Thursday, February 10, 2011

Respect, Love, or a Combination Thereof

If you have to choose between being respected or being loved, isn't there something fundamentally wrong with the relationship?

We're speaking of romantic/marital relations here.

If the person really loves you, they will respect you as well.

If it is only respect, and not love, why marry? We're not living in a time when the majority of us marry for property or a good name. We marry because we want to marry that person. Mutual respect is not enough to decide to not only live with that person but to become one flesh with them. It's the most intimate relationship on earth.

And respect, while necessary, is not enough on its own.


  1. Good questions. I've noticed that in my own marriage one challenge is that the notion of "respect" means different things in different languages/cultures.

  2. "If the person really loves you, they will respect you as well."

    I agree totally.

  3. Zuhura,

    I know what's 'respectful' can be completely different even between North and South in the states. So I guess one important thing, especially in a cross cultural relationship would be to define 'respect'. But it's awkward to just sit down and do that. I think we all assume, to some degree, that our definition is both correct and universal.

  4. Susanne,

    Of course you do. Because it only makes sense!

  5. I'm in complete agreement that love and respect are equally necessary in a relationship. My last relationship the guy claimed to love me more than anything else, but his behaviour was not even close to respectful, and in the end I had to say if that's how you love me, I don't want to be loved by you.

  6. Becky,

    Exactly! The two have to come together, or the relationship just ain't right!


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