Smallville - Scion

*flail*

Okay, Smallville, you've had your problems. We all know it.

Like the distinct LACK OF FUCKING FLYING! that is not another Kryptonian or in a dream or some shit. Or your LACK OF THE GODDAMN BATMAN! *cough*

But I approve of your Conner!

Now give him a Timmy!

ps: Sanil, all I saw was a Legion ring in the preview. No Orange Lantern Ring.

Smallville S10E06 - Harvest

This whole Vigilante Registrations Act thing? Is such a rip off of the Marvel storyline. Moving on.

I like the run down of all the weird things and how Clark's all...'Kryptonian.' over and over again.

I can't figure out what Lois is saying when she's whining about Clark getting them assigned to the cherry festival. It sort of sounds like 'chop-block' but that doesn't make any sense...

Of course there's no reception. This is supposed to be a kind of creepy horror ep I assume. Being so close to Halloween and all.

Lois, honey, have you ever seen Children of the Corn? Yeah.

*snicker* I do like Clark and Lois as a couple. Mostly because Lois is so sarcastic and snarky and Clark's just plain whipped.

And oh, hey, look, Lois had horse and buggy girl have disappeared.

You know, they pulled over almost right next to the horse and buggy. There's a sign propped against the buggy so it's not like she just drove up. Clark should have seen it and not done super-changing the tire tricks. Moving on from the blatant issue...

Hey look, commercial for Supernatural! I need to go watch the beat down again when I'm done with Smallville.

Clark! If there was no service before, there's still going to be no service!

Oooh...magic must be afoot. Clark's cut and bleeding.

And the deputy is suspicious acting. It's like every horror movie ever.

And how did you miss the primitive stop stick, super sight?

*throws hands in the air* From 'you're a suspect' one second to, 'ooohhh...buggy tracks! you must be right!' the next. I think people in tv land are just dumb...

And another thing! Why'd Clark superspeed right back up to the car? The girl could have still been there and how're you going to explain that?

And why, if Lois left willingly, did she leave the car door ajar?

Hey! 'Ruth' is Mrs. Evil God from 'A Very Supernatural Christmas'!

Did Tess buy friends for Alexander?

Alexander is creepy. Really he is.

And Tess, I think you're too late.

Blue kryptonite. I guess it's not magic. Whatever.

And, hey, look, of course the deputy's in on it! One of us! One of us!

Look, Lex is gonna escape. Color me shocked.

Didn't they already say at the beginning that the clones have Lex's memories? So why is she surprised that Alexander knows the S symbol of the House of El? I mean sure, maybe it's all jumbled up, but it's all in there.

Dear Tess: You're kind of an idiot. I know you mean well, but he's actually a tiny, evil genius. You should act accordingly.

Oh, look, human sacrifice! Again, shock. Really.

See, lines like that are *always* creepier when delivered by cute little kids. It's why they do it!

Who leaves people unbound in houses where they might be able to escape? Stupid villains, that's who.

Is this the ep where Lois proves she's tough? Cause we kind of all already knew that.

Hi Clark! You are a muscley hunk of man, aren't you? But I actually think Padalecki is more ripped.

See? Lex's memories. But all twisty.

Also, creepy kid! I keep telling you! Kids are *creepy*!

Hey! Tess just slapped the evil kid! For a second there I like you better. And then you got on your knees beginning the little psycho. Never a good plan.

S'up with the scarecrow masks?

Ack!

Though, you know, Clark's hair looks kind of awesome as he's laying on his side bleeding to death.

How'd they manage to set the meteor on fire? *That's* a neat trick.

'Our lord has shown us the light'

He Who Walks Behind the Rows!

So has that meteor been burning for 20 years? Why?

Lois, you can't reason with fanatics.

'Faith has nothing to do with blindly following this misguided messiah. I believe in knowing right from wrong.'

Huh? What just happened? With the blue and then flowing yellow? *is confused* Clearly Clark has his powers back. Maybe...immunity?

Hi Clark with a shotgun!

So...not all his powers? He healed, and the blue kryptonite fire didn't kill him... But he's not all super...

*giggle* I really do love Lois!

Hey, it's messiah Clark! Cause Superman wasn't enough of a messianic figure before. Everybody remember the falling from the end of last season? Yeah.

Oh, hey, super speed. So his power *are* all back. It just didn't look like he was superspeedy when he ran to save Lois. Plus, if he had been, they would have avoided the fire all together. So the powers came back on line slowly I guess.

Except now Alexander is Lex. And we don't want him cured.

Oooh! Hey, I know who the doc is now! Lexia Doig! She's Michael Shanks' wife. I knew I recognised her from somewhere.

