Wednesday, February 10, 2016

It's Lent!

Or, well, Ash Wednesday.

Which counts.

One of the guys who works the press here knows that I'm Catholic - we're not close enough for me to talk about the ups and downs thereof with him, so it's simpler to just say 'Catholic' because it's still true? Technically.

Anyway. When he came up for a replacement plate this afternoon he asked me where my ashes were. He, being a pressman, had his smeared on his forehead, where they were almost indistinguishable from the ink on him. The press is a messy, messy place. I think they might roll in it sometimes. I don't know why. Pressmen are weird.

Nice, but weird.

I told him that I'd wiped them off. true. I hauled my butt out of bed at an ungodly hour, especially considering I worked nights last night, and went to the 7:30 Mass.

Because I miss it.

And that's kind of weird, right?

Right. It's weird.

But true.

I miss going to Mass and just generally....being Catholic. This is rather a new feeling, but maybe I shouldn't be all that surprised.

After all, I went to confession before I flew up to visit Heather last year. Just in case the plane crashed. That way I was covered, in the event of my death.

Which maybe sounds silly to people, I'm sure. But I felt better.

And I feel better having gone to Mass and gotten my ashes (even though I washed them off because I have a twitch, okay?) and doing my fast like a good Catholic girl. Or as close as I can come to it.

I've been here before, though, and burnt myself out right after conversion. So I'm easing back into it, testing the waters so to speak.

Some things still don't make sense, but at least at the moment I feel like maybe that doesn't matter so much.

In the mean time, I've become obsessed with podcasts (seriously, it's good that I've never done drugs, my personality tends towards the 'WOW, THAT WAS AWESOME!!!! LET'S DO IT AGAIN UNTIL WE PUKE!!!!') and the musical Hamilton. I'm at the point where I could listen to the original cast recording on repeat for forever.

This too, shall pass.

Though the Hannibal obsession hasn't yet, but that's a different problem.


  1. It's always nice reading something from you! :)

    To be honest, for half of last year, I thought you'd converted to Islam.

    1. I've said it before, but I hope to post more. I'm just very much a slacker, I guess. :)

      I did consider it, to be honest, and there's a lot that appeals to me about Islam. But I don't *feel* it. It's interesting, but there's no passion there for me. Whereas I do feel Catholicism. Sometimes the feeling isn't a good one, but at least it's there.

  2. ARGH. I wrote a comment already and somehow hit "sign out" (I didn't even know there was a button for that here) instead of "publish." I'll try again.

    Yay! I'm happy for you. It might be weird, but religion is weird in general. It's always fun and exciting for me to see people drawn to it in whatever form.

    I do the obsession thing too. In my case, I've just accepted at this point that I'm not likely to stick with anything long, so I don't need to go all in and claim it as "my thing." It's probably not my thing. But all the things I've tried have stuck with me in some way so I'm cool with throwing myself into it and getting all I can from it before I inevitably find the parts of it that turn me off. I've tried about 4 religions in the past year, now I'm somewhere in the middle of all of them but not really claiming any. It's been kind of freeing for me not trying to find the one place I belong. I think with my personal worldview, that would feel too much like I found THE Truth, which I don't think exists in any human ideology. We're all just going to get close.

    1. I know! I've done that a couple of times myself. I don't know why they thought that was a good design choice.

      I haven't yet accepted that I'm not likely to stick with things. I like absolutes a little too much for that.


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