Sunday, July 28, 2013

It's totally wrong to write a post just so a friend can come get rage flaily at it, right?


*continues in her terrible wrong path*

Friday, July 26, 2013

Drink, Don't Drink, It's a Choice (aka it's 3 am, do you know where your free will is?)

And then I stayed up until an ungodly hour writing a post.

Susanne linked to this article on her Facebook and I made the mistake of following it to read it.

Go read it, I'll wait.


As you see, the article is simply a list of reasons why the author does not drink.

Good for her. There's no law that says that everyone has to drink. I know plenty of people who simply don't like alcohol (the taste) or are allergic to certain kinds (my grandmother is allergic to...I'm going to say tequila, but I could be wrong) or don't like certain kinds of alcohol (me - wine and champagne taste like rotten fruit, I don't care what you say and the only good beer is a German beer).

I know people who don't drink because they don't like what it does to them or what they've seen it do to others.

I know people who don't drink because they believe that God has commanded them not to.

There's nothing wrong with any of this.

I just wanted to clear that out of the way first. I am not advocating or demanding that everyone drink *now* because of Reasons.

So why are you writing this post, Amber?

*points* That's you guys, right there. Because I know you're asking that question.

Because while I respect her choice not to drink (for whatever reason) I feel like her stated reasons are not the hard hitting 'facts' that she seems to think that they are. And I feel as if, in spite of what she says, she does not respect the decisions of other Christians to drink.

If what she lists as her first reason is true (for her) then she *can't* respect their decision. I'll get there in a minute.

The second half of this post will (maybe) be more about some of the comments on that original post. We'll see. I've been rage composing responses to those comments for a while (in my head) so we might not get there if I can't get my emotional response under control. *thinks calm thoughts*

Right. Here we go.

"* The Bible says not to be drunk, and the line between having a drink and having too many drinks is just too fuzzy. Drunkenness, or being controlled by alcohol (even for a short time), is something that Christ died to set us free from. To me, drinking after He did that would be like being released from jail and choosing to frequent the jail parking lot."

The Bible *does* say not to be drunk. It says it a couple of times. It condemns *drunkenness*, not *alcohol*. There's a distinction there. And the line is not all that fuzzy. One drink does not make the average person *drunk*. One drink does not remove the self control of the average person. 'Too many drinks' is the point where your self control goes out the window. Where you can't walk straight. Where you can't stand up if you lean down. Where you say and do things that you are ashamed of when sober. 

Christ came to free us of sin (I'm not fond of the phrasing here because Christians continue to sin - Christ hasn't freed us from sin, He's established a path to lead us *away* from sin and offered us forgiveness for when we stumble). *Alcohol* and the moderate, controlled ingestion thereof is not a sin. The sin is in the *excess* that results in drunkenness. It *is* destructive to our bodies (the temples of the Holy Spirit), it *is* destructive to our souls (excessive drinking leads to a break down of the higher functions in our minds, the parts of us that control common sense, motor control, brain to mouth filter). *Drunkenness*, not *alcohol*.

Let's go with an easy parallel. 

Gluttony is a sin, I believe we can all agree on that, yes?

One cookie does not constitute gluttony. Eating *all* the cookies does constitute gluttony.

One drink does not constitute drunkenness. Drinking all the time, or in binges, does.

The Bible is massive. Even in the smaller part, the New Testament, there is plenty of room for a condemnation of drinking in and of itself. It doesn't exist. Christ drank. Christ was accused of being a drunkard. His first public miracle was turning water into wine for the wedding in Cana.

If drinking is a sin then Christ Himself sinned. And encouraged and enabled others to sin.

"*I don’t want to contribute financially to an industry that capitalizes on the pain, neediness, and addiction of anyone. I know too many people whose lives have either been ruined or forever altered by alcohol. Though many people are able to drink without becoming addicted, I wonder how many people, without realizing it, have come to depend on alcohol as a social crutch, trading in Christ-centered or even people-centered relationships that might have been for ones that revolve around the consumption of a substance."

