Okay, okay, remember the post about animals and how I can't stand them being hurt?
I have somehow managed to never read the novella Apt Pupil before. It's about a little psycho kid who figures out that one of his neighbors is a Nazi in hiding. So he (like you do) goes and blackmails the guy into telling him all the juicy details of the concentration camps. And it goes as well as you expect something like that to go.
I'm reading along, quietly freaked out because holy crap this kid is *wrong in the head*.
And then the Nazi guy catches a stray cat and shoves it in his oven so he'll stop having nightmares. And he's talking about adopting a puppy because bigger is better, you know?
*shudder* I'm skimming this fucking story. I see any mention of any kind of animal and I skip ahead.
The fucking kid ran over a wounded bird on his bike.
I don't even-
I hate this story so much.
I want both of these people dead.
Monday, October 10, 2011
Guidance or Matrixing?
I think I've talked about the idea of matrixing before. It's a term that I've mainly heard used when talking about photographs, videos or audio recordings where people see or hear something that wasn't there in 'life'. Faces in windows, mirrors or the trees. Like, say you're looking at a door. There's a stain pattern in the wood and it looks like a face. Or a person. One of the doors at the salon I go to has a pattern on it that looks like an evil monkey face.
It's not *really* a face. No one purposefully put that pattern there. It's an accident of shapes and then my mind making sense out of random things. Our brains are trained to recognize faces and the shapes of people, so we see them where they aren't.
A similar thing can happen to people in life. Where we see patterns and a meaning where there isn't any.
Say that someone notices a streak of the number 5 coming up in their life. They catch the fifth bus, they find five dollars, they have five china cups with the same pattern, etc. etc. etc. And then the start looking back through their life and they find more and more fives. So they start to think that the number five has a mystical, personal meaning for them. Does it *really* mean something?
Well, in so far as our perception dictates reality, sure. But does it mean that there's some divine force out there putting all these fives in that persons path? Or is it just coincidence and the way our brains work combining to make us see a pattern and meaning where there isn't one?
And what the hell does this have to do with anything, I hear you asking.
Well. I know a lot of people who feel guided by divinity of one sort or another. Most of them have not felt so guided for their entire lives. It's something that came later to them.
So they're noticing something. The end of some thread and looking back and seeing this pattern. It's something that is only clear to them in hindsight. And, of course, now that they've recognized the pattern they look for it in everything and tend to find it because that's how it works. If you want to see the pattern badly enough you will see it.
Of course, people who believe that they're being guided or believe in the pattern will argue that it is there and that their god/gods/divine essence put it there. And it's kind of hard to disprove that.
Sometimes you don't even *want* to disprove it because it's so easy to fall into it yourself. I was thinking about this, about how some people feel *led* which is not something that I've ever really felt. I've felt drawn to do this or that thing, but I've never really noticed a pattern of the kind I'm describing.
Anyway. I was thinking about some of the people I know who feel that there's been this pattern, this presence in their lives that they only recognized at a later date and I realized that I could find a similar pattern/presence in my life. And for a few minutes there was this weightless sort of 'oh shit' moment because it deals with something I had left behind. An aspect of that that, at the time, I had neglected because of personal emotional issues.
But, having given myself time to calm the hell down - is it really a presence? Or is it just that this thing appeals to a part of my personality, so I've been seeking it out both consciously and subconsciously and now that I'm thinking about it it seems to be a pattern imposed from the outside? Combined with the lack of direction I've been feeling lately in regards to spiritual things that would make it an easy solution to latch on to.
Clearly I'm holding back on jumping that bandwagon because, frankly, I suspect that it's more to do with my own brain than with anything external acting on my life. But then, I'm a skeptical person by nature. Not very trusting, even of my own experiences, such as they may be. The vehicle through which we experience reality is limited, our understanding is limited, and it's easy to make something out of nothing.
Also, October and the upcoming Samhain, always make me nostalgic. Make me miss things I've left behind and feel the pulse and pull of them more acutely than I do at any other time of the year.
It's not *really* a face. No one purposefully put that pattern there. It's an accident of shapes and then my mind making sense out of random things. Our brains are trained to recognize faces and the shapes of people, so we see them where they aren't.
