When we last left the boys, Sam had just unwittingly popped Satan out of his box. They were trapped in the old chapel that was the entrance to his cage as it was filling up with a really freaking bright, hot light (it was disintegrating the doors!) which is really the un-hosted form of Lucifer (highly intelligent and pissed off sunbeam, people). They're screwed, and then suddenly, *snaps fingers* they're not!
They find themselves on an airplane flying near where they just were, with no idea how they got there. Looking out one window, they see the massive column of light that is Lucifer shooting up into the sky.
The boys go back to Chuck's place, where Dean had left Castiel to fight the archangel coming to smite his ass back to Eden. Chuck is there and whacks Sam upside the head with a toilet plunger. The place is a disaster and Chuck tells them that Cas was exploded by the archangel. (There's bits *everywhere*!)
Zachariah the douche shows up with some angel bully boys and tries to nick Dean, but they were prepared and use one of the sigils they learned from Cas to blast the angels back to Oz. Dean and Sam head off to lay low in a hotel, meanwhile Chuck gets a 'secret vision', and has to contact the boys in a very roundabout way by means of the Fangirl Becky!
Becky likes Sam. A lot. (ps, I totally typed 'licks' at first there. Hullo Freud.)
Anyway. The message is that the angels lost Michael's sword and that it's in a castle on a hill made of 42 dogs. Very vision-y.
Bobby comes to help and they figure out that it's a storage facility where their dad has a unit. Castle Storage at 42 Rover Lane or something. Sadly, 'Bobby' is actually a demon possessing Bobby and he cold cocks Dean, lets Meg (in a new body!) in and gets set to slice and dice. Sam tries to stop them, fails, and Dean somehow reaches Bobby beneath the demons control and Bobby stabs himself with the demon killing knife, killing the demon and nearly killing Bobby.
They rush Bobby to the hospital then have to rush off to try and beat the demons to Michael's sword. When they get there, the demons are already dead, and Zach and Crew are there. Turns out the 'sword' is a metaphor. Dean is the 'sword'. Michael's vessel. Zach is torturing the boys to get Dean to say yes (since Michael's an angel he needs permission to take a vessel but it apparently doesn't matter how that permission is obtained).
Cas shows up, *poof* and kills the bully boys and forces Zach to heal Dean and Sam and flee. He tags Enochian on the boys ribs that will keep them under the angelic radar and vanishes again. The boys go back to the hospital to find that Bobby has survived, but will most likely never walk again. And Cas, though alive, is cut off from heaven and cannot heal him.
In the mean time we meet Nick, who is a very tragic, tragic man. His wife and child were murdered and he's falling apart. Unfortunately for him, he's 'special' - he's Lucifer's vessel.
The scene where Lucifer convinces him to say yes? Is awesome. I prove it with dialogue:
'Nick. You're dreaming Nick. That doesn't mean this isn't real.'
'I'm not your wife Nick. I'm an angel.'
'My name is Lucifer.'
'Sure. Naturally. Um, could you do a favor there, Satan, and remind me to quit drinking before I go to bed?'
'I'm here because you're special, Nick. There's very, very few people like you.'
'Is that so?'
'You're a vessel. A very powerful vessel.'
'Meaning what exactly?'
'I need to take control of your mind and your body. To be honest it'll probably be unpleasant for you. But it is necessary.'
'Okay. Look, if it's just the same to you, I think I'd like to wake up now.'
'I told you. This is real. Don't be afraid! This is your choice. You need to invite me in.'
'Even if this is real, which it's not, but assuming it was, why the hell would I do something like that?'
'People misunderstand me. They call me satan, and devil, but, do you know my crime? I loved God. Too much. And for that he betrayed me. Punished me. Just as he's punished you. After all, how could God stand idly by while that man broke into your home and butchered your family in their beds? There are only two rational answers, Nick. Either he's sadistic or he simply doesn't care. You're angry. You have every right to be angry. I am angry too. That's why I want to find him. Hold him accountable for his actions. Just because he created us doesn't mean he can toy with us like playthings.'
'If I help you, can you bring back my family?'
'I'm sorry, I can't. But I can give you the next best thing. God did this to you Nick and I can give you justice. Peace.'