Okay. I'm assuming that the author grows her own food, makes her own clothing from scratch, doesn't own a vehicle or use public transportation and-

Basically she must be Amish.

We can do our best not to support companies in any industry that mistreat their workers or have ties to questionable countries/groups/philosophies. But it's impossible to check every part of every product for moral perfection. 

She should probably stop tithing to her church, because one never knows what that money is *really* being used for. Don't missionaries capitalize on the pain and need of the people they proselytize to? Seems shady to me.

And I don't know how many people she thinks use alcohol as a social crutch. I've yet to see any pair or group of people anywhere who have nothing to talk about except for their drinks.

"* Alcohol dulls sensitivity to the Holy Spirit. Alcohol creates spiritual static, making it hard for me to discern what God might be saying to me, and I never know what He’s going to say or when. Missing a divine appointment because I chose to drink, for me, would be like letting someone drown because I’m busy watching TV."

I'm going to need some sort of a reference for this one. Since the author, by her own admission, has never taken a drink I don't know how she's reached the conclusion that alcohol blocks the Holy Spirit. All I can do is cite Jesus and the Apostles, who all drank and didn't seem to have any 'static' from it.

I could also talk about all of the religious traditions in which mind altering substances are used as a way to open oneself up to the universe/gods/God and make it *easier* to touch the will of the Divine, but I suspect that those would be shunted to the side as paganism.

"* I don’t want to exclude anyone or hinder relationships. People who do drink often exclude those who don’t drink when they gather socially. I like peanut butter, but I don’t let it keep me from spending time with friends who have peanut allergies. I simply don’t eat peanut butter when I’m around them. The effects of drinking often carry over into the next day, causing others to feel as if they are less important than the drinking experience to the one who chooses to drink."

My social circles include people who drink and people who don't drink. Never have we excluded one group or the other from an activity or get together based on their alcohol related opinions. If we're getting together at a restaurant, those who drink will have a drink. Those who don't, won't. No one gets excluded. At home based parties or get togethers, there is always a *variety* of beverages to be chosen from. I have a friend who is allergic to tree nuts. I don't not serve items that have tree nuts in them, I just make sure she knows which dish she shouldn't eat and have a substitute for her. (I also struggle to remember that she is *not* allergic to peanuts, which just seems odd to me. But then again, she's my friend, so what do you expect?) 

I have friends who are vegetarian. I don't not serve meat when there's a group of people over, I just make sure that there are vegetarian options! 

No one is excluded! It's like magic!

If I had local Muslim friends I wouldn't serve them pork! But I'd serve non-Muslims pork! It's not rocket science!

re: the hangover bit. I will admit that I've never been hung over. My alcohol tolerance's pretty high. I have been 'can't walk a straight line, or even stand up totally straight, there was some slight listing to one side but I swear the floor was tilted, hugging everyone in the restaurant, kneel down to pick something up and can't get my legs to work' drunk. And I've woken up the next day just fine. So all I know from hangovers is from the outside. They don't look like a hell of a lot of fun. They have yet to make me feel like I am less valued than the alcohol that was consumed the night before. They do incite lectures on why we don't drink to excess, but that's mostly because I'm me and I have a captive audience at that point.

"* I don’t want to point others, particularly my children, toward anything that could potentially become a problem for or hurt them."

Excellent. I assume that the author is raising her children in a hermetically sealed environment.

But on a serious note: I'm by no means saying encourage your children to drink and smoke and have wild sex parties but if all you do is say 'NO. This is *bad*.' and don't give your children any exposure to something then they won't develop coping mechanisms for it. They won't know how to deal. There is also the chance that by making alcohol something forbidden (and I admit to making an assumption here) and not allowing discussion of it and it's good and bad points, that you are fomenting a rebellion involving secrecy which can lend itself more easily to addiction - the very thing you were trying to avoid.

"* If I chose to drink, it would be for me, to fulfill my own desires and purposes, which is where every sin issue I’ve ever had has started. I just don’t want to go there."

I personally see nothing wrong with doing something, within reason, because I desire it or it serves my purposes. Assuming that there is nothing intrinsically evil (or illegal) about it, of course. But the author doesn't want to drink because, I'm thinking, it doesn't serve or elevate Christ or Christianity in her mind. Okay.