A similar thing can happen to people in life. Where we see patterns and a meaning where there isn't any.
Say that someone notices a streak of the number 5 coming up in their life. They catch the fifth bus, they find five dollars, they have five china cups with the same pattern, etc. etc. etc. And then the start looking back through their life and they find more and more fives. So they start to think that the number five has a mystical, personal meaning for them. Does it *really* mean something?
Well, in so far as our perception dictates reality, sure. But does it mean that there's some divine force out there putting all these fives in that persons path? Or is it just coincidence and the way our brains work combining to make us see a pattern and meaning where there isn't one?
And what the hell does this have to do with anything, I hear you asking.
Well. I know a lot of people who feel guided by divinity of one sort or another. Most of them have not felt so guided for their entire lives. It's something that came later to them.
So they're noticing something. The end of some thread and looking back and seeing this pattern. It's something that is only clear to them in hindsight. And, of course, now that they've recognized the pattern they look for it in everything and tend to find it because that's how it works. If you want to see the pattern badly enough you will see it.
Of course, people who believe that they're being guided or believe in the pattern will argue that it is there and that their god/gods/divine essence put it there. And it's kind of hard to disprove that.
Sometimes you don't even *want* to disprove it because it's so easy to fall into it yourself. I was thinking about this, about how some people feel *led* which is not something that I've ever really felt. I've felt drawn to do this or that thing, but I've never really noticed a pattern of the kind I'm describing.
Anyway. I was thinking about some of the people I know who feel that there's been this pattern, this presence in their lives that they only recognized at a later date and I realized that I could find a similar pattern/presence in my life. And for a few minutes there was this weightless sort of 'oh shit' moment because it deals with something I had left behind. An aspect of that that, at the time, I had neglected because of personal emotional issues.
But, having given myself time to calm the hell down - is it really a presence? Or is it just that this thing appeals to a part of my personality, so I've been seeking it out both consciously and subconsciously and now that I'm thinking about it it seems to be a pattern imposed from the outside? Combined with the lack of direction I've been feeling lately in regards to spiritual things that would make it an easy solution to latch on to.
Clearly I'm holding back on jumping that bandwagon because, frankly, I suspect that it's more to do with my own brain than with anything external acting on my life. But then, I'm a skeptical person by nature. Not very trusting, even of my own experiences, such as they may be. The vehicle through which we experience reality is limited, our understanding is limited, and it's easy to make something out of nothing.
Also, October and the upcoming Samhain, always make me nostalgic. Make me miss things I've left behind and feel the pulse and pull of them more acutely than I do at any other time of the year.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
SPN: The Girl Next Door
I wasn't feeling well last night (stupid female biology) so this is a day late. :)
I do worry/wonder about that cut of Sam's. Not that I think he's infected by Leviathan's or anything, but it was Purgatory magic blood glass. That's got to be bad.
Oh, hey. So I know this is supposed to be all serious and worrying, but Dean in a backless hospital gown! Full rear nudity anyone?
BOBBY!!!!!!!!!!!!! I knew he couldn't be dead.
I like stoned!Dean.
Limp faster!
Ha! It's cute that Dean and Bobby are addicted to Spanish soap operas.
Again: Bobby is the smartest guy on this show. I really do need to do the Bobby & Hendricks appreciation post.
Wasn't Mistress Magda the lady that Chuck was talking to? I think she was.
No, Sam. Cake <> pie.
Kitsune! Youko Kurama! Naruto! I'm having an anime moment.
Also, bb!Sam.
And Sam's doing something stupid.
My Bloody Valentine ref.
This will not end well Dean.
Red Hood tshirt!
Sammy's talking to Dean, right? I mean, bb!Sammy in the flashbacks.
bb!Sammy is adorable. And his brothers repository of knowledge. 'How do you talk to girls?'
Her necklace. Isn't there something about kitsune and moons? Too lazy to look it up.
Hey! I love her!
Ah, I want kitsune girl and her kid to live. Let them live!
Dude. Sam needs to stop dating. It never works out.
Oh, Dean. Shit.