'How do I know you're telling the truth?'
'Because contrary to popular belief, I don't lie. I don't need to. What I need, is you. Nick, I need you to say yes.'
So the boys are on the run from both heaven and hell, trying to find a way to kill the devil and keep from fulfilling their destinies and ripping the planet apart as Michael and Lucifer's meat suits. Oh, did I forget to mention that, of course, Sam is destined to be Lucifer's vessel. See, Nick is like...plan b. He can hold Lucifer but not forever. He starts burning out.
Dean and Sam run into the Horsemen as well, which is just awesome. War is cool, and drives a *cherry* Mustang! To stop him from making an entire town full of people slaughter each other they figure out that this ring he has somehow controls his powers and they slice off his finger to get it.
Famine is icky and gross and his car is nowhere *near* as nice as War's. They also collect *his* ring. Chop chop baby!
Dean and Sam get sent back in time to stop the angel that is trying to kill their parents before Dean and Sam can be conceived, and the highlight of that ep, for me, aside from watching Anna get ganked is Michael's speech on free will:
M: Well I'd say this conversation is long over due, wouldn't you?
D: Fix him!
M: First, we talk. Then I fix your darling little Sammy.
D: How'd you get in my dad anyway?
M: I told him I could save his wife, and he said yes.
D: I guess they over sold me, being your 'one and only vessel', huh?
M: You're my true vessel, but not my only one.
D: What's that supposed to mean?
M: It's a bloodline.
D: A bloodline?
M: Stretching back to Cain and Abel. It's in your blood, your father's blood, your families' blood.
D: Awesome. Six degrees of 'Heaven' Bacon. What d'you want with me?
M: You really don't know the answer to that?
D: Well you know I ain't gonna say yes, so why're you here? What d'you want with me?
M: I just want you to understand what you and I have to do.
D: Oh, I get it. You got beef with your brother. Well get some therapy pal, don't take it out on my planet!
M: You're wrong. Lucifer defied our father, and he betrayed me, but still, I don't want this any more than you would want to kill Sam. You know, my brother, I practically raised him. I took care of him in a way most people could never understand, and I still love him. But I am going to kill him, because it is right, and I have to.
D: What, because God said so?
M: Yes. From the beginning, he knew this was how it was going to end.
D: And you're just going to do whatever God says?
M: Yes. Because I am a good son.
D: Huh. Yeah well, trust me, take it from someone who knows, that is a dead end street.
M: And you think you know better, than my father? One, unimportant little man? What makes you think you get to choose?
D: Because I gotta believe, that I can choose what I do with my, 'unimportant, little' life.
M: You're wrong. You know how I know? Think of a million, random acts of chance that let John and Mary be born, to meet, to fall in love, to have the two of you. Think of the million random choices that you make and yet how each and every one of them brings you closer to your destiny. Do you know why that is? Because it's not random, it's not chance. It's a plan that is playing itself out. Perfectly. Free will's an illusion, Dean. That's why you're going to say yes. Oh, buck up. It could be worse. Y'know, unlike my brothers, I won't leave you a drooling mess when I'm done wearing you.
D: And what about my dad?
M: Better than new. In fact, I'm going to do your mom and your dad a favor.
M: Scrub their minds. They won't remember me or you.
D: You can't do that.
M: I'm just giving your mother what she wants. She can go back to her husband, her family -
D: She's going to walk right into that nursery!
M: Obviously. And you always knew that was going to play out, one way or another. You can't fight city hall.
In a *fabulous* appearance, the Trickster returns. Seeing as how he's the most powerful non-angel being they've met Sam wants to see if he'll help them stop the apocalypse. Unsurprisingly this does not go as planned. The Trickster seems to want them to 'play their roles' - to let the apocalypse go as planned. He traps them in 'tv land' until they agree to say 'yes' to their respective puppet masters. Cas breaks in to try and free them and realizes that the Trickster is way too powerful, but gets shunted off somewhere before he can get the boys out. Dean figures out what's what, and traps the Trickster in a ring of Holy Oil Fire. Turns out 'the Trickster' is actually the archangel Gabriel who's been AWOL for a millenium or two. Dean chews him a new one for being a coward and they set him free, leaving to continue their search for some way to stop the end of the world.
