I love Supernatural's incarnation of Death. Not the Reapers, though I like Tessa well enough - she reminds me a little of Death of the Endless (which I assume was intentional). But I *really* love Death himself. I have this vague idea that he and Chuck *combined* are god in Supernatural. If they're the same age and both are necessary for the universe - creation and destruction then one without the other is not god. So both are god, but only if both exist.

Anyway. I was curious about the title. So I committed an act of google. 'Appointment in Samarra' is a book from 1934. I think the important aspect here is the old folktale that is used as an epigraph in the book according to Wikipedia: 'A merchant in Baghdad sends his servant to the marketplace for provisions. Shortly, the servant comes home white and trembling and tells him that in the marketplace he was jostled by a woman, who he recognized as Death, and she made a threatening gesture. Borrowing the merchant's horse, he flees at top speed to Samarra, a distance of about 75 miles (125 km), where he believes Death will not find him. The merchant then goes to the marketplace and finds Death, and asks why she made the threatening gesture. She replies, "That was not a threatening gesture, it was only a start of surprise. I was astonished to see him in Baghdad, for I had an appointment with him tonight in Samarra."' The plot of the book might also be important - it apparently described the evens of three days where the main character gets more and more self destructive with a series of impulsive acts, culminating in his suicide.

Let's watch and find out!

Hi Balthazar-iphale!

God how I love the rumble of the Impala's engine!

Well this place look suitably icky. Doctor? That doesn't sound promising at all.

Dean's about to do a stupid thing.

You know, that chick looks kind of plastic-y to me. I'm just saying.

Dear Supernatural: Your money doesn't even look real.

Hey! He's mailing a letter to Ben! Yay paternalDean!

'He's dead.' But still the prettiest!

Hi Tessa! 'Why are you dead?'

*squee* Hello, Death. :)

Dean, do you really think Death can't just take back his ring whenever he wants?

Oh, hey, look, someone remembered Adam!

'Pick one.'

Dean, sweetie, bets with Death never end well. Never!

'Are you serious?'

'No, I'm being incredibly sarcastic.' The *face* Death makes.

Crap!

1-800-Dial-A-Angel

Again, hi Balthazar-iphale!

'Go ask your boyfriend.'

'Cas can't help me.'

He didn't mean Cas, Sam. He meant Gabriel! *Your* angel boyfriend.

Hmm...is anyone surprised that Sam is trying to do an end run around Dean's plan?

'Michael and Luci are hate-banging as we speak.'

'I'm not a fan of your brother. So screwing him would delight me.' Balthazar hates on Dean because Dean's banging Cas. And Balthazar totally wants to hit that.

'You need the blood of your father, but your father needen't be blood.' No Sam, no. Bad thoughts! No cookie! Keep off Bobby! You don't view him as your father anyway. That's Dean's issue.

'He's in agonising pain, right? Give me a minute.' Dean's a vicious bitch.

'Why?'

'Mostly because you're a dick. Enjoy the ride down, pal. Trust me, sauna gets *hot*.'

Hee. Dean as Death is cute.

Oh...yeah. We knew that was gonna happen. Ouch. *sniffle*

Anyone want to bet Jolene the Nurse dies? There has to be balance, right. So the little girl lives and Jolene gets added to the List. Or something like that.

'May have been born at night, boy. But it wasn't last night.'

Was Sam going to kill Bobby? Bastard. Though I have to admit that it does line up with the whole no soul personality. Eminently practical.

Oh! Oh! I just had a horrible thought! Dean as Death has to reap Bobby! So he takes off the ring! Ack! Say it ain't so...

Hah! Bobby is smarter than you!

No! Don't open the door! It's a *trap* dammit!

I WIN! Sorry Jolene...

Ah, this is gonna be one of those Dean learns a lesson eps.

He took the ring off! FAIL! No soul for Sammy. Well, we sort of knew it wasn't going to be that easy.

Can we now go back and rescue Bobby before Sam does something really very dumb? And utterly unforgivable.

And that has now totally freaked out that guy.

Poor kid...

Right then. Actually crying. I'm such a sap!

unSam needs a leash and a shock collar.

Yes! Sam deserved that sucker punch.

Sammy sans soul is a sociopath. Why does no one listen to me?

Death and Dean share taste in food. That's...kind of creepy.

You gotta love Dean's inability to keep his mouth shut in the face of all powerful beings who could slap him down like a mosquito.

