http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AoRHoxN4KKo
Star Trek funnies!
Quick! Dive! Dive! Go watch it before Youtube yanks it again!
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Name Changing...
So, as some might be aware, the man I call 'Dad' on here is not, in fact, my father. He's technically my step-father.
My Baby Sis and I still have the last name of my adoptive father (who I refer to as step-father or giant flaming jackass, depending on my mood...) who is her natural father.
My mother has brought up that she would like us to change our last names to Dad's.
Now, I don't really have any problem with that, I've been trying to get rid of G.F.J.'s last name for *years* but Mom asked me not to because she wanted my sister and I to have the same last name.
I'm just...do you think it's weird? She wants to do this as sort of a surprise 'Christmas present'. So, of course, in that vein, we can't *ask* him what he thinks, or it'd stop being a 'surprise'.
My Baby Sis and I still have the last name of my adoptive father (who I refer to as step-father or giant flaming jackass, depending on my mood...) who is her natural father.
My mother has brought up that she would like us to change our last names to Dad's.
Now, I don't really have any problem with that, I've been trying to get rid of G.F.J.'s last name for *years* but Mom asked me not to because she wanted my sister and I to have the same last name.
I'm just...do you think it's weird? She wants to do this as sort of a surprise 'Christmas present'. So, of course, in that vein, we can't *ask* him what he thinks, or it'd stop being a 'surprise'.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Very Important Lessons Learned From 'Paranormal Activity'
Right, so, I actually knew these before, but this movie is like a run down of a list of things one should not do.
1. If things start moving around on their own in your house, do not treat it like a party trick.
2. If you're hearing a phantom growl? Seek help, of the priestly variety, if you please. (Or pastor, if you don't have priests...)
3. Video taping to try and catch the phenomena for proof is okay, but trying to encourage the activity is a no no.
4. Do not, under any and all circumstances, bring a Ouija board into the house!
5. If you happen to have one, don't use it! As a matter of fact, get it out of the house!
6. Don't *talk* to the entity.
7. For the love of all that is good and holy, DON'T TAUNT THE ENTITY! Don't dare it, don't egg it on, don't stand in any place near/in/around your house and shout, 'Is that all you got?' or any variation thereof. Because the answer is no, no, that's not all it's got, and it will proceed to chuck you down (or up, as the case may be) the stairs for your temerity.
8. When a psychic you've hired to 'take care of the ghost' (cause you didn't listen to point 2 about the clergy) tells you it's not a ghost, and gives you the phone number of a demonologist, TAKE THE HINT!
9. Don't burn religious items in the house. I mean, you shouldn't do that ever, at all, but, y'know, timing, really?
~~~
Okay, so, this's a fictional movie, obviously, but all the stuff that happened in it? Real phenomena. All the mistakes made? Real mistakes. Seriously. There are certain things one does not wish to fuck with. This'd be one.
1. If things start moving around on their own in your house, do not treat it like a party trick.
2. If you're hearing a phantom growl? Seek help, of the priestly variety, if you please. (Or pastor, if you don't have priests...)
3. Video taping to try and catch the phenomena for proof is okay, but trying to encourage the activity is a no no.
4. Do not, under any and all circumstances, bring a Ouija board into the house!
5. If you happen to have one, don't use it! As a matter of fact, get it out of the house!
6. Don't *talk* to the entity.
7. For the love of all that is good and holy, DON'T TAUNT THE ENTITY! Don't dare it, don't egg it on, don't stand in any place near/in/around your house and shout, 'Is that all you got?' or any variation thereof. Because the answer is no, no, that's not all it's got, and it will proceed to chuck you down (or up, as the case may be) the stairs for your temerity.
8. When a psychic you've hired to 'take care of the ghost' (cause you didn't listen to point 2 about the clergy) tells you it's not a ghost, and gives you the phone number of a demonologist, TAKE THE HINT!
