If you have to choose between being respected or being loved, isn't there something fundamentally wrong with the relationship?
We're speaking of romantic/marital relations here.
If the person really loves you, they will respect you as well.
If it is only respect, and not love, why marry? We're not living in a time when the majority of us marry for property or a good name. We marry because we want to marry that person. Mutual respect is not enough to decide to not only live with that person but to become one flesh with them. It's the most intimate relationship on earth.
And respect, while necessary, is not enough on its own.