That reminds me. I think Katee Sackoff was on CSI this week. *totters off to check* Yep! I liked her detective. I hope they can bring her back.

Oh, hey, look, Lois and Clark are having sex. Anyone ever read that whole Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex 'article' by Larry Niven? I can never unthink those thoughts.

Is it...not quite. But at the rate he's aging, they *could* bring back Michael Rosenbaum. Please? Please please please? With sugar on top?

And now to rewatch the beat down! Ta!

Smallville S10E05 - Isis

Ooohhh. So Lois accidentally stole the necklace way back in Egypt. Then how'd no one notice until it got time to display it? Don't they have manifests?

Hey! It's Jo for Eureka! Hi crossover actor.

Helmet? Their insurance doesn't cover the grappling gun. Yes, practical considerations.

Green Arrow Girls?

The curator's name is Adrianna? Who wants to bet me her last name is Tomaz? Hi comics shout out!

Can we give Ollie a sidekick? Name him Roy Harper and call him Speedy? I think it'd be like giving him a puppy. Something to watch out for and take care of. Not that he did so well with Roy in the comics of course...

Why does Lois sometimes dress like a nut? I mean I get it in the context of the show, but who would wear that outfit? Why theme dress up to cover the event? Is it a costume museum exhibit? No. No it is not. So why? Not that she doesn't pull off the outfit, of course. But still.

Well, Lois really needs to clean out her purse more obviously.

On an unrelated note, I love Tim Gunn.

Of course Ollie speaks Egyptian.

Heh. Clark can always one up his own big news.

'she dumped you.'

'hey! we broke up!'

And the epic love of Clark and Lois is mentioned.

It's cute that Lois is trying to be domestic. Well as domestic as she gets anyway. She brought donuts.

And I still hate Cat.

Hey Lois! You do kind of look/sound like all you're wearing is the jacket and the boots.

Someone make Ms. Perky go away!

Geeze Lois, just pee on the whole area why don't you?

Wow. Apparently being possessed by Isis blows off a buttoned and tied coat *and* redoes your make-up. Who knew?

Confused Clark is cute.

See? If you could fly you could follow her, dufus.

Really Clark. You're an idiot apparently.

I have to agree with Ollie here. Tess cannot be trusted. At all.

So she's been searching for thousands of years and his heart that Set made sure she could *never find* just happens to be in Metropolis?

Oh, Cat. Such a moron.

I loved her cat eyes!

Dear Tess: Sending Alexander to a mental health facility will not end well. He's Lex and you do not need him resenting you later for this.

Tess will kill you to cover for Clark. She's that level of crazy.

It's cute when she laughs Cat out of the office.

Cat's so earnest and stupid all at once. How does she manage that?

Tess needling Ollie is also amusing. She finishes his sentences.

Again, why make the leap from priest of Osiris to actual Osiris? Meh. Comics logic taken to it's worst extreme here.

So who took Osiris' body and replaced it with dirt? Carter? Would he have known who it was? Or Seth?

And here's the lecture on love from a crazy goddess.

Nice speech. But here's the thing. You won't be bearing the cost for resurrecting Osiris. The rest of the world will.

And there's Clark being vulnerable to magic.

I am confused as to how this will bring back Osiris. If she doesn't have the body she can't reunite the heart with it. I could see if she was sacrificing Clark to reanimate the body once it was all together, but no body, no...oh. Hey, exposition explains it. So Osiris' body turned to dirt? Ummm...hello embalming anyone? The Egyptians were kind of awesome at it and have you seen the depictions of Osiris? He's a mummy. Anyway. *sticks fingers in ears* lalalaaaaaaaaaa

Oh! 'Teth-Adam' Hi Black Adam! And Kahndaq. You get to be dictator there for a while!

Hee! Why's there always an empty sarcophagus around when you need one?

When did someone put the heart back in the canopic jar?

Also, dear villains: please do not monologue. Just do your evil bit. Monologue allows the hero to get one over on you. See 'Evil Overlord List'.

Funnily enough I miss nothing about Chole. Move on and get with Dinah!

Tess as Watchtower. There's no way this ends well.

Huh. So Lex is staying with Tess. I see no way that this ends well either. He totally needs to be watched. Budding super villain here! But I admit that the face of evil is adorable at this stage.

OW! Cat stabbed Lois! Clark you should have let Lois punch her! *sigh* Cat's such an idiot. She had to spell out sex? Really? She does have a son. She somehow managed to have sex but be unable to say it?

*squee* The Clark tells Lois/Finds out Lois knew all along scene? A-freakin-dorable! Her little run and tackle? Yeah.