9. Don't burn religious items in the house. I mean, you shouldn't do that ever, at all, but, y'know, timing, really?
~~~
Okay, so, this's a fictional movie, obviously, but all the stuff that happened in it? Real phenomena. All the mistakes made? Real mistakes. Seriously. There are certain things one does not wish to fuck with. This'd be one.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
The Kinder Report Day 6
*sigh* Okay, just a quickie because I'm on my way out the door to see a movie with a friend. I feel bad updating and not responding to comments or other peoples new posts first, but I want to do it before I forget and I promise to respond to everybody later.
Class went well, we read the Gospel which was Mark 10: 35-45. Our word was 'faith'. :)
I did not screw up anything, thank God. I had the kids pray the Our Father and the Hail Mary without their sheets (mostly). We need to work on silence and respect and the proper way to behave when someone else is praying out loud. Crossing ourselves also needs to be addressed. The kids rush through it. We did our letters, and went around the room for 'best things of the week'. It was a little more chaotic than normal because (I think) having a temporary teacher distracted some of them.
At snack time I handed out the coloring sheets I'd found, it was Jesus stopping the storm, and that took us to the end of class. I am tired and achy, but the ache is from over doing it in the yard yesterday, and so's the tired, cause I kept twinging my back in my sleep and I don't take pain killers soooo....
Anyway, typing it out it seems like not much, but really, we fill an hour and a half with learning!
Off to see Paranormal Activity. The reviews tell me that it will make me pee my pants and be afraid to sleep and shower alone. If it does not deliver, I shall be miffed. (Less so on the peeing of pants thing...)
Class went well, we read the Gospel which was Mark 10: 35-45. Our word was 'faith'. :)
I did not screw up anything, thank God. I had the kids pray the Our Father and the Hail Mary without their sheets (mostly). We need to work on silence and respect and the proper way to behave when someone else is praying out loud. Crossing ourselves also needs to be addressed. The kids rush through it. We did our letters, and went around the room for 'best things of the week'. It was a little more chaotic than normal because (I think) having a temporary teacher distracted some of them.
At snack time I handed out the coloring sheets I'd found, it was Jesus stopping the storm, and that took us to the end of class. I am tired and achy, but the ache is from over doing it in the yard yesterday, and so's the tired, cause I kept twinging my back in my sleep and I don't take pain killers soooo....
Anyway, typing it out it seems like not much, but really, we fill an hour and a half with learning!
Off to see Paranormal Activity. The reviews tell me that it will make me pee my pants and be afraid to sleep and shower alone. If it does not deliver, I shall be miffed. (Less so on the peeing of pants thing...)
Friday, October 16, 2009
Hijab, Cars, and Class - What Do These Things Have In Common?
So, I was thinking. Shush. Don't act so shocked.
I have a passing familiarity with this thing you people call a 'speed limit'. It's not that I'm a bad driver, certainly, I was taught to drive by my grandfather, who was a cop and worked with the FBI. I'm a *good* driver. I've been in one accident, and they hit me while I was sitting still. However, I do tend to drive at, what has been called, 'ludicrous speed' as opposed to 'light speed' ($20 of imaginary money if you get the movie reference).
When I moved, I had to start taking a different way to work, and this involved a windy road. I slowed down. I was scared, a little. I could feel the car shifting under me, and was convinced that I was going to flip if I went even a little over the limit. That was...two years ago? I speed on it now. (Note: I'm not encouraging speeding. I know I shouldn't, and I try to not go as fast as I used to, but it's *hard*.) I'm not scared anymore. It was new, I had to adjust. And I did.
Same thing with hijab. I was nervous, I was twitchy, I talked myself out of it a couple times. A little less than a month later, I'm not nervous.
I'm actually sitting at work, in my hijab.
I'm still not full time. I wear it when I feel the need, and cover in other ways other times.
People've been *friendlier*, which is weird. And work people just joke. They all agree it looks lovely. (Of course, my one friend insists that I need to walk ten paces behind him now, but he's kidding, really.)