Death's giving back the soul? Cool. I love the old school doctor's bag.

You know, I'm having a thought. Balthazar trades in souls, right? So aside from just screwing with Dean, if the kept Sam from being an available vessel for his soul then Balthazar could have claimed it, right? How valuable would Sam's soul be? It's not just your run of the mill boy next door soul. It's been in touch with an Archangel. Intimately. Died a few times, been to heaven, been to hell. Interesting...

Hellatus! I *hate* end of the year for this.

'VIRGINS SAM. VIRGINS.' - 1/28/11 *whimpers* What will I do without my crack fix?

Supernatural S06E10 - Caged Heat

Oh, hey newMeg! Guess who's gonna be on the show?

CROWLEY! ALL BOW BEFORE THE KING OF HELL! BOW, DAMMIT!

Ow! It's a shifter, of course.

I wonder who Crowley's sources are?

'Would've been cheaper to drop a castle on you.'

*pets Crowley**carefully*

Much love.

*ruhroh*

'juggling Crowley's orphans' - what does that even mean?

Duh. It's what any sensible person would do when they've effected a palace coup. Never leave any enemies behind you.

'Please. Don't pretend you don't enjoy it.' Yes. But only with Sam. Also, Sam's Houdini, remember?

Cas = insurance.

Think Meg might remember him from that whole face down in a ring of holy fire thingy?

Heee. It's the plot to Raiders of the Lost Arc. Which Cas will not know. How mad will he be when he finds out Sam's lying to him?

Why does no one get that Cas is *busy*?

Uh. NotSam? I'm not liking you so much anymore. DO NOT THREATEN CAS!

Geeze. Sam, really. Do not piss of the archangel. This will come back to bite you in the ass. I promise.

Go 'way grampa. We dun love you no more.

Huh. I was betting it had something to do with Mrs. Grandpa. But Mary works too. So...how did Mary wind up in Crowley's purview? Did her deal with Azazel damn her even though she didn't make a deal for her soul but for permission for Azazel to come into the house and mess with Sam.

Hee. I had this discussion with Pam at work. She's only on season 3 and she was asking if the Winchester's ever stopped making deals with demons. If they ever learned their lesson. And I laughed and told her to wait until she caught up. I said 'it's sort of a family tradition'.

OMG! Cas is watching porn!

'You're watching porn? Why?'

'Because it was there.'

'Great. Now he has a boner.'

*rofl* The look down! He looks sort of pissed and confused at it all at the same time! HAHAAAAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!! I may hurt something I'm laughing so hard.

'This is what you boys do? Sit around watching pornos with angels?'

'I'm not supposed to talk about it.'

Also, now the groups are even.

You know, notSam goes from being funny one ep and an annoying ass the next. Kind of like real Sam, but without the gooey center.

Why's everybody always picking on Cas? Come help us. Figure it out. Deal with it. We don't care that you're fighting a civil war. Blah. Blah. Blah. Same thing they do with Bobby. It's not nice boys!

Hey look it's a vamp! And the djinn chick! I like her. She's pretty.

Hellhounds!

Ew! And so. much. wrong.

'I learned that from the pizza man.'

'I feel so. clean.'

This is all some evil, nefarious plot. Why does anyone think letting Meg have an angel sword is a good idea? An angel killing sword I must add.

Of course he did. Dumbasses.

I still love Crowley! He's just so slick while he's being all evil.

This whole family is fucked in the head.

Dean's gonna kill his ass. Yay!

I wonder who makes all the demon killing ordinance. I mean, I know Colt made the Colt, but who made Ruby's knife?

Is Sam drinking his own blood? Is that really helpful, demonic power wise? That would imply a higher level of demonness than I had previously thought he possessed.

oh! Devil's trap! Much better than my idea.

Dude. notSam really is hard core. I wish I liked him better all the time.

'What're you laughing at?'

*stabby and demon-death effects*

'Dean Winchester's behind you. Meat sack.'

I am pleased. demon-Christian is dead.

Ack. I still don't want Crowley dead!

Crowley is a bad ass. He really is. Also, so is Cas.

*pouts* Really? No. I demand no. It's a trick! Since Crowley is really an angel that didn't work at all. *sticks head firmly into the river denial*

Does Meg still have the angel sword? I assume Christian took it from her. Hang on. I don't see it anywhere in the room, but still. I presume she didn't get to keep it.