Seriously, I mean. Okay, that was cold. But uh...if you want to be responsible, you kind of should have killed that kid too.
'Everything is better with cheese.' That's just so wrong.
JO!!!!!
I do worry/wonder about that cut of Sam's. Not that I think he's infected by Leviathan's or anything, but it was Purgatory magic blood glass. That's got to be bad.
Oh, hey. So I know this is supposed to be all serious and worrying, but Dean in a backless hospital gown! Full rear nudity anyone?
BOBBY!!!!!!!!!!!!! I knew he couldn't be dead.
I like stoned!Dean.
Limp faster!
Ha! It's cute that Dean and Bobby are addicted to Spanish soap operas.
Again: Bobby is the smartest guy on this show. I really do need to do the Bobby & Hendricks appreciation post.
Wasn't Mistress Magda the lady that Chuck was talking to? I think she was.
No, Sam. Cake <> pie.
Kitsune! Youko Kurama! Naruto! I'm having an anime moment.
Also, bb!Sam.
And Sam's doing something stupid.
My Bloody Valentine ref.
This will not end well Dean.
Red Hood tshirt!
Sammy's talking to Dean, right? I mean, bb!Sammy in the flashbacks.
bb!Sammy is adorable. And his brothers repository of knowledge. 'How do you talk to girls?'
Her necklace. Isn't there something about kitsune and moons? Too lazy to look it up.
Hey! I love her!
Ah, I want kitsune girl and her kid to live. Let them live!
Dude. Sam needs to stop dating. It never works out.
Oh, Dean. Shit.
Seriously, I mean. Okay, that was cold. But uh...if you want to be responsible, you kind of should have killed that kid too.
'Everything is better with cheese.' That's just so wrong.
JO!!!!!
The Three Parts of Morality
Back to Mere Christianity!
I actually don't have much to say or argue with for this chapter.
Lewis posits that there are actually three facets to morality.
1. It is concerned with fair play and harmony between human individuals
2. Harmonizing the internal drives of an individual
3. The general purpose of human life
I have no argument with those. I even agree with Lewis when he says that people tend to focus far too much on only the first aspect, thereby ignoring the second two.
People can legislate morality, sort of, by making laws. But as Lewis says, all the laws in the world won't actually *make* a person moral, internally. They can act moral on the outside and still turn around and beat their spouse when no one can see. An immoral person, a bad person, will still be like that no matter what the law says. They'll just have to find ways to go about doing what they want without getting caught.
It does lead back to the question of where morality comes from. I tend to think that it is not something that we know innately as I think you all remember, but that it is something that is taught to us. The teaching starts so young and is so pervasive that it seems innate to many people but if you took a child and raised them on an island without ever teaching them right from wrong they would not have the same moral values as any society on earth. They wouldn't understand why theft is wrong, or killing someone else because they'd never had the interactions that would teach them the consequences of those things.
We invented morality (or it was invented for us) to protect and preserve society and the human race from extinction. Morality is not universal - the details vary so widely from age to age and society to society that I don't know how anyone could make that claim with a straight face.
But I digress. As I said, I don't disagree with Lewis that morality has three aspects. And they're all related - they all lend themselves towards the goal of morality which is to help keep humans from killing ourselves off.
This was just an introductory chapter so we'll see what else Lewis has to say.
I actually don't have much to say or argue with for this chapter.
Lewis posits that there are actually three facets to morality.
1. It is concerned with fair play and harmony between human individuals
2. Harmonizing the internal drives of an individual
3. The general purpose of human life
I have no argument with those. I even agree with Lewis when he says that people tend to focus far too much on only the first aspect, thereby ignoring the second two.
People can legislate morality, sort of, by making laws. But as Lewis says, all the laws in the world won't actually *make* a person moral, internally. They can act moral on the outside and still turn around and beat their spouse when no one can see. An immoral person, a bad person, will still be like that no matter what the law says. They'll just have to find ways to go about doing what they want without getting caught.