"* If I broke off a piece of the Loritab, Darvacet, Percacet, or Vicadin in my cabinet every time I felt the need to relax, people would say I had a problem. I struggle to see how that is any different than pouring a glass of whatever when I feel the need to chill."

The key here is what is moderation and what is excess. What is necessity and what is indulgence. I have a coworker who has been on a steady prescription of anti-depressents and anti-anxiety medicines for four years. She takes these daily because she and her physician have decided that this is what she needs to be a functioning version of herself. Is she sinning by taking these drugs to save her life?

There are three bottles of vodka in my freezer. Every so often I have a little bit of one of them after a very long and stressful day. I have a drink, I don't *drink to the point of insensibility*.

"* I just don’t need it. As a Christian, every freedom is mine in Christ. In fact, the spiritual yard that the Father has given me to play in is way too huge for me to worry about whether or not to set foot in the 10X10 plot of freedom that is social drinking."

 Okay. *shrug* Again, not saying that you have to drink. This is, in my opinion, the best reason listed for not drinking. She doesn't want to. Excellent. Others do sometimes what to have a drink. This is also good.

"* I want to be set apart. The Bible doesn’t say that no one can ever drink, but God does tell several individuals whom He sets apart for higher tasks not to consume alcohol. There has to be a reason for that. On some level, He must value abstinence from alcohol, and, hey, if God is taking volunteers for higher tasks, sign me up!"

God tells different people a lot of different things in the Bible. 

Moses *saw* God, or got as close as any human being ever did to seeing God. There was, as far as I can recall at 3 am, never any instruction for Moses to not drink. 

Jesus *is* God, and He drank.

This last reason smacks, to me (but again it's early/late so...ymmv) of wanting to be 'special'. I've been there. It's a little slice of Holier Than Thou

"So, there it is. Do with it what you will, friends, but I felt I had to share. Let me say again that I do not think less of those who drink. It does make me sad, however, when I scroll through my Facebook and Twitter feeds and see that so many young Christians I know are constantly posting pictures of their alcoholic drinks and dropping the names of imported beers and mixed drinks they’ve consumed. What are they trying to prove? If they really believe drinking isn’t an issue, then why the show and tell?"

 Perhaps they post these pictures because they believe it isn't an issue. I know that I've posted pictures of cocktails occasionally. Not because I'm showcasing my 'sin', but because they were pretty or unusual. There is an artistry to bartending which, since then author has never had a drink she has likely never been close enough to appreciate.

And....nope. Still not un-ragey enough to deal with the comments.

Except to say this: There are at least two claims that alcohol is a cause of rape, incest and abuse.

No. The *cause* of rape (and I'm including incest under rape since I'm assuming that the commentators aren't imagining scenarios where a couple of family members get consensually, mutually drunk and then have sex) is rapists.

Are those rapists sometimes drunk? Yes.

Are their victims sometimes drunk? Yes.

Correlation does not equal causation.

A rapist rapes because they choose to do so.

An abuser abuses because they choose to do so.

I grew up with an abusive step-father. He drank, he took drugs. Neither of those things made him abusive. He was abusive because he took joy in the power he had to control us.

He feels slighted and unappreciated by the world around him and he turned that into pain and rage against women and children who had no defense and nowhere to go.

He was abusive because there is something fundamentally wrong inside of him. In his soul, in his brain chemistry, in his wiring. Whatever you choose. The alcohol did not make him abuse us, it did not take away his choice or his will.

Saying that the alcohol causes this behavior is one of two things, both of them insulting. You're either blaming the victim for being victimised or you're excusing the perpetrator by saying that the alcohol totally changed him, that he was a puppet to the will of the inanimate drink.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Day 1 & 2

I forgot to post last night, so tonight is day one and day two. Lucky you guys!