Want to know how you can help Cas? Stop calling him for stupid shit.

Dean gets to be Death? Death is back? I am pleased. And still in denial about Crowley. It didn't happen.

Supernatural S06E09 - Clap Your Hands If You Believe

FIGHT THE FAIRIES!

This is either going to be a funny ep, or an ep that looks funny and then takes a very serious turn. Either way.

Dear teenagers: have you *never* seen a horror movie? Don't make out in the corn fields. And don't split up to investigate that shadowy thing you think you saw out of the corner of your eye.

Hee. UFO! Reminds me of Tall Tales. Trickster! Oh, how I miss you! Of course we all know there's not such thing as aliens in Supernatural world.

HAH! The opening title sequence is X-Files-esque!

'The Truth Is In There' - I assume this is going to mean something.

Oooh...it's the holodoc from Voyager.

'What, flying saucers not insane enough for ya? If you want to add glitter to that glue you're sniffing that's fine. But don't dump your wackadoo all over us. We'd rather not step in it.' - Okay, unSam is funny. I will admit to that.

Dean as anyone's conscience is actually not a good prospect. I love him, but his world view is a little askew.

'UFO! UFO! CLOSE ENCOUNTERS! CLOSE ENCOUNTERS!'

'I think the fourth kind is a butt thing.'

I love this entire sequence of Dean and Sam and the phone and the 'empathy!' and all that. Funny. And then he gets his beer and checks out the waitresses ass. Oh, unSam, what will we do with you?

lol It's not the same kind of hunting, unSam.

'It's fine. I mean. I've had time to adjust.'

'have you considered the possibility that you suck at hunting ufo's?'

Hee. Hi Dean!

Hah! I'm giggling so hard I think I might hurt something. unSam is kind of growing on me.

'they were grabby incandescent douchebags. good night.'

Maybe it's not fairies either! Maybe it's Loki's kids! *wishful thinking turned very much on*

'our realities collapsing around us and you're trying to pick up our waitress?'

*nods* 'yeah.'

'so you're saying suffering is a good thing.'

'i'm saying it's the only game in town.'

I had to rewind that. He does say 'nipples?' before the tiny fairy starts to kick his ass.

Also, ew.

'it was a little, glowing, *hot*, naked lady. and she hit me.'

'i'm not supposed to laugh, right?'

'D-dean? Did you...service Oberon, King of the Faeries?'

When Dean says 'interact', he means kill.

'FIGHT THE FAIRIES! YOU FIGHT THOSE FAIRIES! FIGHT THE FAIRIES!!!!!!!!'

Ugh. Okay, sanil, you were right. It is annoying that they are now running into people who can suddenly tell that unSam is missing his Sammy bits.

Yeah unSam, why *didn't* you do that earlier? Aren't you supposed to be the smart one?

And now for the serious brother talk.

And yes, yes he is having second thoughts. unSam is a terrible liar.

preview: IT'S HIATUS! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Hi new Meg! Hands off the angel. Bitch. That was Crowley there towards the end, screaming and all lit up from below with bright light. Hmmm...

Supernatural S06E08 - All Dogs Go To Heaven

aka Amber tries to watch Supernatural and comment and write fic at the same time. Let's see how that goes.

Oh hey, flashbacks! Guess what tonights ep is about? Werewolves...

CROWLEY.........

Crowley's Angels edition!

I know this guy is talking about a dog, and it's still weird and a little creepy.

Okay, the giant pig sign amuses me! Three pigs!

Crowley! Yes, go give Bobby a kiss Crowley.

Oh god, Sam's bitch face! Stop trying to emote! It doesn't work without a soul!

I can see how this is going to go. Crowley shows up and my brain goes mushy and all I get is...WHEEEEEEE CROWLEY! SPARKLIES!

You know, how many demons can do that whole pop in, pop out thing? I think Azazel could, and maybe Lilith. Crowley could do it since we first met him. I don't think that's a common demon power. So he was kind of high up on the food chain before, methinks.

No Sam, you're a Sam shaped hole right about now.

Wow. Sam, honey? Really? That's douchey, even for you.

Why does not having a soul make you not sleep?

Hey, writers, smash the whole brothers having issues thing in our face why doncha?

Who wants to bet the girlfriend is there werewolf? Not just the wolf, but the Alpha. Any takers?

mmmmmmmmmmm....I *LOVE* the Impala's engine. *grrrrrrrrumblerumblerumble* Muscle cars....

