So, I'm not going to the church tomorrow.
I just, I don't feel up to it, which is stupid. I know.
I just had an argument with my mother about my weight and my being unhappy and depressed and lacking self confidence and she's convinced that if I could just feel better about myself then I wouldn't be so unhappy and who the hell knows, maybe she's right. I don't know.
I agreed to go see 'someone' (not a shrink. i refuse. they're all quacks.), but like a nutritionist/exercise consultant type, whatever they're called. Because it's not working on my own. I was loosing weight, gaining muscle, and then it stopped, and reversed. I admit I slacked on the food, and I need to exercise more, but I don't *feel* like it. I don't feel like I have the energy. I *know* that if I *did* force myself to do what I need to do, I'd start *feeling* more entergetic, but I just can't be bothered. Which is because (as mom thinks) I'm depressed. But I don't *think* I'm depressed....
I'm going to go make myself a salad.