Welcome to the South - Or, I'm Pretty Sure I'm Not a Feminist

I've wibbled back and forth over what to name this post, or even if I should write it. But here we go anyway.

I'm from the South, born and raised. And it's not like I lived in Big Cities or anything. We're talking little towns where everyone knows everyone else and we all know each others business.

I grew up the way I grew up, and this is what seems normal to me. Yes, I went through a long period where I hated men and just basically wished they would all die. But I've never called myself a feminist. There are certain attitudes, certain behaviors that I expect from men and women - it's the way things are. Some of these things are not 'compatible' with 'feminism', as I've been told. I expect men to hold doors for me because I am a girl. I expect to be called 'ma'am' until we know each other well enough for you to use my first name. I am not insulted, however, when a Good Ol' Boy calls me 'hon' or 'sugah' or 'darlin' or some variation thereof. They're Good Ol' Boys, and that's what they do. I expect that, if a man wishes to date, he will approach the woman. No well raised Southern girl will ask a man out. It is just not done. That's for those Yankee women. I expect that, prior to marriage, a man will ask his girlfriends father (or available father figure, as applicable) for permission to ask her to marry him. Men get grooms cakes at weddings. Women call all men 'sir' unless they know each other well enough to use names. Women cook and do the dishes at big family get togethers. Period. After a big holiday meal, such as Thanksgiving or Christmas, the men retire to the living room or patio or what have you and the women clean up and pack up. Stay out of the way, please. You'll only get in the way.

But all of that is cultural. I was raised in a certain culture and that's the norm for me. Anything else seems weird and wrong. We always talk about Yankees and how they're raised badly down here. They're always so loud and in a rush and harsh as compared to us Southerners who are sweet and genteel and know how things work.

Do I think women have the right to vote, to work outside the home and be paid equally to men who do the same jobs with the same experience? Yes. But I don't think that makes me a feminist. More of a humanist since I think that rights apply to people no matter their race, gender, sexual orientation, religion or anything else for that matter.