Thinking that Chuck was in trouble they get tricked into attending a Supernatural Fan Convention by Becky. It's a cute ep, but the important fact is that they find out that a demon named Crowley has the Colt (which was stolen back in season 3, remember?) and they think they might be able to use it to kill the devil.
They catch up to Crowley who has read the writing on the wall and realizes that the devil's mad on for humanity is not going to end with humanity. Since demons used to be people as soon as he finished with them Lucifer will kill the demons as well. All he's *ever* cared about are the other angels. So in the name of self preservation Crowley gives them the Colt to try and kill Lucifer. They find where Lucifer is and attempt to stop him, taking Jo and Ellen Harvelle with them. Painfully, Jo and Ellen die - sacrificing their lives to get Dean and Sam the chance to get next to Lucifer. And more fully painfully, the Colt can't kill Lucifer.
They run away, and a bit later on run into Gabriel again. Who heroically dies fighting Lucifer! Yay Gabriel! (BRING HIM BACK SERA!) And who also informs them that they can trap Lucifer in his cage again and that the Horsemen's rings are the keys.
Crowley shows up to help them track down Pestilence and Death.
Pestilence is *gross*, but they get his ring.
Death...Death is something else. Death is awesome. Death is just as old as God, and swears that eventually he will reap God too. He's pissed that Lucifer managed to put a leash on him and gives Dean his ring in exchange for Dean following Sam's crazy ass plan and getting Lucifer put away.
See, Sam's decided that the only way to get Lucifer back into the cage is to say yes, let Lucifer in, and then fight control back from Lucifer and jump into the cage with him. Dean, with no real choice, agrees.
With all four rings, they track down Lucifer and Sam says yes. Of course Lucifer kicks him mental ass and goes about to have his big show down with Michael who has found an alternate vessel in Adam (who is Dean and Sam's half brother). Their conversation before they fight is also made of win:
It's good to see you Michael.
You too. It's been too long.
Can you believe it's finally here?
No. Not really. You ready?
*nods* As I'll ever be. Part of me wishes we didn't have to do this.
Yeah. Me too.
Then why are we?
Oh, you know why. I have no choice, after what you did.
What I did? What if it's not my fault?
What's that supposed to mean?
Think about it. Dad made everything. Which means he made me who I am. God wanted the devil.
So why? And why make us fight? I just can't figure out the point.
What's your point?
We're going to kill each other. And for what? One of dad's tests? We don't even know the answer. We're brothers. Let's just walk off the chess board.
I'm sorry. I - I can't do that. I'm a good son and I have my orders.
We don't have to follow them.
What, you think I'm going to rebel? Now? I'm not like you.
No you haven't changed a bit, little brother. Always blaming everybody but yourself. We were together. We were happy. But you betrayed me. All of us. And you made our father leave.
No one makes Dad do anything. He is doing this, to us.
You're a monster Lucifer. And I have to kill you.
If that's the way it's gotta be. Then I'd like to see you try.
Before they can fight though, Dean shows up. Cas follows, and Molotov's Michael. Which pisses off Lucifer. Nobody dicks with Michael but him. So he explodes Cas again. And then kills Bobby when Bobby shoots him. Then he proceeds to kick Dean's ass. In the middle of this, Sam takes control again! And he opens the portal to Lucifer's cage and gets set to jump in. Which is of course when Michael shows up and wants to fulfill his destiny. He tries to stop Sam from jumping, but Sam just grabs him and pulls him into the cage with him.
The cage closes and then Cas reappears. Dean thinks Cas might be God, but he says no, but God brought him back. He heals Dean and resurrects Bobby. Cas is the new sheriff in heaven. He's currently the biggest bad ass with wings.
Dean goes to live the life Sam wanted for him, apple pie and normal.
We flash to Chuck, who may or may not be only a prophet. There's debate on this, so I won't spell it out.
Meanwhile, we see Dean sitting down to dinner with Lisa and Ben (who may or may not be Dean's son), and then as we pan out, we see...SAMMY!
End season! Damn you Kripke!!!!!!!!!!
But Season 6 starts tonight!