It does lead back to the question of where morality comes from. I tend to think that it is not something that we know innately as I think you all remember, but that it is something that is taught to us. The teaching starts so young and is so pervasive that it seems innate to many people but if you took a child and raised them on an island without ever teaching them right from wrong they would not have the same moral values as any society on earth. They wouldn't understand why theft is wrong, or killing someone else because they'd never had the interactions that would teach them the consequences of those things.
We invented morality (or it was invented for us) to protect and preserve society and the human race from extinction. Morality is not universal - the details vary so widely from age to age and society to society that I don't know how anyone could make that claim with a straight face.
But I digress. As I said, I don't disagree with Lewis that morality has three aspects. And they're all related - they all lend themselves towards the goal of morality which is to help keep humans from killing ourselves off.
This was just an introductory chapter so we'll see what else Lewis has to say.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Why's it always got to be the pets?
I was watching the premier of American Horror Story last night and the wife has a little dog. And I watched the entire episode waiting for that dog to get killed and knowing that, frankly, the story so far is not good enough for me to keep watching the show after they kill that dog.
People have different squicks, different things that just kill a story for them. Animal death is mine. I have to be very invested in a story to keep going after that.
I know that they're going to kill this dog because that's what happens whenever there's a pet in a story like this.
Supernatural killed a dog a couple seasons back and if it had been any other show? I probably would have stopped watching for a while if not all together. Puppy...
I Am Legend? The dog dies. I hate that movie for that reason alone.
I'll never see Marley & Me (or read the book). Where the Red Fern Grows? Forget it. Old Yeller. The movie coming out in December called War Horse? I'm pretty sure that horse dies. I won't see the movie until I know for sure otherwise. There was an article a long time ago about a Richard Gere movie and it was all about him and this dog. I got the impression from the article that the dog dies and I have wiped all knowledge of that movie from my mind. Paranormal Activity 2 escapes this just because the dog lives.
You can do pretty much anything you want to the humans in the story and I'll be okay. But throw in a pet that gets hurt or killed and I'm gone...
People have different squicks, different things that just kill a story for them. Animal death is mine. I have to be very invested in a story to keep going after that.
I know that they're going to kill this dog because that's what happens whenever there's a pet in a story like this.
Supernatural killed a dog a couple seasons back and if it had been any other show? I probably would have stopped watching for a while if not all together. Puppy...
I Am Legend? The dog dies. I hate that movie for that reason alone.
I'll never see Marley & Me (or read the book). Where the Red Fern Grows? Forget it. Old Yeller. The movie coming out in December called War Horse? I'm pretty sure that horse dies. I won't see the movie until I know for sure otherwise. There was an article a long time ago about a Richard Gere movie and it was all about him and this dog. I got the impression from the article that the dog dies and I have wiped all knowledge of that movie from my mind. Paranormal Activity 2 escapes this just because the dog lives.
You can do pretty much anything you want to the humans in the story and I'll be okay. But throw in a pet that gets hurt or killed and I'm gone...
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
*pouts* begin wank/
The Playboy Club was cancelled.
Okay, this happens. TV shows don't do well and they get canned. I get that. But what I don't understand is the shit fit that people were/are having about it being degrading and sexist. I mean, I guess intellectually I get it. I see their angle I just don't agree with it.
*Can* it be degrading to show women wearing skimpy clothes and being hit on by men?
Sure. Not arguing that. But I think the difference is in the attitude of the women and the portrayal (since this is fiction) of the reasons for them being there. Is it falling into the cliche of women who are only escorts/porn stars/exotic dancers/Bunnies/whatever because they have low self esteem and they need men to lust after them and take care of them to have value in their own or any other persons eyes?
Then it's degrading.
Is it degrading to show women who are doing their jobs because they like them? If the jobs just happen to have less clothing involved? I don't think so. One of the Bunnies was working there to pay for her medical degree because her father told her that 'women don't do that' and refused to help her like he would have a son. One of them was saving the money to buy land so she could have something that was hers. And there were other stories that we didn't get to see yet with depth to them.
Why is their method of earning money less valid than a woman who works waitressing? Or secretarial work or any other kind of job that a woman does? I don't think it is.
On the flip side, they're running a show where the woman is a hard boiled detective type in the place of The Playboy Club until the other replacement show is ready.