Though I do wanna know what they're shredding at the Planet that leaves big round gold confetti lying around.

Smallville S10E04 - Homecoming

I'm tired, so all you get is:

JAMES MARSTERS! PLEASE CAN I HAVE YOUR BABIES?


Okay, I lied. Also, floating! Which is a step away from ACTUAL FLIGHT YOU MORON! And don't think you can get away with saying futureClark flew and call it all good, show. OUR Clark must fly! And have Batman.

Preview: Sooo...Isis. Does that mean Black Adam? I *like* Black Adam. Which would also necessitate Captain Marvel. Billy Batson! Whee!

NOW FREAKING GIVE ME BATMAN YOU IDIOTS! YOU'RE PUTTING IN BLOODY ISIS! NO ONE KNOWS WHO THE HELL ISIS IS BUT *ME* AND OTHER NERDS OF MY OBSESSIVE CALIBRE!

Smallville S10E03 - Supergirl

Gee, I wonder what this ep's about?

And look, it's that exact. same. shot. of Darkseid.

I still dunno who Godfrey is. DeSaad? Gordon Godfrey.....

Oh, is he supposed to be some kind of host for Darkseid? Meh. Darkseid needs no host!

My god Lois and Clark are adorable in a painful kind of way. *pokes them with a stick*

Lois sent Cat to Alaska? How awesome is that.

Oh, so Smallville is stealing a page out of Marvel's books.

And lookit Kara!

oohhh..sorry. got distracted by the commercial for Supernatural. I know I've seen the ep, but it's CAS! Moving on.

'you and I are the last survivors of the house of el.' - and my brain immediately supplies, 'and we must mate!' I know, I know. But technically, it does make sense. If they wanted the Kryptonian race to survive then they'd have to breed. Or let Lex make clone babies with his and Clark's dna. Whichever.

Oooohhh....threats to Ollie! No deal! I still like Ollie!

Ugh. Chloe flashbacks! Make it stop!

Dear all superheroes: It's *never* a good idea to let your secret identity out. Never.

The hell? That kind of looked like Lois. Waitasec...

a) his voice did change when he said 'DeSaad' b) that is Lois. Dear, pretending to be a maid or a limo driver or whatever really only works if you haven't already confront him as yourself face to face.

'you've been on earth all this time and you can't even fly.'

*points up* WHAT I'VE BEEN SAYING!

PUSH HIM OFF! It's like teaching a kid to swim by throwing them in the deep end! It *always* works.

Oh, oh, here's a clue: the key to flying is to throw yourself at the ground and then *miss*.

Hah. Fail. You missed the critical part about not hitting the ground Clark.

What, is there only one Catholic church in all Metropolis? Oh, you couldn't be bothered to dress another set? Oh, okay.

I have to say I do love a woman in a suit.

Also, how the hell does Lois manage these costumes? The doodle on your face ain't foolin' anybody, Lois.

*headdesk* One does not play dark sex games with Darkseid. This will go badly for you, Lois. I mean it.

Seriously? Is everyone in Metropolis a moron?

Latex is overdone. I'm a leather purist I'm afraid.

Also I am rolling my eyes at this whole oh, well done Lois Lane bit.

The handcuffs were not fake Lois.

Why is it always with the elaborate death traps? For fucks sake, if you're a villain, just shoot the bait! Unless you need them alive for some actual reason, kill them. It's so much easier and it makes perfect tactical sense! You're planning on killing them and the hero anyway!

Saved by a girl, Clark. Saved by a girl. Okay, so she's an awesome girl, but still.

Ubergirl, Powergirl, Megagirl?

Powergirl's someone else. Also a Kryptonian, mind. But from a different reality.

Kara's disguise is much more effective than Clark's. Or any of Lois'.

And there goes Ollie to do a stupid thing.

Also, you know, once the idea of doubt in the superheroes is started, removing Godfrey doesn't even really begin to stop it.

STOP COPYING MARVEL SMALLVILLE!

The truth is...I am Iron Man!

I am Green Arrow.

Whatever. Copiers.

*flails* JAMES MARSTERS! I LOVE YOU!

Also, Misha did the blurb at the end of Smallville for Supernatural. I ALSO LOVE YOU! I have a harem of these men, seriously.

Smallville S10E02 - Shield

First, just for the record, S.H.I.E.L.D. belongs to Marvel. So don't go there, please.

Also, I am almost a week behind on tv. I've been busy, and also watching the A-Team movie twice since I got ahold of it. What? H-BAMF is distracting.

On to the show!

Hi Lois!