Now, this Sunday is my first day teaching the class without Deb. I usually let her lead since she has much more experience with kids, but she has to attend a meeting for her kids who are in pre-Confirmation classes. So it's me and a 'temp' who works in the front office. I'm nervous. I'm afraid she's going to think I don't know what I'm doing.
Soo....that's where I'm at.
Sitting at work in hijab, worrying about teaching class. *sigh*
I have a passing familiarity with this thing you people call a 'speed limit'. It's not that I'm a bad driver, certainly, I was taught to drive by my grandfather, who was a cop and worked with the FBI. I'm a *good* driver. I've been in one accident, and they hit me while I was sitting still. However, I do tend to drive at, what has been called, 'ludicrous speed' as opposed to 'light speed' ($20 of imaginary money if you get the movie reference).
When I moved, I had to start taking a different way to work, and this involved a windy road. I slowed down. I was scared, a little. I could feel the car shifting under me, and was convinced that I was going to flip if I went even a little over the limit. That was...two years ago? I speed on it now. (Note: I'm not encouraging speeding. I know I shouldn't, and I try to not go as fast as I used to, but it's *hard*.) I'm not scared anymore. It was new, I had to adjust. And I did.
Same thing with hijab. I was nervous, I was twitchy, I talked myself out of it a couple times. A little less than a month later, I'm not nervous.
I'm actually sitting at work, in my hijab.
I'm still not full time. I wear it when I feel the need, and cover in other ways other times.
People've been *friendlier*, which is weird. And work people just joke. They all agree it looks lovely. (Of course, my one friend insists that I need to walk ten paces behind him now, but he's kidding, really.)
Now, this Sunday is my first day teaching the class without Deb. I usually let her lead since she has much more experience with kids, but she has to attend a meeting for her kids who are in pre-Confirmation classes. So it's me and a 'temp' who works in the front office. I'm nervous. I'm afraid she's going to think I don't know what I'm doing.
Soo....that's where I'm at.
Sitting at work in hijab, worrying about teaching class. *sigh*
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
B&W, W&O Chapter 2: Orthodoxy- A Relationship With God
Christianity is not a philosophy, not a doctrine, but life. - Archimandrite Sophrony
So, in the first section of this chapter the author asserts that in the beginning of life a person has an impersonal relationship with God. Simple identifying characteristics: Creator and the created. Nothing else. At baptism, the relationship becomes personal. 'In a personal relationship, each person has a name and is recognized when called by that name....just as the person dies and rises again in the water, God's name is revealed, but so too is the name of the person being baptized. God now has a way of getting out attention: He can call us by name.'
Since, in Orthodoxy as well as in Catholicism baptism is likely to occur in infancy, awareness of this relationship comes as the child grows. It's (in an Orthodox household) something that one grows up with. Mom, Dad and God. (How awesome is that?) The relationship ebbs and flows with each persons life. Sometimes its smoothe, sometimes we make progress, sometimes we fall down flat on our faces. But the end goal is always the same. Union with God. Theosis/deification.
From there the author wants to define 'identity'. In the fallen world, the mind is (mainly) the thing we hear the most. Identity is a form of labeling. The mind loves it, and starts doing it very early on. 'I' am not 'other'. 'I' am this storyline that I perceive. 'I want' - we don't like to share, at two or forty two. We want it because we desire it - it'll add to our experience, to our story. Give our minds something else to go on about.
But the heart, the heart neither wants nor fears. As opposed to 'I want', the heart exists in 'I am'. 'People who are able, albeit briefly, to live in (or through) their hearts, rather than their mind, experience life from a place of great stillness. They find their feelings of alienation, loneliness, and the desperate need for certainty which accompanies their normal life just drop away.'
As we grow, we continue to relate in 'me' 'not-me' terms. However, we also realize that there is something else, something greater and stranger than all the 'not-me's out there. That, we identify, as Creator/God - a simple Power. So far beyond 'not-me' that comprehension fails. It's a Mystery.
The author then goes into relating to God as person or Power, which I covered here. The end result is this: we cannot relate to God simply as a Power for long. It's not a relationship which can be sustained. One must either move past this simplistic understanding of God, or live in fear of the Power forever.
