Monday, March 30, 2009

'Not Yet' - It's Not the Answer I Want!

Everyone's heard it, when they pray for something that doesn't happen. Someone will invariably say, "sometimes God's answer is 'not yet'." Which is all fine and good when it's not you being told 'not yet'.

I want to get married, and have children. *Really* badly. I feel that this is part of what I'm meant to do with my life. And I've been praying, really hard, that God makes this happen. That I meet the right man, we say the right things, and connect. Find each other. And, you know, I've been getting a little (lot) impatient that this hasn't happened yet.

Because, the thing is, as much as I want to believe I'm ready? I'm not.

I'm selfish. I don't want to compromise about what I want to do, when I want to do it. That's part of why I stopped dating. Why should I have to schedule what I want to do around him? *blows raspberries at all the boys she's dated before* *sigh* So. Clearly, there is work to be done on me, before I'm really, honestly ready to worry about another person, to be able to both *give* and take, in a relationship.


  1. I suspect this may be a case of 'the grass is MUCH greener on the other side'....

    whenever my hormones/body clock get the better of me my dodi takes me round to see my brother....

    you see he has four ermmm 'darlings' from 16 through very tortuous stages down to 5...

    the most I've been able to cope with is 5.6 minutes.... before retreating....

    Do not rush into the choice of a life mate - wait for Papa's choice - then all will be well.

    PS: enjoy your freedom while you can.....

  2. Marriage is a great place to do that work on oneself. If we had to be totally "sorted" before we could get married, it would never happen.

    If you keep putting yourself out there, it's bound to happen at some point! I think being proactive is completely sensible, and not desperate at all. Good luck.

  3. I think that's the problem, is that I'm trying to rush things. My hormones are going, "Breed! Breed now!" and, you know, they get the better of me. And I don't have any family or friends with kids to go harrass so I remember why I should enjoy being single or funnel my child rearing urges onto their kids. :)


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