Day 1:

So I set the first alarm to go off at 5:30. This is about the time of the first Muslim prayer of the day and I figured that would give me an hour to eat and drink since sunrise, according to the Islamic calendar I looked at, is at 6:30(ish). I woke up, got up and turned my alarm off and crawled back into bed for another half an hour. Getting up at six gave me time to eat and drink a bottle of water, but it felt rushed since I was taking care of all the animals at the same time - once they know that you're up they expect to be fed and walked and all that good stuff.

It's about 10 am now. I did a light workout at the gym before I came into work, not my usual routine - not because I couldn't drink water but because I had to be into work early (I'm scheduled to be at noon today but the other woman here had to go to the bank - she's in the process of buying a house - and the DMV because they sent her a new drivers license that she didn't request and it feels a little suspicious to her). 

So far so good on the water/food front.

I've set my phone alarm to buzz me at the appropriate times for salat. Not that I'm going to pray (since I have no space and don't know how and am dubious about the appropriateness of it in the first place) but to break up my day in the closest manner I can to a practicing Muslims day.


It's 12:30 and I'm getting a little hungry. I miss not having a drink right beside me to sip, but I'm not *thirsty* yet.

I am, however, eyeing my sister's chicken nuggets. I know that they're terrible, I really do. But I love McDonald's chicken nuggets. A Mighty Kids Happy Meal with chicken nuggets and one of those blueberry-pomegranate smoothies. Mmmmm....

But no.


Every ad I see in every product is for food or a restaurant. Even pictures of people catching fish is a reminder of food - for those of us who like seafood anyway.

I am, however, planning to make an avocado-tomato salad that my mother gave me a recipe for tonight. This has no bearing on anything, just me thinking about how good that would taste. I'm also thinking about the salsa that Heather was making last night and how, in spite of the metric ton of garlic in the recipe, it sounds like something I want to try. My Dad is really fond of salsa. Personally I'm a salsa con queso kind of gal.

I really don't want to make these posts all about food, but I haven't reached any deep (or shallow) spiritual insights as of yet.

Mostly I'm just mildly hungry and thirsty.


Hunger is something that I'm not all that familiar with, to be honest. I'm never normally *hungry*, you understand? Like I eat at meal times because I know that I need to eat and I enjoy the food, but I don't get the stomach growling hunger if I skip a meal or eat a few hours late like some people do. And I've certainly never experienced the hunger of needing food and simply having it not be available. I imagine that that's several degrees above any kind of hunger I can imagine.

So the hunger isn't a problem, at least so far. I'd like to eat, but I'm not chewing the edge of the desk or anything. And I work a desk job in a nice air-conditioned building so it's not like I'm sweating and need water desperately. I'm well off in those respects. Of course my desk mate is eating KFC (again) across from me, so that's annoying. Again, I know KFC is not awesome, but it smells delicious.


Full disclosure, I took a tiny sip of diet sweet tea because I couldn't explain to my sister why I couldn't drink it.

I suck.


4:30 - And *now* that I've had that tiny sip, my throat is starting to feel dry. Bah. It wasn't even that great of a tea.


It was made with Splenda. Blaaaaaarrrghhhh....


5 ish - You know, I really need to figure out how to make my phones alarm vibrate and not make noise. I set it to silent, thinking that that would do it and I'd just feel/hear it buzz in my pocket, but just says 'ALARM' when it goes off. How is that helpful? It's not, that's how. If it didn't remember the approximate times it was supposed to be going off I wouldn't notice it at all.

*frowns at phone*



Of course now I have to avoid eating with the family because explaining experiments like this just a) confuses them and b) makes my Mom worry that I'm converting and not telling them. Which, to be fair, I was half way through becoming Catholic before I told them.


8:40 - 'Iftar' pizza! Um. Well, it was delicious, as was my sweet tea. Admittedly there was pepperoni on my pizza but you can all pretend it was turkey pepperoni if it makes you feel better. Again, not *actually* Muslim, so pork and I are okay.


Not really sure what the point was of setting my alarm to go off at 9:30 for the last prayer time. Not praying and not breaking up my day since my day is over! *goes back to playing Candy Crush*


I'm wondering if this is going to be rather pointless, at least for me. I think that this is kind of like Lent. You get out of it what you put in. I'm putting in (basically) not eating lunch. People who believe are far more likely to get something back from Ramadan.

