So Eve and I went out to lunch yesterday and of course she brought Evesdottir with her. Evesdottir is doing very well, by the way. She's two months old and she's growing like a weed. She's a little over 10 lbs now, so she's gained three pounds since she was born and she's 23 inches long. She's so cute, and rather well behaved. She slept all through lunch, then woke up when we were putting her in the car. Evesdottir still isn't quite sure that her hands are attached to her, so when they flail around in front of her eyes she's absolutely fascinated. :)
We somehow managed to get on the topic of religion and what they were going to do about Evesdottir's education in it. Eve and Kyle are not religious themselves. They're not atheists or even agnostics, but neither of them are observant of the faiths they were raised in. Eve was raised Methodist and Kyle Seventh Day Adventist. However Kyle's parents are observant and if they're ever watching Evesdottir on a Saturday, which is sort of likely and inevitable, they'll be taking her with them to church.
Eve was saying that she doesn't have a problem with that, the key is making sure that that's not Evesdottir's only exposure to religion. That she needs to be exposed to different denominations and faiths in enough depth that she can develop her own opinions and base any beliefs she chooses to have (or not to have) on that and not just on being raised one way and that's that. We compared childhood religious exposure on this and Eve really came out ahead.
But the question is how? How do you manage to give a child a balance enough view of different religions? I was thinking that you could almost pick a certain length of time, say a year, and explore a denomination/religion for that year. That seems to me to be enough time to gain a fair grasp of the ins and outs of a faith, though of course not everything can be understood in that period of time.
But I don't know. There are, of course, flaws in any plan.
So what would you do? If you had kids, how would you raise them to give them an appreciation and understanding of different faiths? Or if you have kids, what are you planning on doing?
Ok, I have no kids yet and so obviously I don't know how all this is going to work and maybe my ideas will seem really stupid once I've had kids for awhile and tried to follow through on it. :D But Mr Sanil and I have actually given this quite a bit of thought, given that he's an atheist, I'm a pagan, his parents are liberal Christians who don't attend church, and my parents are conservative Christians and my mom attends church every week.
ReplyDeleteI'm certain that when we visit my parents, my kids and I will be going to church with my mom, and I'm also ok with that. They'll also be going to UU and CFI (secular humanists) meetings fairly regularly, occasionally attending pagan group rituals for holidays, and probably having some interesting inter-religious celebrations at home. So they're going to get a fairly diverse religious education just by growing up with all these different religions and philosophies.
I'm not sure it's necessary to expose them to a lot of other religions at a very young age, as long as I make it clear we accept other religions and that they should feel free to attend another religion's services and explore what interests them. If they have friends who practice another religion, I might suggest a sort of trade-off, each goes to a service with the other to check it out (I'd mention it to the other kid's parents first, of course). When they get to be about 12, I think it would be appropriate to suggest they spend some time finding out more about other religions, maybe even make an assignment out of it if I convince Mr Sanil to let me homeschool. UUs often do a sort of coming of age ceremony where teenagers learn more about Unitarian Universalism, figuring out what they believe, and then sometimes presenting that to the congregation. I think that's a pretty neat way of handling it, and easily adapted to include exploring other religions and allowing the kid to decide whether they want to keep following their parents' religion/s or find something new for themselves.
I like your way of handling in. :) I keep forgetting about UU because...I don't know why. I think I still sort of don't get it.
DeleteI don't know why but I feel like there needs to be some sort of *plan* in regards to kids and religion. Like a laid out, set, 'okay, we're going to do this this and *this* and you're going to be exposed to all these different things so that you *get it*.' Maybe I'm mentally overcompensating for not getting similar opportunities? Like I feel gypped and am determined that my imaginary children will have all the chances that I never did? :0)
I've been thinking about this too. Having a religious mother and my significant other having one as well I am concerned about the backlash if my child say doesn't get baptized. But even if I did find a Christian based religion I liked I still think I would attempt to have my child attend other religious services. Easy way to do that is to attend a UU church sometimes. Their Sunday schools especially will focus on multiple religions. I want my kid to feel like they have a choice. Not like they were forced.
ReplyDeleteBut how in depth can a Sunday school class here and there really get? A surface understanding is not enough to base your beliefs on. It's still a good place to start though.
DeleteThere's no way to find the perfect balance because there just isn't a perfect balance. We're all biased and it has no choice but to come out in the way we educate our children. My husband would like them to be super strict Muslims and definitely doesn't want our children looking into other religions at all. I want them to be raised Muslim, but open-minded Muslims who know about other religions and respect other religions. My own belief is that there is truth in all of them and I'd like to show them this. I will definitely allow and encourage my children to think for themselves and will ask questions to make them wonder and reflect but I already know that what I will say and what I will show and even what I will ask will lean them towards believing in the same way I believe, even if I make efforts to show religions that don't interest me much or traditions that are not very meaningful to me.
ReplyDeleteThat's true. Even in my (theoretical) choices of which religions I would make certain to expose my children to I've got clear prejudices and favorites that come through.
DeleteI think it must be much easier to come from a place where you are, where you believe in one but see value in all of them. I think it's maybe harder, or this could just be me again, to have faith in none and still want to give children the chance to make their own choices and be fair about it. Because your attitudes can't help but come through.
Not to be rude, but since you claim your husband is a "super strict Muslim" I am surprised he allows you even to go online... =/ suppression is the most trait that is utilized by a religion to control the masses and for years in the USA we have over come this sexist realm. Sadly recently this issue has not started again, a woman not able to even speak about her own Vagina when the topic is about the subject of birth control just does to show we are leading down a path of suppression of certain rights of people (for them to be gay, woman, non-religious or liberal) it seems history always repeats itself...
DeleteI'll be raising my kids in a sceptic environment, but I want them to know - and question, religions in order to understand other people better. This would include (at an appropriate age) reading parts of religious books, possibly attending services etc.
ReplyDeleteIt all depends on the child's age to be honest, the proper development stage (age 8-11) needs to be established before information should be used to let him/her make a proper response based on what they feel and what they believe. When the time does come do not shy away from letting them learn all.. and when I say all I do not speak just of the Abrahamic religions, be sure to allow Polytheism and Monotheism just as much equal ground on the belief scale. However Science and understanding Logic and Reason should also be just as important (if not more in any cases, as an Atheist I am more for that aspect of course). I was raised in a not-so religious family, however did attend church a few times and Sunday school. However I never could buy into the coming from 2 people and flood story, so even at an early age I questioned religion. It takes time, understanding and a huge amount of effort in your own choice "in this case your child's choice" to choose what he/she wants.
ReplyDeleteHowever I think I would be very tempted to fight if my child was becoming a right-wing fundie, specially a 6k yr old earth one.. I just can not stand the logic in this, and I think over all it's a destroying factor in our education system.
I would try to give equal time to all different kinds of religion, though I admit that I think I'd have a hard time waiting until the child was 8. By that age they'll already have been exposed through school friends and the media. Wouldn't it be better to start younger with educating them on various belief systems while emphasizing their equality?
DeleteI think you've hit the most important factor though, which is teaching the child to think logically and to reason through anything that they're presented with.
if my child was becoming a right-wing fundie, specially a 6k yr old earth one..
Oh, I'd have to crush that before it got anywhere. I can't stand those people.
"if my child was becoming a right-wing fundie, specially a 6k yr old earth one.."
ReplyDeleteYeah no way I'd let that happen either.
I have to agree with Amber that I think it's necessary to start teaching earlier, but there's a big difference, to me, between teaching saying "this is the truth" and teachign saying "some people believe such and such".