Tomb of Isis? Black Adam? Hmmm...he's really a Captain Marvel villain, and I don't think we have Captain Marvel here, do we?

Michael Shanks! Can't keep you out of Egypt, can we dear? Daniel Jackson, now Carter Hall. Mmmm...you do look good though. Not *quite* so scruffy and unshaven as the last time.

Ack! Cat Grant! I can't stand you already! Oh, that's right, I didn't like you in the comics either...though I do feel bad about what happened with your son.

Is Clark gonna smack a bitch? Sadly, no.

You know, I really can't stand Tess. Or Chloe, for that matter. I hate that they've set her up as WatchTower/Oracle, but she's *not* Oracle, and I don't like her. And she should not be dating Ollie. He's supposed to have a terrible relationship with Black Canary!

Above comment about Carter Halls' scruffiness? Strike that. It was the sand disguising it.

Also, yeah. Carter may beat Lois into a pulp.

Lois is making with the crazy talk. It's scary that she doesn't know that Carter knows, but she's babbling at him anyway. Yep. Get her drunk! *lol* I was never a Hawkman fan, but I do like Shanks' version.

Deadshot? WTF? That was actively hilarious. Cat's look 'seatbelts save lives!' just before her car blows up? Right. Who was that villain?

He has the electronic eye for Deadshot, and the accuracy, but it's the cowboy theme that's throwing me.

And I win the villain lottery yet again! God I am GOOD! But *why* the cowboy outfit? I mean, I get that he can't run around in the red and white body suit from the comics, but cowboy? Is that *really* less conspicuous?

And she's wearing a bulletproof vest.

Who's Godfrey? Inquiring minds want to know. OldLex?

Why would someone on the run, in hiding, become a reporter for a newspaper as big as The Planet is supposed to be? It's a little showy.

Thanks, Carter. Not only are you Hawkman, but Captain Obvious as well! Whatever. Just give me more Michael Shanks! Mebbe shirtless? Mebbe? Please?

Why's she wearing oriental clothes?

Hehehehe....I knew that was coming. Also, please don't make Lois into Shaera or however it's spelled. That makes no sense.

OldLex hired Deadshot?

WHY THE COWBOY THING?

And yet again the villain walks slowly and catches the running girl. Also having managed to her her into the kill zone. It's like magic!

And there's Cat's crush on Clark. Full blown and still INCREDIBLY ANNOYING!

Ooohhh...poison?

Hmmm...girl chick assassin. Who's that. Cheshire?

REALLY? Can it be Christmas this early and Chloe really be dead?

Probably not. My luck's not that good.

Damn and bugger. I was hopeful for a second there.

Oh, Suicide Squad. So much fun.

Not Cheshire. Plastique. I don't know who you are. *looks up Plastique* Cheshire'd be cooler.

Nietzsche also had some serious flaws, dear people.

*giggle* Not even as cool as Kon there, Clark. Jacket fail!

Hey look, it's Kara! Hi Kara! Oooh...bald headed guy in the shadows? Is it...OldLex?! Is Godfrey OldLex? *rewinds a bit* Hmmm...bald guy, but not OldLex.

Smallville S10E01 - Lazarus

Right, this should have been done last week, but I was finishing up the rewatch of Supernatural season 5, and so am behind on everything else. Playing catchup, and I remained unspoiled, so this is all new to me.

Watching Lois give Clark opportunities is funny.

Cadmus = cloning. Duh.

Hey, wait, does this mean we can have Kon? Probably not.

Dear guy playing cloneLex. You're not Michael Rosenbaum. This disappoints me.

Also, shades of Ripley in Alien Resurrection with the destroying the faulty clones by fire.

Oh look, damsel-in-distress-Lois. Hi there. Also shades of season one - and The Friendship. Ah, memories.

I am fairly certain green plants don't burn quite that easily.

Oh, he set fire to the dead corn in the clearing. Why is there a clearing of dead corn in the middle of a live field? And how and when did he have time to set a bomb on the Planet?

Screw you. Not flight. Jumping.

Daddy's mad!

What's the darkness? Eclipso? Naw. He's a lame villain. Darkseid?

Wait, wait, maybe that's not Jor-El. CloneLex was in there. Maybe, no...the Big Scary Dark Villain. Maybe.

Hmmm...nekkid Ollie. Even all tied up and tortured. Nice.

Hey! BabyLex! Yeah, no, that can't end badly Tess.

And the toy solider in the fire is not ominous. At. All.

Did Chloe just do a Stupid Thing? Yes. Are we surprised? No.

And Lois went to Africa. Because she's His Greatest Weakness. Blarg. Whatever. We all know better.