Day 2:

5:30 - *bleep*-ing alarm.


6:30 - I stayed up after the 5:30 alarm, sort of. I mean I didn't go back to sleep, so that gave me more time to drink water and eat a little. Which was the point. But I didn't actually start being productive until a few minutes ago.


Noonish - today is a good day to be lazy in. I'm really tired today, but I think that has more to do with my habit of staying up late than anything else. Sadly I have to go to the gym now and be to work at 3. Life is haaarrddd..../childish whining


3 - My sister asked me to pick her up something to eat on the way into work. Going through the drive through at McDonald's is less fun when you're not eating anything.

Also, side note, people on your cell phones: When you get to the ordering spot, say 'Just one second' to the person on the phone, and make your order. DON'T tell the server that you need another second and then continue to talk about THINGS THAT ARE NOT FOOD on the cell phone. You will get honked at. A LOT.



Still no deep thoughts. Maybe I should add prayer to the mix? Not salat (again, questionable appropriateness and lack of practical knowledge).

I was listening to the Catholic station in the car and the speaker said something that bugs me. He said that the definition of faith is, 'Leaning so far on God that if He wasn't there, you'd fall over.' Which seems stupid. From a practical standpoint. All I can compare it to are the far too emotionally codependent people that I know. And I imagine it like that, where if one party leaves or dies or what have you then the other party collapses and can't function. Why would you want that? Why would God want that from you? That's idiocy. (I know that there are problems with this comparison, but it's my head and this is what comes up in it.)


8:42 - I'm gonna eat my salad (delicious salad....) and drink a giant (no seriously, you have no idea) Mountain Dew Icee. I'm here until midnight so caffeine is my friend. 

Oh! And I broke the fast with a greek yogurt. To be honest, I thought I'd brought strawberry and it was pomegranate, so that was a little confusing at first (I didn't look at the label) - there were all these tiny hard things in the yogurt and I was disturbed trying to figure out which part of the strawberry they were....


P.S.: Guys, it's almost 2 am here. Why did none of you stop me from drinking 52 oz. of Mountain Dew?

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Okay, this past week was supposed to be me fasting.

I failed. I failed spectacularly.

I think the problem (in part) was that I just decided to do it without really preparing for it. I managed to sleep through my alarm *every* day and so not wake up until after sunrise. Which meant that I missed out on the pre-dawn breakfast and tanking up on water.

I'm going to give it another go this week, but plan better (set my phone alarm and leave my phone on the other side of the bedroom so I have to get up to turn it off).

*crosses all available limbs*

Hopefully this goes better.


Sunday, July 14, 2013

7 PM ramblings and Ramadan 'project'

I'm here at work for my new job, so you guys get a post. It'll be a short one though.

Mostly you're getting this because I have no schedule to check and see if I'm expecting any more jobs to come through (we do commercial printing and we rotate coming in for a couple of hours on Sunday nights to do the few products that print first thing Monday morning) and I've done the one that I had the files for. So I need to stay until 8 pm, just in case there is something else coming in.

I've got an hour to kill.

I hate not having work to do right now, but that's the nature of the beast. :(


Last night was kind of a mentally stabbity night for me. There was someone that I work with on my FB, telling me that we shouldn't voice our opinions about things that we don't have ALL the details on. Which is just asinine and I'm not saying it's me, but if superglue somehow gets on his chair tomorrow morning, well. Like I said, I admit nothing.

...just kidding. I won't superglue him to his chair.

He'd just take his pants off and that's something no one needs to see.

And I was reading a chapter by chapter review of the latest Anita Blake 'book' (I use that term SO, SO loosely in this case). That always makes me want to start a bonfire with the power of my rage. These are among the few books that I would burn in an instant if I came to universal power. Probably part of that is due to the fact that I used to like them. Not that they were ever high literature by any stretch of the imagination, but they were decent. There is nothing redeeming about them now.