Huh? Is the German Shepherd the- Yes. Yes he is. Darn. I was hoping it was the girlfriend. Oooh....dog/wolf boy has a crush on mommy...that is both cute and disturbing.

Pretty dog....I love German Shepherds.

The dog is going to eat you two alive!

Sam. Stop it. You're being an ass. And the whole 'I don't have a soul' thing only takes you so far.

So if dog-guy is getting yelled at, not the Alpha. Still creepy, mind. Maybe...kid is the offspring of Alpha and dog boy is supposed to be bodyguarding? Am I making more of this than there needs to be? Probably.

Dear Sam: You cannot outrun that dog. I don't care what actually happens

ACK! NO! Supernatural, I don't care that he's a weredog and that no dog is actually being hurt. I don't like seeing animals get hurt even when it's fake! Cut it out! I had so much trouble with that ep with the girl living in the walls who ate the dog!

Oh, this whole sleeper cell thing disapoints me. I liked my idea better.

Sniper Dean makes me happy!

Okay, no one shoot Lucky!

Boys and girls, there's a doberman and a wolf. They are the badguys.

NO! BAD BAD GUY! GET LUCKY TO A VET DAMMIT!

SAM, I SWEAR IF YOU DO IT I WILL NEVER, EVER FORGIVE YOU! AND THAT'S AFTER FIVE FUCKING YEARS!

Yeah. Even the lady sees you're a freak.

Dean saved Lucky. Just saying.

Umm...I want Lucky and the nice lady to date. I know that's not gonna happen, but still. I want it.

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW*sniffles* Poor doggie....

Yeah. I want realSammy back too.

preview: FIGHT THE FAIRIES! *giggle* This could be a cute ep, or bloody, depending on how they go. The fae are...not fluffy in the traditional stories.

Supernatural S06E07 - Family Matters

We all get that the title works on two levels, right?

Family Matters as in internal family issues. And Family Matters as in family is important.

Thought so. Let it begin!

Ah, the beat down. Still awesome. :D

Hi Cas! You're fuzzy...

Dean is not amused.

Also, a year without sleep? Hell.

Sam has no emotions. But he kind of fakes them badly.

Dude! Did that red lava-crack thing happen to the kid Cas did that to? I don't remember it being like that.

No. As in, there's nothing there. No soul! Where'd he lose it?

'I'm sorry. One more time. Like I'm five.'

How'd whoever it was get the body out without the soul?

No, Sam, sorry. You're totally a psycho. Really.

Huh? Sam is now Houdini? How's about Cas beat him down now! No, not *fix* him. *Hit* him.

A clue! It's like the Scooby gang! Also, I just had a thought. They should never take Cas to the Compound.

Hey! I said no Cas at the Compound!

'You're scrawnier than I pictured.'

'This is a vessel. My true form is approximately the size of your Chrysler building.'

'Yeah yeah. Quit bragging.'

'Angel cavity search.' lol...

So Samuel has a soul. That just makes him a patsy. Or a bastard. Depending on how this all falls out.

'Of course. Your problems always come first.' Umm. Yeah. Dean, that was Cas telling you you're an ass. Take note.

Oh hey! I know where I recognized the black guy from the previews last week. He's the alpha vamp! So...not Raphael.

I dislike the Campbells, generally. They all seem a little nuts. And not in the good Winchester-y way.

oohhh...don't mention Lisa. Especially do not call her a slut. That's the mother of his child you're talking about!

Hey Dean, sweetie? I give you permission to kill Christian. A lot.

Yup. I hate the Campbells.

sneaky sounds in the woods! and damn. for a minute I thought that vamp might have been Christian. Bugger.

Dean does not play well with others who are not Sam. Or Cas.

Yes! zee vision!

Creepy girls are creepy. Little girl vamps anywhere?

What're they doing with these alpha guys?

Liars. Sam, honey, please don't lie to Dean again.

Oh, hey. Looks like we're gonna talk.

I don't like notSam. Yes, you're back to being notSam.

Oh good god the daddy issues on this show.

notSam's finding things out from Samuel. I suspect this. He might even get to graduate back to Sam if this plays out that way. Otherwise, notSam forever!

Nobody puts notSammy in a corner!

Yay! I shall return to calling you Sam. For now.

Waitwaitwait. I just realized. If this ep is gonna be all about Samuel and the alpha dohickies, then we're not gonna find out what the hell is up with Sam the Soulless Boy Wonder!

