Monday, May 16, 2011

this is not the right response to questions

One guy at work made an offhand comment about trying to go to church so he could 'recapture his soul'. This led to a few of us to talking about Sunday school, somehow. And one girl laughed and said that she was kicked out of Sunday school in the fourth grade because she asked too many questions. So here's the story.

The class was learning about and discussing Jesus' death. So my friend asked how old Jesus was when he died. She was told he was about 30 years old. So she asked if he was married. The teacher told her no, Jesus wasn't married. Well what about a girlfriend? No, Jesus didn't have a girlfriend. She asked *why* Jesus wasn't married. 'He just wasn't the marrying kind.' Now my friends parents' best friends were, on the father's side, a Jewish family, and on the mother's side, a gay couple. This is important information. So she thinks about it. And then she asks, was Jesus' mother alive? Yes. Thinks some more. Well, then, was Jesus gay?

Which is the point at which she was made to sit out in the hall with her mother. The church kicked her out of Sunday school, which meant that they rushed her through confirmation and first communion, because that was the only way they could get her out of the classes. Basically, she got kicked out for being inquisitive and because the teacher lacked imagination and cleverness of thought.

10 comments:

  1. How sad that the teacher would not take time for her and essentially punish her for her inquisitiveness! Jesus said to bring the children to him. I bet he wouldn't have minded their questions.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yeah. Very sad. Well, for her part, she got out of the classes years early. So maybe that was good!

    ReplyDelete
  3. That is horrible! It is situations like this that can turn people off church for life. We should honour and encourage inquisitiveness and rejoice that someone is taking such active interest in the church and their religion. So sad, that such a great opportunity got turned into such narrow-mindedness, but unfortunately I think it is rather typical.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Becky,

    It's very unfortunate and, I agree, typical. The teachers don't respond well to questions that are outside their narrow points of view and this turns the children away. In my opinion, this is because the people most likely to volunteer to teach sunday school are those who are more conservative in their views within their own denominations. So when they are presented with a question that they may see as offensive or divergent, they react with the same level of insult that they would if it was an adult questioning them, forgetting, I think that they are dealing with *children* who will take points and throw them all together to come up with an answer or a question. They should embrace those questions, not reject the children who ask them.

    ReplyDelete
  5. "In my opinion, this is because the people most likely to volunteer to teach sunday school are those who are more conservative in their views within their own denominations."

    Then the more liberal ones need start volunteering, right? Do you think they would take time for remembering it is children they are working with? Just curious about your thoughts on this. Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I definitely think you have a point in saying that it is the more conservative people who tend to volunteer, possibly because they tend to be more passionate about their religion and their beliefs. But like you also said, this is kids we are working with. They haven't learnt that "you're not supposed to ask that", and with such poor responses, I think really we are just giving them bad experiences, and making it less likely that they will continue to go to church.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Susanne,

    Exactly. They do need to be, in general, more involved in their denominations. I'm making huge generalizations, of course. There are plenty of liberal people who are deeply involved in their church.

    Do you think they would take time for remembering it is children they are working with?

    It's not so much that they'd be more willing or able to remember that it's children they're working with. It's more that they'd be less likely to have a gut reaction to a question or a comment that is out of the theological norms.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Becky,

    I think they tend to volunteer and last as teachers less because they're more passionate about their religion, because I know plenty of people who are more liberal in their theology who are just as passionate. It's more that the Sunday school is a church institution, and the church (whichever one you look at) is going to promote and teach the traditional, conservative point of view. And swimming upstream against that is tiring, even assuming the liberal teacher doesn't get ousted for teaching unorthodox things.

    But like you also said, this is kids we are working with. They haven't learnt that "you're not supposed to ask that",

    I don't think kids should ever learn that they shouldn't ask something. How many discoveries would be lost if people didn't ask odd or 'inappropriate' questions?

    and with such poor responses, I think really we are just giving them bad experiences, and making it less likely that they will continue to go to church.

    Exactly. There are a lot of things that can drive someone away from their church. Learning that your questions are not welcome is one of them, especially for a child that is highly intelligent and curious.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Is this girl me? lol I use to ask questions all the time and man did the teacher get mad. Its actually how I started to question Jesus as God at around 9 or 10 years old. It didn't make sense and no one would explain it to me. They would just say "That is what the Bible says." WRONG ANSWER btw. Worst answer EVER. Do not tell a child "because the Bible says so." Ugh.

    The other issue is these people aren't actual teachers. They have no training at all on how to teach. Meaning they do not know how to respond to them when they question. It throws them off and they don't know what to do because of it. I kinda feel bad because unless you are really solid in knowledge of Christianity I think Sunday School could be very difficult to teach properly. Especially if you have ages 6-10 when they still might pay attention and question. If you have older they won't even care. By then they have absolutely no interest in being there.

    ReplyDelete
  10. LK,

    Honestly, she reminds me of you!

    I asked a lot of questions in Sunday school, but I never got kicked out. Our teacher was actually pretty good, I guess. She was a volunteer, but she knew the Bible and was willing to put in the time and the effort to come up with answers to questions that she didn't already know. I left later, but it wasn't because of my Sunday school! :)

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...