I want to know why it's not sexist and degrading to portray a woman who has to act and dress in a stereotypical 'male' fashion in order to get respect but it's degrading to portray women who are proud of their gender and their sexuality? They don't want to be men and they don't want to be kept pets. They just want to be given the same respect and opportunity as a man would be, no matter what the job that they choose is.
Why is it fair game to make women feel like they have to have a metaphorical penis before they can be equal?
/end wank
Okay, this happens. TV shows don't do well and they get canned. I get that. But what I don't understand is the shit fit that people were/are having about it being degrading and sexist. I mean, I guess intellectually I get it. I see their angle I just don't agree with it.
*Can* it be degrading to show women wearing skimpy clothes and being hit on by men?
Sure. Not arguing that. But I think the difference is in the attitude of the women and the portrayal (since this is fiction) of the reasons for them being there. Is it falling into the cliche of women who are only escorts/porn stars/exotic dancers/Bunnies/whatever because they have low self esteem and they need men to lust after them and take care of them to have value in their own or any other persons eyes?
Then it's degrading.
Is it degrading to show women who are doing their jobs because they like them? If the jobs just happen to have less clothing involved? I don't think so. One of the Bunnies was working there to pay for her medical degree because her father told her that 'women don't do that' and refused to help her like he would have a son. One of them was saving the money to buy land so she could have something that was hers. And there were other stories that we didn't get to see yet with depth to them.
Why is their method of earning money less valid than a woman who works waitressing? Or secretarial work or any other kind of job that a woman does? I don't think it is.
On the flip side, they're running a show where the woman is a hard boiled detective type in the place of The Playboy Club until the other replacement show is ready.
I want to know why it's not sexist and degrading to portray a woman who has to act and dress in a stereotypical 'male' fashion in order to get respect but it's degrading to portray women who are proud of their gender and their sexuality? They don't want to be men and they don't want to be kept pets. They just want to be given the same respect and opportunity as a man would be, no matter what the job that they choose is.
Why is it fair game to make women feel like they have to have a metaphorical penis before they can be equal?
/end wank
I don't even know. It's 2:17 am here and I'm still up because I was writing something for someone. That's done, so I answered a few emails and now I'm going to bed.
I'm determined to get the whole Mere Christianity posts going again. Now that I'm off of vacation and have less time to do them - it would have made sense to do them last week when I was off, but that didn't happen. I did Florida things and when it was rainy I sat in the house and read Stephen King novels. And then I watched scary movies just to help freak myself out. Moving on...
Actually, I'm not moving on. That's it. Bed now.
Sleep is god. And in addition. I watched this show about ten people who went out to live like cave people for 10 day. Or maybe it was 11 people. Whatever. I want to do that! It needs to be like one of those retreats people go on. So I can go out and run around and see if I've got hunter/gatherer instincts left. and also so I can erase the shame of almost all of the women on the show being whiny lazy people who didn't help with the hard work. Like, three of them did work, after periods of asshatery. One even helped kill the elk. But two of them sat and did fuck all and whined because the freaking fish still had it's head on it and then she wouldn't eat the elk because it used to be alive and all. Whinebitchmoan.
I'm determined to get the whole Mere Christianity posts going again. Now that I'm off of vacation and have less time to do them - it would have made sense to do them last week when I was off, but that didn't happen. I did Florida things and when it was rainy I sat in the house and read Stephen King novels. And then I watched scary movies just to help freak myself out. Moving on...
Actually, I'm not moving on. That's it. Bed now.
Sleep is god. And in addition. I watched this show about ten people who went out to live like cave people for 10 day. Or maybe it was 11 people. Whatever. I want to do that! It needs to be like one of those retreats people go on. So I can go out and run around and see if I've got hunter/gatherer instincts left. and also so I can erase the shame of almost all of the women on the show being whiny lazy people who didn't help with the hard work. Like, three of them did work, after periods of asshatery. One even helped kill the elk. But two of them sat and did fuck all and whined because the freaking fish still had it's head on it and then she wouldn't eat the elk because it used to be alive and all. Whinebitchmoan.
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