Without quoting the *whole* next section, here's something that I think illustrates the point: 'The man and the woman rejected relationship with God as a person and went into exile. They forced God to become an impersonal power, a demand, a commandment, just as a rebellious child forces a parent to become overpowering, impersonal, and free from dialogue when the child presses beyond the limits that have been provided for its safety and nurture.' Our rebellion in the beginning forced God to change our reality (or perception thereof) so that we'd be *aware* of our wounded nature, so that we would desire to correct this - move back into God's Grace.
The next section contains the 'fox and boy' metaphor, in which I still maintain that God is the boy and the fox is a person. God is patient, knowing what we need - waiting for us to approach. Because, while He is God, and *could* simply take over, that's not what He desires. That would take us back to the Power and subservient dynamic, where what God desires is a relationship. He wants us to come to Him.
And as we grow, we desire more and more a relationship with Him. Through living our *lives* in Orthodoxy, that is how we grow closer to God, closer to the place where He desires us to be - what we would have been before the fall. It's a lifelong process - but, as the saying goes, a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
So, in the first section of this chapter the author asserts that in the beginning of life a person has an impersonal relationship with God. Simple identifying characteristics: Creator and the created. Nothing else. At baptism, the relationship becomes personal. 'In a personal relationship, each person has a name and is recognized when called by that name....just as the person dies and rises again in the water, God's name is revealed, but so too is the name of the person being baptized. God now has a way of getting out attention: He can call us by name.'
Since, in Orthodoxy as well as in Catholicism baptism is likely to occur in infancy, awareness of this relationship comes as the child grows. It's (in an Orthodox household) something that one grows up with. Mom, Dad and God. (How awesome is that?) The relationship ebbs and flows with each persons life. Sometimes its smoothe, sometimes we make progress, sometimes we fall down flat on our faces. But the end goal is always the same. Union with God. Theosis/deification.
From there the author wants to define 'identity'. In the fallen world, the mind is (mainly) the thing we hear the most. Identity is a form of labeling. The mind loves it, and starts doing it very early on. 'I' am not 'other'. 'I' am this storyline that I perceive. 'I want' - we don't like to share, at two or forty two. We want it because we desire it - it'll add to our experience, to our story. Give our minds something else to go on about.
But the heart, the heart neither wants nor fears. As opposed to 'I want', the heart exists in 'I am'. 'People who are able, albeit briefly, to live in (or through) their hearts, rather than their mind, experience life from a place of great stillness. They find their feelings of alienation, loneliness, and the desperate need for certainty which accompanies their normal life just drop away.'
As we grow, we continue to relate in 'me' 'not-me' terms. However, we also realize that there is something else, something greater and stranger than all the 'not-me's out there. That, we identify, as Creator/God - a simple Power. So far beyond 'not-me' that comprehension fails. It's a Mystery.
The author then goes into relating to God as person or Power, which I covered here. The end result is this: we cannot relate to God simply as a Power for long. It's not a relationship which can be sustained. One must either move past this simplistic understanding of God, or live in fear of the Power forever.
Without quoting the *whole* next section, here's something that I think illustrates the point: 'The man and the woman rejected relationship with God as a person and went into exile. They forced God to become an impersonal power, a demand, a commandment, just as a rebellious child forces a parent to become overpowering, impersonal, and free from dialogue when the child presses beyond the limits that have been provided for its safety and nurture.' Our rebellion in the beginning forced God to change our reality (or perception thereof) so that we'd be *aware* of our wounded nature, so that we would desire to correct this - move back into God's Grace.
The next section contains the 'fox and boy' metaphor, in which I still maintain that God is the boy and the fox is a person. God is patient, knowing what we need - waiting for us to approach. Because, while He is God, and *could* simply take over, that's not what He desires. That would take us back to the Power and subservient dynamic, where what God desires is a relationship. He wants us to come to Him.