John! Pa! I've missed you, Pa...

Clark, your hallucinations are scarily realistic. You might wanna look into that.

HA! Oh, did I call it or what? HULLO DARKSEID! Wait, wait, wait, does this mean DeSaad? Apocalypse? *makes flaily motions and noises*

Huh. Okay. No flying, and no Batman, but it's only the first ep. Now to watch Ghost Adventures (I know, I know. It's the Bad Crack and I can't stop.) And then to rewatch the premiere of Supernatural. I watched it live, but drunken premiere party with friends does not *quite* make a conducive environment for analyses. However, there is much love for Supernatural's new season. Hi BOYS!

CW Smoosh

1. ONE WEEK TO GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Well, okay, like, a week and a day. Whatever. I saw the trailer for Season 6, and oh, gods, it was beautimus! (Though, worryingly, I think I saw Lisa get shot, and much as I am not a fan of the Dean settling down idea, I kind of like Lisa, and do not want her dead. Kay?) I got my blurays, and will be having an season 5 marathon with added Ghost Facers!

2. Vampire Diaries - you bear little to no resemblance to the books. I don't understand why, after Damon tried to kill the kid brother, everybody's just all, 'oh, it's *Damon*' and trusting him and letting him run about town anyway. I hate Bonnie. Period. Please make her go away. Also, cease dicking around with the werewolf storyline. Everyone gets it by now. It's not a surprise. 'Kay?

3. Smallville - I demand two freaking things of this final season: 1) FLIGHT, YOU BASTARDS! 2) BATMAN! You have the freaking Justice Society, and most of the League, and I very damn well want BATMAN.

Red Robin #14

My love for Tim Drake continues to grow. I like what Nicieza's been doing, so far.

Damian...meh. I wish that the Demon Spawn was more someone who I could see growing into Ibn al Xu'ffasch from Kingdom Come. Mostly because I really like that character. And he's not, which makes a little nerd part of me weep, because there is not enough Ibn love in the world. Anyway, Damian's grown on me since he first showed up, and he and Tim are going to be smacking each other up and down Gotham City forever. That's quite all right with me. :)

The hit list, both of them, are very Tim. And in being very Tim, why is anyone surprised at the fact that it is also very Bruce? It's been said before, and will be said again, Tim is more Batman than Batman.

You take a kid who was what? Four? And his entire life becomes about *one* thing - Batman. We've seen what the loss of his parents did to Bruce, and he was older. Tim's entire world is Batman, and the Mission. That's all. He's made himself *useful*, and any part of himself that's not useful, he shunts off to one side and either makes it useful, or keeps it battened down. I'd almost call him sociopathic, except that it's not that he doesn't feel emotion and understand it, but that he has no use for it, and so has managed to compartmentalize himself so much that it's effectively the same thing.

*Except*, for his one, big, gaping blind spot. It's vaguely Dick Grayson shaped. I mean, really, Tim, no file on Dick? I don't believe it. You know better. Heck, I'd almost bet that the files Damian found are dummy files, and his real stuff is elsewhere. I mean, no, Conner is another blind spot, but not like Dick. Tim loves Conner, they're best friends, and his death killed something in Tim (but he got better!). Dick...Dick was Tim's...everything, for so long, I don't think that Tim even thinks about it any more. Which is weird for someone like Tim.

As for the Tim/Damian fight, well, hell yeah! Let's not forget, much as Damian was trained by the League of Assassins, he's *ten*, and Tim's first teacher was *Lady Shiva*. He cut his teeth fighting King Snake, Joker, Two Face. Tim has beaten all of them. He beat Lady Shiva the last time they fought. He's spent time all over the world, with masters of all sorts. And don't tell me he didn't just pick up some new moves from Ra's and the League. (Which, okay, Tim and Ra's together? Makes me a happy camper. I want evil-Timmy! Give me an Elseworlds!)

Also, don't think I've forgotten that Ra's wants Tim to father his new heir. I haven't. Bloody well get on with that story line already! I want more Ra's/Tim interaction.

On a completely non-comics related front, Parker and Hardison are *so cute*. And Parker is jealous. So cute! It's like she's a real girl!

'You don't like it when he talks to other women.'

'I don't care who he talks to.'

'What you're feeling is called jealousy, Parker.'

'*snort**laughter* I'm not jealous, no. I'm not jealous. It's just that when I see them together...I. Don't. Like. It.'

Oh, crap, the 'pretzels'! Freaking kiss already, damn you two!

Hey, preview for next week, it's Jo from Supernatural! And John Schneider! Hi, Pa! I haven't seen you since you died on Smallville!