Christian = too dumb to live. Clearing a room means checking behind the things in the room. Especially those large enough to, oh, I don't know. Hide people.

Where's what?

Huh. You don't seem to be having much of an effect on alphavampdaddy there Samuel. Perhaps Dean should give you some torture pointers.

Dude. The electricity doesn't seem to be working. Maybe you should TRY SOMETHING ELSE.

Monster momma? Please tell me there's not a 'momma' out there giving birth to all the monsters. That's...that's like something.

Samuel's looking for the location of purgatory? What in the hell for?

'Well if the old man's Kermit, whose hands up his ass?'

Howdy!

By the way, I love Dean's gun. It's pretty...

Yay! *claps* Christian's dead!

holyshit! CROWLEY!

HA! Crowley's the one pulling the strings!

THAT IS AWESOME!

CROWLEYCROWLEYCROWLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!

'Purgatory is vast, underutilised and hell adjacent. And I want it.'

But how did he resurrect Samuel? Unless Samuel was in hell...or Crowley isn't a demon!

And Crowley has Sam's soul? OMG! CROWLEY!

Hee! I'm not certain you'd get that big a power jump just by being the biggest fish in the pond. I believe there's more to this than what we've been told. But the Crowley stuff pleases me. MOAR CROWLEY! I still don't want him to get killed though.

Dude. Sam. Take a breath. Samuel's screwed all on his own.

'We could stab him in his throat.' Ah, Dean.

BOYS.

preview: CROWLEY! Sniper Dean! Also, hello misplaced voice over promo. A new ep of SPN is not upcoming. It has just ended. But MISHA!voice!

Smallville S10E06 - Harvest

This whole Vigilante Registrations Act thing? Is such a rip off of the Marvel storyline. Moving on.

I like the run down of all the weird things and how Clark's all...'Kryptonian.' over and over again.

I can't figure out what Lois is saying when she's whining about Clark getting them assigned to the cherry festival. It sort of sounds like 'chop-block' but that doesn't make any sense...

Of course there's no reception. This is supposed to be a kind of creepy horror ep I assume. Being so close to Halloween and all.

Lois, honey, have you ever seen Children of the Corn? Yeah.

*snicker* I do like Clark and Lois as a couple. Mostly because Lois is so sarcastic and snarky and Clark's just plain whipped.

And oh, hey, look, Lois had horse and buggy girl have disappeared.

You know, they pulled over almost right next to the horse and buggy. There's a sign propped against the buggy so it's not like she just drove up. Clark should have seen it and not done super-changing the tire tricks. Moving on from the blatant issue...

Hey look, commercial for Supernatural! I need to go watch the beat down again when I'm done with Smallville.

Clark! If there was no service before, there's still going to be no service!

Oooh...magic must be afoot. Clark's cut and bleeding.

And the deputy is suspicious acting. It's like every horror movie ever.

And how did you miss the primitive stop stick, super sight?

*throws hands in the air* From 'you're a suspect' one second to, 'ooohhh...buggy tracks! you must be right!' the next. I think people in tv land are just dumb...

And another thing! Why'd Clark superspeed right back up to the car? The girl could have still been there and how're you going to explain that?

And why, if Lois left willingly, did she leave the car door ajar?

Hey! 'Ruth' is Mrs. Evil God from 'A Very Supernatural Christmas'!

Did Tess buy friends for Alexander?

Alexander is creepy. Really he is.

And Tess, I think you're too late.

Blue kryptonite. I guess it's not magic. Whatever.

And, hey, look, of course the deputy's in on it! One of us! One of us!

Look, Lex is gonna escape. Color me shocked.

Didn't they already say at the beginning that the clones have Lex's memories? So why is she surprised that Alexander knows the S symbol of the House of El? I mean sure, maybe it's all jumbled up, but it's all in there.

Dear Tess: You're kind of an idiot. I know you mean well, but he's actually a tiny, evil genius. You should act accordingly.

Oh, look, human sacrifice! Again, shock. Really.

See, lines like that are *always* creepier when delivered by cute little kids. It's why they do it!

Who leaves people unbound in houses where they might be able to escape? Stupid villains, that's who.

Is this the ep where Lois proves she's tough? Cause we kind of all already knew that.

Hi Clark! You are a muscley hunk of man, aren't you? But I actually think Padalecki is more ripped.