And as we grow, we desire more and more a relationship with Him. Through living our *lives* in Orthodoxy, that is how we grow closer to God, closer to the place where He desires us to be - what we would have been before the fall. It's a lifelong process - but, as the saying goes, a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Do These Bible Passages Refer to Muhammad? *I* Don't Think So...
So, LK did a post called Biblical Translations and Muhammad (AS) that's a reference to another post. It's about how the translations of the Bible have changed through the years, essentially. Without getting into who decided what books go in the Bible when and where and who changed what, because that's an ongoing scholarly debate for the most part, all the passages quoted are ones that Muslims like to use to point to Muhammad being prophesied in the Bible. I'm talking about this here because that's not the point of her post. :)
Preface by saying, as always, I'm not a professional or even an exceptionally learned lay(wo)man. My opinion is my own, and subject to change. If I was quoting Church (or other) Law, I'd say so.
Some, like Deuteronomy 18: 18-19 come down to a matter of interpretation, almost. Who's a 'prophet like unto Moses'? To Christians, it's clearly Jesus. Muslims argue no, it's Muhammad. And each has their reasoning. (Clearly I come down on the side of Jesus here...)
The two passages in John listed (John 14: 16-17 & John 16: 7-14) are understood by Christians to refer to the Holy Spirit. Muslims see Muhammad. (And I obviously fall on the side of the Holy Spirit here. I see no reference to Muhammad in the Bible, really.)
Now, the other two verses mentioned. I can see, yeah, if you just read those, you could go, 'Oh My Flying Spaghetti Monster! Muhammad!' - but the fact is, they're single verses taken out of the whole passage. No reference to what else is written. Just, 'plop'. 'Lookit this! Even though your Scriptures are corrupt, here's our prophet! Follow meeeeeeeeee!'
So, here's the first one: Jeremiah 28 (the relevant verse is verse 9):
1 That same year, in (the beginning of) the reign of Zedekiah, king of Judah, in the fifth month of the fourth year, the prophet Hananiah, son of Azzur, from Gibeon, said to me in the house of the LORD in the presence of the priests and all the people:
2 "Thus says the LORD of hosts, the God of Israel: 'I will break the yoke of the king of Babylon.
3 Within two years I will restore to this place all the vessels of the temple of the LORD which Nebuchadnezzar, king of Babylon, took away from this place to Babylon.
4 And I will bring back to this place Jeconiah, son of Jehoiakim, king of Judah, and all the exiles of Judah who went to Babylon,' says the LORD. 'for I will break the yoke of the king of Babylon.'"
5 The prophet Jeremiah answered the prophet Hananiah in the presence of the priests and all the people assembled in the house of the LORD,
6 and said: Amen! thus may the LORD do! May he fulfill the things you have prophesied by bringing the vessels of the house of the LORD and all the exiles back from Babylon to this place!
7 But now, listen to what I am about to state in your hearing and the hearing of all the people.
8 From of old, the prophets who were before you and me prophesied war, woe, and pestilence against many lands and mighty kingdoms.
9 But the prophet who prophesies peace is recognized as truly sent by the LORD only when his prophetic prediction is fulfilled.
10 Thereupon the prophet Hananiah took the yoke from the neck of the prophet Jeremiah, broke it,
11 and said in the presence of all the people: "Thus says the LORD: 'Even so, within two years I will break the yoke of Nebuchadnezzar, king of Babylon, from off the neck of all the nations.'" At that, the prophet Jeremiah went away.
12 Some time after the prophet Hananiah had broken the yoke from off the neck of the prophet Jeremiah, the word of the LORD came to Jeremiah:
13 Go tell Hananiah this: Thus says the LORD: By breaking a wooden yoke, you forge an iron yoke!
14 For thus says the LORD of hosts, the God of Israel: A yoke of iron I will place on the necks of all these nations serving Nebuchadnezzar, king of Babylon, and they shall serve him; even the beasts of the field I give him.
15 To the prophet Hananiah the prophet Jeremiah said: Hear this, Hananiah! The LORD has not sent you, and you have raised false confidence in this people.
