Monday, October 19, 2009

Very Important Lessons Learned From 'Paranormal Activity'

Right, so, I actually knew these before, but this movie is like a run down of a list of things one should not do.

1. If things start moving around on their own in your house, do not treat it like a party trick.

2. If you're hearing a phantom growl? Seek help, of the priestly variety, if you please. (Or pastor, if you don't have priests...)

3. Video taping to try and catch the phenomena for proof is okay, but trying to encourage the activity is a no no.

4. Do not, under any and all circumstances, bring a Ouija board into the house!

5. If you happen to have one, don't use it! As a matter of fact, get it out of the house!

6. Don't *talk* to the entity.

7. For the love of all that is good and holy, DON'T TAUNT THE ENTITY! Don't dare it, don't egg it on, don't stand in any place near/in/around your house and shout, 'Is that all you got?' or any variation thereof. Because the answer is no, no, that's not all it's got, and it will proceed to chuck you down (or up, as the case may be) the stairs for your temerity.

8. When a psychic you've hired to 'take care of the ghost' (cause you didn't listen to point 2 about the clergy) tells you it's not a ghost, and gives you the phone number of a demonologist, TAKE THE HINT!

9. Don't burn religious items in the house. I mean, you shouldn't do that ever, at all, but, y'know, timing, really?


Okay, so, this's a fictional movie, obviously, but all the stuff that happened in it? Real phenomena. All the mistakes made? Real mistakes. Seriously. There are certain things one does not wish to fuck with. This'd be one.


  1. What I want to know is why in horror movies do they always go upstairs? Why not out the front door!

  2. 7&8 make me laugh. :)

    I have one rule relating to this: If your house is "haunted", move. Then the others don't matter so much. :D

    I used to think my haunted house was cool. Then I started watching Ghost Hunters. *shudders* Now I don't think I'll want to stay in a place w/any hints of the paranormal.

  3. Ah, what a list that I hope I never have to use. O_O

  4. *forehead slap*

    I missed that one LK!

    10. Don't go up(or down) the stairs, no matter what you think you hear. Leave the house!

  5. Sanil,

    True, but I'm working under the assumption that you can't just pick up and leave. :)

    What is it they say on Ghost Hunters? 'When in doubt, get the hell out?'

  6. Susanne,

    It's like those lists of what to do if the plane crashes, or what to do if attacked by a shark. You wanna know the stuff, but you don't ever want to have to put it to use!


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