See? Lex's memories. But all twisty.

Also, creepy kid! I keep telling you! Kids are *creepy*!

Hey! Tess just slapped the evil kid! For a second there I like you better. And then you got on your knees beginning the little psycho. Never a good plan.

S'up with the scarecrow masks?

Ack!

Though, you know, Clark's hair looks kind of awesome as he's laying on his side bleeding to death.

How'd they manage to set the meteor on fire? *That's* a neat trick.

'Our lord has shown us the light'

He Who Walks Behind the Rows!

So has that meteor been burning for 20 years? Why?

Lois, you can't reason with fanatics.

'Faith has nothing to do with blindly following this misguided messiah. I believe in knowing right from wrong.'

Huh? What just happened? With the blue and then flowing yellow? *is confused* Clearly Clark has his powers back. Maybe...immunity?

Hi Clark with a shotgun!

So...not all his powers? He healed, and the blue kryptonite fire didn't kill him... But he's not all super...

*giggle* I really do love Lois!

Hey, it's messiah Clark! Cause Superman wasn't enough of a messianic figure before. Everybody remember the falling from the end of last season? Yeah.

Oh, hey, super speed. So his power *are* all back. It just didn't look like he was superspeedy when he ran to save Lois. Plus, if he had been, they would have avoided the fire all together. So the powers came back on line slowly I guess.

Except now Alexander is Lex. And we don't want him cured.

Oooh! Hey, I know who the doc is now! Lexia Doig! She's Michael Shanks' wife. I knew I recognised her from somewhere.

That reminds me. I think Katee Sackoff was on CSI this week. *totters off to check* Yep! I liked her detective. I hope they can bring her back.

Oh, hey, look, Lois and Clark are having sex. Anyone ever read that whole Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex 'article' by Larry Niven? I can never unthink those thoughts.

Is it...not quite. But at the rate he's aging, they *could* bring back Michael Rosenbaum. Please? Please please please? With sugar on top?

And now to rewatch the beat down! Ta!

Supernatural S06E06 - You Can't Handle the Truth

In which we get answers. Come hell or high water!

Oh! Before we start, I just heard that there'll be a Supernatural anime! 22 eps of bishie Dean and Sam! Bishie Cas maybe?

Okay, gah. That smirk on not-Sam's face when Dean's being vamped? Still creepy and wiggy.

And on that note I will never eat in a restaurant again.

Wow. That little kid is a serial killer. The hell.

Yay blood splatter! I'm sick. I know.

'Screw him.' Oh, Dean. We all know you have.

Bull shit. You drove her to suicide. I mean, it wasn't your fault, I think, cause there's mojo going on. But still. You cannot lie to not-Sam.

Dude. not-Sam's got bitch-smug face going on. Stop it not-Sam.

OMG. Dentist guy! You're- that's actually *wrong*. Not the dentist killing the guy for molesting his daughter, obviously. But the molesting. I'd totally kill him too.

Dean needs hugs!

Look, when Dean volunteers to do the research? Things are wrong.

Dear Dean: If you don't at least leave the page you're on before you put the computer on standby then when it's opened again that page will show up. And not-Sam will know. Kay?

Gabriel's Horn! Okay, not really. But you know. It's there somewhere. Which means...Balthazar? Threesome!

This scene! 'You dick!' *loves* Pour your honey a drink. He's going to need it. Then jump him! Emotional scenes go better with sex! Hey, Cas needs hugs too! If Cas and Dean hug, then they both get the hugs they need!

'What're you talking about, you were gone for like two seconds. Where'd you look?'

'Everywhere.' *grin*

So if it's not Gabriel's Horn, what is it? 

I swear after listening three times that the dentists name is Dr. Giggles. I swear that's what not-Sam says.

And Dean's in a bar. Really Dean? Not actually helpful. I find the tv lady suspicious.

Ack! Dean said a truth-based sentence! Doom! Doom! Danger Dean Winchester!

LOL! Oh Dean.

Oh god, Bobby likes Tori Spelling! And the pedicure story! I had to rewind because while Bobby was taking off his boot I thought he said 'this nice Vietnamese boy' And Dean's his favorite! Hee!

Oooh...could a ghost be doing it? The 'patient zero'?

Ack! Lisa! Dean don't go there!

Umm....Lisa? Dear? I like you much less than I did a minute ago. Don't mess with the Sam/Dean relationship!