16 For this, says the LORD, I will dispatch you from the face of the earth; this very year you shall die, because you have preached rebellion against the LORD.
17 That same year, in the seventh month, Hananiah the prophet died.
Reading the whole passage, it's clear that Jeremiah is speaking to Hananiah and his false prophecies. He's basically saying, 'Look, you're saying the exact opposite of what the prophets have said before you for hundreds of years. We've been proven right. As soon as *your* prophecy comes true, we'll acknowledge you as a true prophet.' And...no peace. Really, if you know the history and have read Jeremiah, you know peace didn't come. Hananiah *was* a false prophet. I'm not sure, if I were a Muslim, I'd want to put Muhammad in this passage. If you hold him up to the standard set here...did peace follow him? *glances over at Middle East*
And the next one: Isaiah 29 (relevant verse: 12):
1 Woe to Ariel, Ariel, the city where David encamped! Add year to year, let the feasts come round.
2 But I will bring distress upon Ariel, with mourning and grief. You shall be to me like Ariel,
3 I will encamp like David against you; I will encircle you with outposts and set up siege works against you.
4 Prostrate you shall speak from the earth, and from the base dust your words shall come. Your voice shall be like a ghost's from the earth, and your words like chirping from the dust.
5 The horde of your arrogant shall be like fine dust, the horde of the tyrants like flying chaff. Then suddenly, in an instant,
6 you shall be visited by the LORD of hosts, With thunder, earthquake, and great noise, whirlwind, storm, and the flame of consuming fire.
7 Then like a dream, a vision in the night, Shall be the horde of all the nations who war against Ariel with all the earthworks of her besiegers.
8 As when a hungry man dreams he is eating and awakens with an empty stomach, Or when a thirsty man dreams he is drinking and awakens faint and dry, So shall the horde of all the nations be, who make war against Zion.
9 Be irresolute, stupefied; blind yourselves and stay blind! Be drunk, but not from wine, stagger, but not from strong drink!
10 For the LORD has poured out on you a spirit of deep sleep. He has shut your eyes (the prophets) and covered your heads (the seers).
11 For you the revelation of all this has become like the words of a sealed scroll. When it is handed to one who can read, with the request, "Read this," he replies, "I cannot; it is sealed."
12 When it is handed to one who cannot read, with the request, "Read this," he replies, "I cannot read."
13 The Lord said: Since this people draws near with words only and honors me with their lips alone, though their hearts are far from me, And their reverence for me has become routine observance of the precepts of men,
14 Therefore I will again deal with this people in surprising and wondrous fashion: The wisdom of its wise men shall perish and the understanding of its prudent men be hid.
15 Woe to those who would hide their plans too deep for the LORD! Who work in the dark, saying, "Who sees us, or who knows us?"
16 Your perversity is as though the potter were taken to be the clay: As though what is made should say of its maker, "He made me not!" Or the vessel should say of the potter, "He does not understand."
17 But a very little while, and Lebanon shall be changed into an orchard, and the orchard be regarded as a forest!
18 On that day the deaf shall hear the words of a book; And out of gloom and darkness, the eyes of the blind shall see.
19 The lowly will ever find joy in the LORD, and the poor rejoice in the Holy One of Israel.
20 For the tyrant will be no more and the arrogant will have gone; All who are alert to do evil will be cut off,
21 those whose mere word condemns a man, Who ensnare his defender at the gate, and leave the just man with an empty claim.
22 Therefore thus says the LORD, the God of the house of Jacob, who redeemed Abraham: Now Jacob shall have nothing to be ashamed of, nor shall his face grow pale.
23 When his children see the work of my hands in his midst, They shall keep my name holy; they shall reverence the Holy One of Jacob, and be in awe of the God of Israel.
24 Those who err in spirit shall acquire understanding, and those who find fault shall receive instruction.
Some of the more cheerful stuff in the Bible, yeah? It's God telling Israel that he's punishing them. He's taking away the ability to understand for a while, *because* they've already turned from Him. This was God going, 'I'm gonna spank ya'll, hard. But it's for your own good.' I see where the Muslims are going, 'see!', I just don't think they're taking into account the whole passage and intent of the book.
