1. Do not date where you work (this rule may be relaxed, in special circumstances. But in general, it's not a good idea. If it ends, you still have to work professionally with this person for many years.)
2. Do not date someone who is married. "Separated" is still married. Until they are divorced, they are still married.
3. Do not have sex with them within the first week of dating!
4. Do not 'move in' together after having been dating for less than four months!
5. Do not tell your jealous s.o. about all the people that flirt with you on a regular basis. They will start a fight, and then you'll be left in the middle, crying about how it's not your fault!
6. Do not, after having been told that your s.o. is not invited to a wedding, proceed to include them on the attending response. They were very specifically not invited for a reason.
Ah, coworkers. It'd be entertaining, if it weren't true...
Ahhhh, good advice! It's sad how easy it is to fall into these things, huh? I can't imagine having to work with someone I dated/slept with/lived with and then broke up with. *nightmare*
ReplyDeleteBTW, I finally made a video of myself that I'll try to share on my blog soon. It's sooo stupid, but ever since you made yours, I've been meaning to do it. Yesterday was the day! :-)
Also, I hope my mentioning of mountain heights the other day didn't make you feel queasy. I remembered you don't care much for heights.
OK, have a good day!
Whee! I wanna see the video! Poooooooooossssssssstttt iiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteOK, I posted it. I mentioned that it was your idea, but maybe I was lying about that due to my nervousness. Sorry.
ReplyDeleteHope you got to eat a Hershey's kiss (maggot free) today.
I know! I can see the post, but I'm at work, so I can't watch it! *Wah*! It's on my list for when I get home tonight though! I wanna hear Susanne's dulcet Southern twang! :p
ReplyDeleteAnd I will totally take the blame for this. I've got no problem with that.
No! I am so off chocolate right now...*blegh*
1. Don't date at all. Spend platonic time with all except your spouse. Then the problem takes care of itself.
ReplyDelete2. Don't mess with anyone who has ever been married, unless you are sure it was 1) destroyed by their partner's sexual immorality, or 2) never a real marriage to begin with. Either way, the person has a lot of explaining to do before you even agree to spend time with them.
3. Don't have sex with them until after the wedding.
4. Don't move in together until after the wedding.
5. Don't flirt. Be so non-flirtatious that you don't even notice if someone is flirting with you. And if, God forbid, you do notice, have the good sense to be offended.
6. Don't have a s.o. other than your spouse. If a person doesn't want to invite your spouse, do you really want to be at that wedding anyway?
No flirting? How does that work? I guess the better question is: what exactly constitutes flirting? Hmmmmm...anything that you don't notice? :) I've actually wondered this before so your comment, Caraboska, brought it to mind again. :)
ReplyDeleteLOL Amber you're so funny.
ReplyDeletecaraboska,
ReplyDelete1. We're assuming, in this case, that one does not have a spouse. In which case dating is the only way to find one. Whether you're internet dating, or courting, or whatever you find acceptable, you can't find a spouse without dating in some form. Aside from arranged marriages, which don't happen for most people. Of course, if one has a spouse, then you shouldn't be dating.
2. Not always possible.
3 & 4. I totally agree. But (of course) I'm talking about a specific case, a person that I know. And these are all the things that she has done wrong, so far.
5. I don't see flirting as harmful, which I think you sort of do. Flirting is something like the opening salvo - do you two have anything in common? Do you find each other attractive? Should you go out on a date? Flirting doesn't have to lead to anything inappropriate.
6. Up until they become your spouse, your boyfriend/girlfriend is your s.o., and the one you are expected to take to functions like weddings. And, I would actually take the reverse position. If none of your friends or family like the person you are seeing, you should examine why, and look at the fact that you may be making a *huge* mistake in your choice of partner.
In the case I am speaking of, she is dating a man who is painfully immature for his age, who exhibits bipolar qualities, who drinks far too much, who starts fights, and who uses her like a combination babysitter/mommy/booty call. He's not invited to the wedding because he's already tried to start a fight, twice, with the best man in the wedding, who is married to the sister of the groom. And 'she' is in the wedding, because she's the best friend of the bride. So.
Susanne,
ReplyDeleteA good question. Also, does flirting necessarily have to be bad? Assuming both parties are unattached, and nothing inappropriate happens (sex, heavy petting, making out, whatever you want to call it), is flirting a bad thing?
LK,
ReplyDeleteThanks. It's kind of like watching a soap opera, right in front of my eyes!
I don't think flirting is always bad. Not at all.
ReplyDelete