Grrr. You know, one friend and I were arguing whether or not Lisa had what it took. If she could develop into an 'Ellen' type woman. The answer is definitely NO. Lisa's too much of a...I can't think of any word that's not extremely derogatory here.

Bullshit not-Sam! I don't believe you! I think you might be immune to the mojo. We all saw that smirk! Lying liar who lies! LIAR!

Hey! Who wants to bet me the chick on the tv is the goddess? I WIN!

oohh..glowey eyes! Always a sign of evilness!

I like her car though...

Who lives in houses like that? All that glass front. I hate that.

Hi kitties!

The 'creep' is always downstairs. Always.

See?

Is she pulling out his...yes. Yes she is. I wonder what the prop department used for that? And how many takes it took...

Of course it would take a goddess to make them tell the truth. *headdesk*

'he's being me.' Um...yes. But there's more to it. There has to be. Cause of the smirk!

See! He's immune! I knew it!

Tell us what the fuck is going on!

*flail*

YA THINK?

Seriously? Dean. Punch him. A lot.

YES! I JUST CLAPPED AND MADE A SOUND THAT ONLY DOGS CAN HEAR IT WAS THAT HIGH PITCHED! I KNOW IT'S BAD BUT HOLY HELL DID SAM DESERVE THAT!

preview: Cas is doing that soul touching thing. Wait, what? Sam's soul is gone? How's that even work? Is the black guy threatening Sam Raphael? I'm going to assume that he is. So...if Sam came back without a soul then I'm not feeling the whole Chuck brought him back thing. If Chuck brought him back I'd think he'd remember to put the soul in...

Smallville S10E05 - Isis

Ooohhh. So Lois accidentally stole the necklace way back in Egypt. Then how'd no one notice until it got time to display it? Don't they have manifests?

Hey! It's Jo for Eureka! Hi crossover actor.

Helmet? Their insurance doesn't cover the grappling gun. Yes, practical considerations.

Green Arrow Girls?

The curator's name is Adrianna? Who wants to bet me her last name is Tomaz? Hi comics shout out!

Can we give Ollie a sidekick? Name him Roy Harper and call him Speedy? I think it'd be like giving him a puppy. Something to watch out for and take care of. Not that he did so well with Roy in the comics of course...

Why does Lois sometimes dress like a nut? I mean I get it in the context of the show, but who would wear that outfit? Why theme dress up to cover the event? Is it a costume museum exhibit? No. No it is not. So why? Not that she doesn't pull off the outfit, of course. But still.

Well, Lois really needs to clean out her purse more obviously.

On an unrelated note, I love Tim Gunn.

Of course Ollie speaks Egyptian.

Heh. Clark can always one up his own big news.

'she dumped you.'

'hey! we broke up!'

And the epic love of Clark and Lois is mentioned.

It's cute that Lois is trying to be domestic. Well as domestic as she gets anyway. She brought donuts.

And I still hate Cat.

Hey Lois! You do kind of look/sound like all you're wearing is the jacket and the boots.

Someone make Ms. Perky go away!

Geeze Lois, just pee on the whole area why don't you?

Wow. Apparently being possessed by Isis blows off a buttoned and tied coat *and* redoes your make-up. Who knew?

Confused Clark is cute.

See? If you could fly you could follow her, dufus.

Really Clark. You're an idiot apparently.

I have to agree with Ollie here. Tess cannot be trusted. At all.

So she's been searching for thousands of years and his heart that Set made sure she could *never find* just happens to be in Metropolis?

Oh, Cat. Such a moron.

I loved her cat eyes!

Dear Tess: Sending Alexander to a mental health facility will not end well. He's Lex and you do not need him resenting you later for this.

Tess will kill you to cover for Clark. She's that level of crazy.

It's cute when she laughs Cat out of the office.

Cat's so earnest and stupid all at once. How does she manage that?

Tess needling Ollie is also amusing. She finishes his sentences.

Again, why make the leap from priest of Osiris to actual Osiris? Meh. Comics logic taken to it's worst extreme here.

So who took Osiris' body and replaced it with dirt? Carter? Would he have known who it was? Or Seth?

And here's the lecture on love from a crazy goddess.

Nice speech. But here's the thing. You won't be bearing the cost for resurrecting Osiris. The rest of the world will.

And there's Clark being vulnerable to magic.