Isaiah and Jeremiah are all doom and gloom, written while Israel was getting their collective butts kicked around.
All my quotes are from the NAB Catholic edition found nyah: USCCB.
Preface by saying, as always, I'm not a professional or even an exceptionally learned lay(wo)man. My opinion is my own, and subject to change. If I was quoting Church (or other) Law, I'd say so.
Some, like Deuteronomy 18: 18-19 come down to a matter of interpretation, almost. Who's a 'prophet like unto Moses'? To Christians, it's clearly Jesus. Muslims argue no, it's Muhammad. And each has their reasoning. (Clearly I come down on the side of Jesus here...)
The two passages in John listed (John 14: 16-17 & John 16: 7-14) are understood by Christians to refer to the Holy Spirit. Muslims see Muhammad. (And I obviously fall on the side of the Holy Spirit here. I see no reference to Muhammad in the Bible, really.)
Now, the other two verses mentioned. I can see, yeah, if you just read those, you could go, 'Oh My Flying Spaghetti Monster! Muhammad!' - but the fact is, they're single verses taken out of the whole passage. No reference to what else is written. Just, 'plop'. 'Lookit this! Even though your Scriptures are corrupt, here's our prophet! Follow meeeeeeeeee!'
So, here's the first one: Jeremiah 28 (the relevant verse is verse 9):
1 That same year, in (the beginning of) the reign of Zedekiah, king of Judah, in the fifth month of the fourth year, the prophet Hananiah, son of Azzur, from Gibeon, said to me in the house of the LORD in the presence of the priests and all the people:
2 "Thus says the LORD of hosts, the God of Israel: 'I will break the yoke of the king of Babylon.
3 Within two years I will restore to this place all the vessels of the temple of the LORD which Nebuchadnezzar, king of Babylon, took away from this place to Babylon.
4 And I will bring back to this place Jeconiah, son of Jehoiakim, king of Judah, and all the exiles of Judah who went to Babylon,' says the LORD. 'for I will break the yoke of the king of Babylon.'"
5 The prophet Jeremiah answered the prophet Hananiah in the presence of the priests and all the people assembled in the house of the LORD,
6 and said: Amen! thus may the LORD do! May he fulfill the things you have prophesied by bringing the vessels of the house of the LORD and all the exiles back from Babylon to this place!
7 But now, listen to what I am about to state in your hearing and the hearing of all the people.
8 From of old, the prophets who were before you and me prophesied war, woe, and pestilence against many lands and mighty kingdoms.
9 But the prophet who prophesies peace is recognized as truly sent by the LORD only when his prophetic prediction is fulfilled.
10 Thereupon the prophet Hananiah took the yoke from the neck of the prophet Jeremiah, broke it,
11 and said in the presence of all the people: "Thus says the LORD: 'Even so, within two years I will break the yoke of Nebuchadnezzar, king of Babylon, from off the neck of all the nations.'" At that, the prophet Jeremiah went away.
12 Some time after the prophet Hananiah had broken the yoke from off the neck of the prophet Jeremiah, the word of the LORD came to Jeremiah:
13 Go tell Hananiah this: Thus says the LORD: By breaking a wooden yoke, you forge an iron yoke!
14 For thus says the LORD of hosts, the God of Israel: A yoke of iron I will place on the necks of all these nations serving Nebuchadnezzar, king of Babylon, and they shall serve him; even the beasts of the field I give him.
15 To the prophet Hananiah the prophet Jeremiah said: Hear this, Hananiah! The LORD has not sent you, and you have raised false confidence in this people.
16 For this, says the LORD, I will dispatch you from the face of the earth; this very year you shall die, because you have preached rebellion against the LORD.