I've been doing some sort of half-fast for the last week, like a training exercise. Probably this is something that I should have done before Ramadan started, but I'm not Muslim, so I do what I want.

Which is basically my life philosophy, if you drop the 'not Muslim' part of it.

But the plan is for me to do a correct Islamic fast starting tomorrow. I intend to do the entire week, but I'm not sure if I'll make it.

I was thinking about journaling/live blogging the fast (any thoughts that I have, not whining about how I would really like some food right now, thank you very much), and only posting the post after iftar. But I don't know if that would be appropriate. I know in Christian circles you're not supposed to draw attention to your fasts, but I'm not sure what the standard is in Muslim circles.

Sunday, July 7, 2013

Ramadan is coming....

By all the calculations that I've seen, it's 'scheduled' to start Tuesday. Or Wednesday, if there's no moon sighted, but I think most people are going with Tuesday as the start date.

Any of you have plans to mark or observe Ramadan in some way?

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Hello, My Name is Amber and I'm a Slacker

Well, at least my slacking has a little bit of an excuse?

I started a new job (my first new job in 17 years! what can I say, I'm unfond (It's a word because I say it is) of change and I was *super* competent in my last position, so I was not in the mood to change until I suddenly was). It's with the same company, so that's nice but it's completely different from what I was doing before so it's been a bit of a learning curve. This is my third week and I'm still loving it and I haven't broken the presses yet so all in all, it's a good thing.

I'm behind (so very, very behind) on my Qur'an posts, and obviously I have made no other posts in the interim. But I have a couple of books that people (Susanne) have said I should write about and I can just do random, why is this my life posts too.


I've been thinking, the past couple of days, about my tendency to try and bargain with God. I don't know if it's something in my personality or maybe it has more to do with the version of Christianity that I grew up with and have chosen to surround myself with, or maybe it's just a facet of American Christianity that's so basic we hardly notice it unless we're looking for it. Or maybe it's an American thing. Or a human thing. I don't know.

I'm sure you know what I mean. Prayers that start with: 'Dear God, if You...' or 'If You just let me get through this...' '...get me home safe...' '...keep my loved one safe...' and continue with '...I will/I promise/I won't...'


If God will do X then we will do Y. Whether that Y is praying more or giving up gambling or smoking or drinking or going to church or donating our time/money/etc to a worthy cause. We want to bribe God to do what we want Him to do. We think that we can influence the outcome of events by getting God to do what we want.

And it doesn't work that way. We can't do that. God will do what God will do and we can't change anything by trying to bribe Him.

Because of my new job I've been nervous, and I've found it much easier lately to just say 'thank you' to God for what I have, for getting through each day and having good days and not getting angry when something goes wrong or being scared when something bad happens. I have an...unpleasant 'relationship' with my mother's second husband (*ex* husband, I should point out for those who might not know). Basically I would be pleased if I never heard from him again. I don't fear him any more and I don't hate him any more (go team!) but I also don't want him in my life. He's recently started calling for me at work and I've spoken to him each time because otherwise he just keeps calling.

And you know, I was able, when he said that 'I'm going to be in a place that's good for me and I hope that you'll be in a place that's good for you' to respond 'Insha'Allah.' (I find that some things are better expressed in Arabic, okay? I can't quite explain to you the difference between insha'Allah and 'God willing' in my head except that perhaps I said 'God willing' so many times without meaning that it's impossible for me to take it seriously in my own mind. Insha'Allah carries none of that baggage for me. Or maybe I've just been reading too many Islamic posts/books lately.) I want us both to be in places that are good for us, the difference is that he thinks that's a place that can include us both and I know that that's not so.

I'm hardly saying that I don't grouse mentally when things go wrong (like the fact that our yard is so flooded I can't shower or do laundry or reliably flush a toilet) or that I don't ask God for things. I pray that each day is a good day, that I have the strength to get through anything that comes my way and I ask for God's help with that. But I don't try and bargain any more. And I do my best to remember to thank God that I have a house that's not an inch deep in water at the moment and that I have places that I can go to to do my laundry and take my shower and that I have toilets that *do* flush if treated gently.
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...