I am confused as to how this will bring back Osiris. If she doesn't have the body she can't reunite the heart with it. I could see if she was sacrificing Clark to reanimate the body once it was all together, but no body, no...oh. Hey, exposition explains it. So Osiris' body turned to dirt? Ummm...hello embalming anyone? The Egyptians were kind of awesome at it and have you seen the depictions of Osiris? He's a mummy. Anyway. *sticks fingers in ears* lalalaaaaaaaaaa

Oh! 'Teth-Adam' Hi Black Adam! And Kahndaq. You get to be dictator there for a while!

Hee! Why's there always an empty sarcophagus around when you need one?

When did someone put the heart back in the canopic jar?

Also, dear villains: please do not monologue. Just do your evil bit. Monologue allows the hero to get one over on you. See 'Evil Overlord List'.

Funnily enough I miss nothing about Chole. Move on and get with Dinah!

Tess as Watchtower. There's no way this ends well.

Huh. So Lex is staying with Tess. I see no way that this ends well either. He totally needs to be watched. Budding super villain here! But I admit that the face of evil is adorable at this stage.

OW! Cat stabbed Lois! Clark you should have let Lois punch her! *sigh* Cat's such an idiot. She had to spell out sex? Really? She does have a son. She somehow managed to have sex but be unable to say it?

*squee* The Clark tells Lois/Finds out Lois knew all along scene? A-freakin-dorable! Her little run and tackle? Yeah.

Though I do wanna know what they're shredding at the Planet that leaves big round gold confetti lying around.

Supernatural S06E05 - Live Free or Twihard

Are they going to kill sparkly vamps? Cause that would make me really, really happy.

Okay, first? I respect everyones right to express themselves how they like, re: tattoos, piercings and the like. However, I do not get it. I find it unattractive when pierced in the face, etc.

Hey, guy kinda looks like Tom Welling. He's *not*, but I think he kind of looks like him when he was younger.

How much you wanna bet he's not a vampire? But she is. Preying on the Twi-hard-morons.

Meh. Okay I was wrong about that. You know, I like that Supernatural's vamps look more like the 30 Days of Night vamps. All the teeth. :)

Oh Lisa. Still cute. Why do I like you so much?

'these aren't vampires, man, these...these are douchebags.' and Dean sums up the Twilight pile o'crap in one sentence.

'he's watching her sleep. how is that not rape-y?' YES! Really.

Efficient vamps are efficient.

Also, if Dean is turned, how are they gonna change him back?

Biker boys kiss! Oh, SPN, you just made me go a little splodey! *pause for rewind*

Dude. Is Dean gonna get vamped because he's the prettiest?

THE. FUCK. SAM!

WHAT IN THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU ASSHOLE?

*splutter* Sam was totally into it, I mean, really, did you see the look on his face? That's not Sam. It's not. It *can't* be.

Oh Dean, sweetie. That is a bad idea. I mean I get it, but still. BAD. IDEA.

ZOMG. DEAN IS STILL THE HOTTEST! SMOULDERING LOOKS APLENTY!

And...creepy 600 yo is hitting on Dean so hard.

I think daddy's pissed.

Huh.

Oh, look creepy twin girls. Hi Stephen King!

That was sufficiently trippy.

Dean. Pretty and bad ass. I need a cap of him backing away on the balcony with the machete. That was gorgeous.

Yeah Dean. There's something seriously fucking wrong with Sam.

This whole scene is painful. Really. That is not Sam. I don't know what is going on, but that's not Sam.

preview: Hi Cas! I'm thrilled about seeing you, but more pleased that we'll be getting an explanation about WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH SAM WHO IS NOT SAM! He let his brother get raped while he watched and SMILED!

Smallville S10E04 - Homecoming

I'm tired, so all you get is:

JAMES MARSTERS! PLEASE CAN I HAVE YOUR BABIES?


Okay, I lied. Also, floating! Which is a step away from ACTUAL FLIGHT YOU MORON! And don't think you can get away with saying futureClark flew and call it all good, show. OUR Clark must fly! And have Batman.

Preview: Sooo...Isis. Does that mean Black Adam? I *like* Black Adam. Which would also necessitate Captain Marvel. Billy Batson! Whee!

NOW FREAKING GIVE ME BATMAN YOU IDIOTS! YOU'RE PUTTING IN BLOODY ISIS! NO ONE KNOWS WHO THE HELL ISIS IS BUT *ME* AND OTHER NERDS OF MY OBSESSIVE CALIBRE!