17 That same year, in the seventh month, Hananiah the prophet died.
Reading the whole passage, it's clear that Jeremiah is speaking to Hananiah and his false prophecies. He's basically saying, 'Look, you're saying the exact opposite of what the prophets have said before you for hundreds of years. We've been proven right. As soon as *your* prophecy comes true, we'll acknowledge you as a true prophet.' And...no peace. Really, if you know the history and have read Jeremiah, you know peace didn't come. Hananiah *was* a false prophet. I'm not sure, if I were a Muslim, I'd want to put Muhammad in this passage. If you hold him up to the standard set here...did peace follow him? *glances over at Middle East*
And the next one: Isaiah 29 (relevant verse: 12):
1 Woe to Ariel, Ariel, the city where David encamped! Add year to year, let the feasts come round.
2 But I will bring distress upon Ariel, with mourning and grief. You shall be to me like Ariel,
3 I will encamp like David against you; I will encircle you with outposts and set up siege works against you.
4 Prostrate you shall speak from the earth, and from the base dust your words shall come. Your voice shall be like a ghost's from the earth, and your words like chirping from the dust.
5 The horde of your arrogant shall be like fine dust, the horde of the tyrants like flying chaff. Then suddenly, in an instant,
6 you shall be visited by the LORD of hosts, With thunder, earthquake, and great noise, whirlwind, storm, and the flame of consuming fire.
7 Then like a dream, a vision in the night, Shall be the horde of all the nations who war against Ariel with all the earthworks of her besiegers.
8 As when a hungry man dreams he is eating and awakens with an empty stomach, Or when a thirsty man dreams he is drinking and awakens faint and dry, So shall the horde of all the nations be, who make war against Zion.
9 Be irresolute, stupefied; blind yourselves and stay blind! Be drunk, but not from wine, stagger, but not from strong drink!
10 For the LORD has poured out on you a spirit of deep sleep. He has shut your eyes (the prophets) and covered your heads (the seers).
11 For you the revelation of all this has become like the words of a sealed scroll. When it is handed to one who can read, with the request, "Read this," he replies, "I cannot; it is sealed."
12 When it is handed to one who cannot read, with the request, "Read this," he replies, "I cannot read."
13 The Lord said: Since this people draws near with words only and honors me with their lips alone, though their hearts are far from me, And their reverence for me has become routine observance of the precepts of men,
14 Therefore I will again deal with this people in surprising and wondrous fashion: The wisdom of its wise men shall perish and the understanding of its prudent men be hid.
15 Woe to those who would hide their plans too deep for the LORD! Who work in the dark, saying, "Who sees us, or who knows us?"
16 Your perversity is as though the potter were taken to be the clay: As though what is made should say of its maker, "He made me not!" Or the vessel should say of the potter, "He does not understand."
17 But a very little while, and Lebanon shall be changed into an orchard, and the orchard be regarded as a forest!
18 On that day the deaf shall hear the words of a book; And out of gloom and darkness, the eyes of the blind shall see.
19 The lowly will ever find joy in the LORD, and the poor rejoice in the Holy One of Israel.
20 For the tyrant will be no more and the arrogant will have gone; All who are alert to do evil will be cut off,
21 those whose mere word condemns a man, Who ensnare his defender at the gate, and leave the just man with an empty claim.
22 Therefore thus says the LORD, the God of the house of Jacob, who redeemed Abraham: Now Jacob shall have nothing to be ashamed of, nor shall his face grow pale.
23 When his children see the work of my hands in his midst, They shall keep my name holy; they shall reverence the Holy One of Jacob, and be in awe of the God of Israel.
24 Those who err in spirit shall acquire understanding, and those who find fault shall receive instruction.
Some of the more cheerful stuff in the Bible, yeah? It's God telling Israel that he's punishing them. He's taking away the ability to understand for a while, *because* they've already turned from Him. This was God going, 'I'm gonna spank ya'll, hard. But it's for your own good.' I see where the Muslims are going, 'see!', I just don't think they're taking into account the whole passage and intent of the book.
Isaiah and Jeremiah are all doom and gloom, written while Israel was getting their collective butts kicked around.
All my quotes are from the NAB Catholic edition found nyah: USCCB.
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